Date: April 05 2018 4:06 AM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
I've finally read the updated chapter 13 and man, it was gross what happened to Izzy. Those MAJORS are the worst ! I'll probably end making use of that scene in Alejandro's school life, if inly as a mention, sooner or later ! I also really like the last chapter, with the way businesses make use of the scarcity of Minors to entice customers and all. Very underhanded !
[Report This]Date: March 28 2018 6:41 AM Title: Chapter 14: HALF/day
The home ec scene really shows your brilliance at telling a layered narrative. Izzy is struggling to achieve what she considers basic competence at life skills. Having no mother to “bring her up to speed” at these things, but having had one to give her an example, she desires to be what we consider a good cook. She attends an elite, expensive school only to learn that what her mother taught her as a child and what she has taught herself has put her into some strange “middle ground.” She’s too advanced for what they teach tinies and too behind far behind for the “culinary arts” courses of the biggies. She’s stuck in some middle half point...alone.
But, hey, good job Mabel. Be condescending and try to make her feel guilty/freakish for wanting to learn. Someone as cool as Izzy shouldn’t be accommodated if it interferes with your groping agenda. She really needs to that. AND to be shamed into shutting up when she craves higher knowledge. Inspite of all your concern about superiorness, when Izzy proves herself better and more accomplished at something, she needs to be quiet and not stand out from the rest of the herd. Oh, Mabel, you are the embodiment of the “toxic biggieness” that permeates this world. Would you, Mabel, tolerate someone wasting your time with “this is how you crack an egg?”
It really seems like Izzy is never going to get what she wants out her school experience. This cooking class illustrates that she has done a much better job of teaching herself than this school ever will. It’s either going to waste her time with dribble or it’s going to go right for advanced courses with no foundational work. And while she’s expected to slow down and wait for others to catch up, she’s offered no such consideration.
She is so alone.
But she’s been so conditioned that she can’t simply see herself as special and worthy of special consideration. She’s been taught she’s inferior, second class, and so she must accommodate everyone around her.
And that Darren punk just getting off with a slap on the wrist is only confirming what society has taught her.
The film seems unlikely to help. It will feel like “Well, we’ve decided it’s time for you to learn the truth. You are prey.”
Izzy needs to win that stoopid game. She needs to have a victory to show herself that these stoopid biggies are not her superiors. Cuz it breaks my heart to see her allowing herself to be treated this way. One of the coolest character’s in size fiction ever...she’s got some serious respect coming.
I’m enjoying Sabina’s arc more and more. Seeing her feeling unworthy of Izzy’s friendship was quite an intriguing turn. Such emotional depth seemed well beyond her a few chapters ago. I’m still not sure her doubts aren’t vanity based, but well...with one of the biggies, you can hardly ever tell.
Lisa is getting more and more fun, the more we see her. Her being Izzy’s guide is providing some light and airy scenes that make your world building fun.
McShakey’s has an awful name, but I like the idea of biggies making a diner that say’s it caters to tinies in order to attract biggies... insidious.
Getting special service and having Izzy question it...after living in this world her entire life... shows her egalitarianism is truly in her heart. I admire her more and more.
Great chapter. Great writing. Great characters.
You are awesome. Thanks you.
Peace
pix
Author's Response:
It's quite the conundrum for poor little Izzy. I will say she could probably participate in actually culinary courses if that's where her passion lied. The problem here is that these are basic living skills classes. Thanks to her upbring she already know basic living skill so the lesson is not very stimulating for her. So she is sort of caught in the middle as the rest of her kind try to catch up with more independant minors like her. I'd imagine Alejandro would encounter some of the same in his minor classes. Overall I see it as progress for her generation. Most minors didn't even learn this is high school...if they even went to high school. It is only her first two weeks I'm sure in time if she communicates her needs properly she will get the experience she want. Right now it's sort of a growing pains situation.
I really have to work on Izzellah's self worth issues don't I? Poor girl. As much as she knows she's an exception to other minors compared to MAJORS which by her very nature she does almost instinctively she is even more aware of the huge skill gap...more of a chasm actually in ability. I don't know if she'll ever truly feel like she's valuable in this world. Sad.
You know I actually thought Mabel was trying to be nice, but you really cut right throught the bullshit don't you? I will say she was sincere but maybe she doesn't fully grasp what Izzellah's going through? Hwo could she right? I still like Mabel and I think she's trying. She is a good chef so that's something I think Izzy might admire. If Mabel were smarter she would've offered to teach her cooking instead of fighting or weight lifting. Dummy doesn't know how to read a person at all. Izzellah was just bitching about wanting to cook more. Missed opportunity Red. You'll never win the game that way.
