Date: August 30 2020 5:48 PM Title: Chapter 1: Consequences of Crime
I read your story a few years ago and am still waiting for the next chapters. Your story becomes more and more interesting chaptere after chapter. If you intend to continue it I am ready to help you with suggestions and advice ... Thank you
Date: September 01 2018 9:07 AM Title: Chapter 1: Consequences of Crime
Bonne histoire. Il est possible d'y agouter beucoup plus de chapitres. Ne nous faites pas attendre s'il vous plait
[Report This]Date: May 24 2018 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 3: This American Life - A Taste of the 99%
Lollipop chapter was great too! I see what you mean about planning something similar to what I had suggested in previous review. I think you did a great job with the characters as well as the description of what it was like for him .
Some other ideas:
1. A grain of sand. Imagine a grain of sand at the beach, and what it was to go through. Made into a sand castle, stuck between a girl's toes, shaken off in the water, stuck between a girl's butt cheeks in her bikini bottom, etc.
2. I like what someone else suggested about a girl who knows her items are transformed prisoners. Maybe like this is sadistic girl with a bag full of gummy bears where each one is a person, and she eats them slowly and deliberately, biting off legs or heads while taunting them .
3. A berry that gets thrown into a blender and made into a smoothie.
4. Insole In a soccer cleat.
Author's Response:
Thanks for another review, glad you're enjoying the story! I like the grain of sand idea, I wouldn't have thought of that. You can probably expect something similar to show up eventually lol
[Report This]Date: May 24 2018 2:47 AM Title: Chapter 3: This American Life - A Taste of the 99%
I love TF stories, but I am missing the horror aspect in the story. Still good written.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback! Since he understands why and how he transformed I don't really think there's much of a horror aspect in this story besides situational pain sometimes.
Date: May 23 2018 1:48 PM Title: Chapter 2: Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies' Daughters Closer
Amazing story so far. Love the direction it's going. Can't wait to see where it goes next!
I also agree with what others have mentioned, there isn't a lot of transformation stories out there but you're doing a phenomenal job!
It would be pretty awesome to see if Tony ends up somehow with Hawthorne and maybe even with Diane.
One idea also that I think would be pretty funny if he spends some time as some sort of doll but it would almost look exactly like him and could be owned by Mrs. Bianchis and we could get a good view of what's unfolding with them and how they're looking for Tony.
Keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
Thank for reading and the review! I'm trying to balance out the whole situation of randomly transforming into things with the overarching story so the Bianchis, Blaines, Hawthorne, etc are definitely going to be prominent. At the same time, I'm going to write some filler that I find interesting/funny. Hope you enjoy the future chapters!
Date: May 23 2018 12:05 PM Title: Chapter 1: Consequences of Crime
Also, are you planning on having the people he ends up with always unaware? Or is there some program where specific people can choose criminals to mess with them?
Author's Response:
Not everyone will be unaware, I like variety. Haven't really figured out how but something along the lines of what you suggested
Date: May 23 2018 12:04 PM Title: Chapter 1: Consequences of Crime
Great story so far! Like others said, I love to see transformation touched on since we don’t see that often. I look forward to see what you cook up!
As others said, I think the gum idea and becoming someone’s butt would be interesting to see. Some kind of liquid to be drank would be a journey too haha
Author's Response:
Awesome! thanks for the review! Mouth play stuff is like ~30% written at this point so that's definitely coming
[Report This]Date: May 23 2018 3:57 AM Title: Chapter 2: Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies' Daughters Closer
Good start! There aren't many transformations stories so it's good to see someone creating one. I like the plot, interesting and refreshing. Although, I would love if you could make the transformations a bit more descriptive. How he feels, etc. Keep the good job! Hopefully he will become a bra in one of his transformations:)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I can definitely work on descriptions and I could see that in his future lol