Reviewer: bryanw3614 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 03 2022 2:51 PM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

great story, would love to see it continue

Reviewer: SciFiCrazy Signed [Report This]
Date: May 05 2020 4:59 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

Great read. Would love to see a background story on the ring. Where did it come from? Or history of it’s previous uses by prior owners.

Reviewer: Goddessruler Signed [Report This]
Date: March 29 2020 2:34 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

Would be willing to commission more chapters of this as well if that’s what it takes to get more

Reviewer: Trap Signed [Report This]
Date: August 05 2018 8:25 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

This is a pretty fun little romp! The characterization is absolutely engaging, and lead to some nice action. The sense that the title character doesn't exactly understand the scope of what she's causing only further enhances the power disparsity. The chapter "Momdom and Chocolate" is probably my favorite, because it draws the most attention to that fundamental disconnect - and I love the descriptions of her accidental actions, and nonchalant reactions afterwards. It's also nice how not every aspect of reality control entirely revolves around worshipping her; you get across a great sense of her personality from how replays of her favorite shows and insistence on health and hygiene float around her idle commands. The whimsical tone, lack of destruction, and mind-controlled happiness everyone's in make you really cheer along, it's like a comfortable visit.

Now, for the constructive criticism: the word "mom" appears 98 times so far in the story, not counting variations like "mommy". This isn't incredibly jarring when the kids are in focus, but it gets a little odd when they're more minor characters: more specifically, upon the founding of Mommyland. If Jenny had found the amulet, would she name the planet "Daughterland", or "Sisterland"? Granted, now that her children are getting an expanded role, I feel like this'll be less apparent.

As well, I think the story could really benefit from a few more juicy, delicious peaks at life in Mommyland. I like what I've seen of that, and you've brought some nice world-shaking changes; and while I love the pacing, taking a moment to pause the action, and really soak in just how much this woman has changed everyday life, how her immense curves look to the world, could really round out the story even fuller.

Overall, top-notch stuff. Very excited to see how the dynamics change with time, both with the extra players involved and the mother getting more used to her role. I love it when the power scales shift, and someone who was below a set of feet is now towering in the clouds!

Author's Response:

I really appreciate the review! As someone who's super ammeture and doesn't write very often, I'm really thankful for the big feedback 

Right now I'm actually considering taking back the newest chapter, and steering the story in a different direction. Having the next newest chapter be from the perspective of a normal person as they succumb to the whims of their new maternal deity; as well as having the story primarily focus on her. Though I'm definitely going to go through and do a quick edit at some point and replace some of the "mom"'s now that you pointed it out :P

hope you're having an awesome day!

Reviewer: AdamX Signed [Report This]
Date: February 23 2018 4:44 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

This is actually a very cool concept, well done.

Reviewer: Hongo Signed [Report This]
Date: January 13 2018 6:40 PM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

This is amazing! I love this story. Please, please keep going with the mom character. I would love to see her turn evil and crush them, or maybe she gets angry, or summons someone who she wants revenge on and ends up crushing his/her entire city.

 

Someone also suggested that you introduce an Aunt character. That would be lovely as well, as long as she's mean!

 

 

Reviewer: zbh Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29 2017 3:43 PM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

Maybe do one with a woman who had her boyfriend stolen by another girl, and gets revenge on the boyfriend and the girl who stole him?

Reviewer: Justicar Nigri Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29 2017 11:36 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

I would also like to read abit more about our all powerful mom goddess ^^ Maybe let her make a meal from various countries~

Reviewer: SuperD Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29 2017 10:44 AM Title: Chapter 3: Narcissism and destruction

This is an amazing story. I love the Mommy God Chapters and would love to see more of this amazing character.

 

My suggestion for later chapters would be a young college age lesbian getting the ring and turning everyone in the world into cute tiny young women and to be in a relationship with everyone as all the tinies have an orgy in the young woman's private parts.

Reviewer: Lordslug Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29 2017 1:01 AM Title: Chapter 1: Discovery

I am also hoping you stick with the mom and the map maybe have her teleport somewhere and have some city’s massage her feet