Speaking of winning, the Hollywood ending would be for Izzellah to win and show all the biggies up huh? it might even be the best thing for her.......The odds are pretty against her though. I don't know Pix...she might be in trouble here.
Sabrina's really coming along. It's hard for me not to give her everything she want. I think in the end she may get less than what she wants but more than she expected. Who knows.
Too bad Lisa can't help with the game right?
Insidious? I don't like what you're implying. What's insidious about a food chain enticing a dedicated customer base by catering to a niche? Just because said niche would entice another completely unrelated customer base on pure coincidence mind you to eat there on the off chance of maybe increasing their own chances of interacting with said niche is no never mind to McShakey's. Minors deserve a place to eat don't they? It's not McShakey's fault MAJORS stalk around common knowledge minor hotspots with full wallets and empty stomachs. Just because they often use minors in there advertising doesn't mean anything either. They're just an honest business. Lisa likes them! *wink* I think Izzellah might like the place too. *wink* Maybe she'll ask her dad to take her there sometime...or or ask Sabrina to drive her there after schooll. And if a new minor regular aomehow attracts even more customers..well that's just good luck. *wink*
Thanks for the comment.
[Report This]Date: March 27 2018 9:43 PM Title: Chapter 14: HALF/day
Excellent chapter (as always, may I add!). A little sad to know that the main story is over relatively soon... but we(ve got the Special so I'll be happy when it'll get updated (or when you'll start writing something else ;) ). Keep up the awesome work and good luck for your comic. I'll write a better review after work, don't worry :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the support. Sadly all things must come to an end in time. I'm as excited to write the special as you are to read it.
[Report This]Date: March 27 2018 8:46 PM Title: Chapter 14: HALF/day
Plenty of signifigance happened, Izzy found a new place to eat and met a dog and generally had a good stress free day.
She even helped brighten Sab's mood even if only a little bit.
P.S. I'd go to church more often if it were held on a giant girls shoulder.
Author's Response:
Well when you put it like that I guess a lot happened. I'd go to church more too for the same reason.
Date: March 27 2018 7:50 PM Title: Chapter 14: HALF/day
A nice slice of life chapter and it sounds like this is a big shot neighborhood, dang. Also that dark age bit is coming up, that'll be interesting.
A little question I've been wondering: what is the average hieght for MAJORS? Are they double the height of minors or bigger?
Author's Response:
Yes very interesting.
As far as size scale goes. MAJORS are generally twice the size of average human at full maturity. Between 9 and 12ft is the working range where twelve is considered tall and above that is basketball player size. Anything below 8ft is considered short or young for example: Sabrina is around 7ft but she's also 13 and hasn't hit puberty yet. There are of course outliers like in life. Shannon Matthewson from Kurogane335's story is pushing 15ft! She's an anomaly. A freak of nature if you will. That being said there is potential for MAJORS to get even larger than that. I do limit is to 20ft max to keep the nature of this world in balance.
Date: March 25 2018 9:58 AM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
Dear notsirk, I read your new story and it really is good; but for my, the fact of Izellah and Sabrina are sisters is something religious , even so I liked and thankfull for your work.
Author's Response:
Hey who am I to judge a person's gospel? Thanks for your support Puka!
Date: March 21 2018 7:04 PM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
Really enjoying the setting of this story. Teenagers being teenagers and my favorite the rare "tiny" actually not backing down from aynthing even intimidating others. Glad to see that minors are not totally powerless in the face of Majors hope to see Izzy grow more in that department.
Kind of irratated with some of the characters since they keep pushing their agenda on Izzy but it cant be helped since they cant really go against their programming. Mei being sneeky and smart feels like she has already connected with Izzy and is able to find her as seen in the lastest chapter. Rebecca and Brenda make an odd pair but seems to work great caring for each other. Liking Brenda as she seems like a really nice person hope she gets a chance with Izzy later on. Sabrina seems like the "little sister" seeking approval from her big sister which makes her cute hope they get to grow closer since they will probably be sisters soon. Lisa at first seemed like she might be someone holding back Izzy but glad that is was the complete opposite actually being supportive and even being great friends.
Izzy just comes out great overall trying to grown and prove herself even though almost no Major really notices or cares. Wondering if with Brendas help she can become stronger against other Majors advances.
Cant wait for more chapters to see how everything turns out. Please keep up the great work.
Author's Response:
I'm happy you're enjoying the story and its characters. Sabrina would prefer Izzy not see her as a sister. That would make thing even more weird than their parents already boning. In a way it's unfair that her mom's love life could negatively effect hers.
The runnings wide open on who will end up with Izzy. Brenda might be a bit dangerous for a first time though. Who knows at this point?
A new chapter has updated. Hope you like it.
[Report This]Date: March 15 2018 10:02 AM Title: Chapter 13: POWER/struggles
Damn it ! A chapter getting out just when I have to go out for work and have to wait all day to make a comment !
First thing first, it was amazing to actually have teenage MAJORS being themselves in the wilds, so to speak. It really helps establish how they see the world and their place in it. I mean, they are assholes, mostly, but clearly they don't even realize that they are like that. It's makes them almost sufferable. The operative word being almost.
Also, I liked Randalf and Izzy's interaction, and Summer turned out to be so much more complex than I thought she would be last chapter. Iggy being furious was also great, especially since it came with Izzellah being all awed by him, since it's so unusual for him to be angry near her (I'm sure he is a lot more often at work !). Even Mei didn't came out as conniving, and more as opportunistic and perhaps a little too infatuated in Izzellah.
Overall, an excellent chapter, which puts so much pressure on me to release some good quality content for New Lives ! Man, I like it !
[Report This]Date: March 14 2018 10:21 PM Title: Chapter 13: POWER/struggles
That Winton kid has a back of the head punch coming...
Summer has definitely added a bit of zest to things and Randy as the levelheaded Obi Won to Izzy's renegade spirit works nicely.
Also Mei, devious devious Mei.
Author's Response:
He won't get it though. He's probably getting laid right now. Jackass.
Everything's all going according to plan. Now I would never insinuate that Mei somehow orchestrated that encounter. That would be ridiculous. How would she even do that? I'm pretty sure Darren doesn't associate with her but still. Hrmmmm. Some stuff has been revealed this chapter. I wonder how Mei factors in? Devious, devious, Mei..........I don't trust her.
[Report This]Date: March 14 2018 9:23 PM Title: Chapter 13: POWER/struggles
So...they’re all jerks?
No. No. They stop being jerks after they get old enough?
Now I’m just confused...
Actually, the opposite. It’s very clear that you are writer who can juggle multiple layered and varied characters in a story. I love how, even though they have a kind of consistency of behavior, your characters are different and interesting.
I mean, if every character interaction leads to the same place, what’s the point? That happens way too often in our genre. “The biggie gets what they want” and it get’s called a story. But you are telling a story with conflict and complications and variety.
Interesting characters in interesting situations...it’s all about how good can you write that...and you are doing a great job showing us that you can write that extremely well. You don’t have to like all the characters to want to see what happens.
It was really interesting seeing some semblance of consequences in this chapter. Lots of stories fall apart when the people involve authority figures, but you’ve created a “some are more equal than others” world where “Win-Dumb” would get way too much slack. And I loved that people noticed it and commented on it. It may not lead to any lasting consequences (in this case) but the fact that that didn’t pass without comment is refreshing.
I think Izzy should have been more scared...and then more angry...at her encounter, Yes, you’ve established her over confidence time and time again. I just feel now would have been a lesson for her. She’s bulled her way through things time and time again and being treated that way, being that helpless, would have been awful for her, I think. I don’t really want her humbled, but she’s come to school to learn...
Yeah, I know...only been a week.
And...they got flattened by a halfsie...and a realtiy TV star. Ha ha. They probably wouldn’t want to show their faces at school for a while anyway.
But I’m really here to watch Izzy grow as a character...it’s what brings me back. And I have to say what would have made a dramatic impression on her ,in my mind, wound up underplayed. I at least would have liked to have seen her articulate her objections as objections, instead of almost empathizing with “Dumb-One Win-Dumb” until it was almost too late. If ever there was a time to cus and shout, that was it.
The format seemed to be a mix of the usually story form we’ve seen for this tale and the more episodic form you’ve tried. It works really well in this chapter.
While I might have a small issue with a short bit of the chapter, I found this chapter very fun, well crafted and complex. Pix points to you!
Thanks for sharing this are further defining your fascinating world.
Peace
pix
PS - Remember, you can write a nice long response as a document then cut and paste it onto the page...then you don't have to worry about timing out.
Author's Response:
They're not all jerks. Just a dramatically appropriate amount as related to the life of the main character!......So yeah they're all jerks.
You actually raise a very valid point that I think I'll follow up on. Izzellah should have been more scared. I was planning on having her evaluate and react to what happened more next chapter which will still happen, but yeah! She should be way more scared than I thnk I showed. It seemed fine in writing and even editing, but now that you point it out it does lack a little impact. I CAN"T NOT SEE IT!!! So thanks for that!
I think I revealed some key information that might come into play soon. I'm interested if you've snuffed anything out.
I did enjoy giving the minors a victory. I had to establish sooo much just to get to this point. I had this idea when Lisa was first introduced! It wasn;t necessarily the plan all along butI think it worked out. Very fitting for her character I think and Randalf too. The bond is a two way street! MAJORS may have a natural advantage, but they can still get played. Sometimes the deer kills the wolf....Does that analogy make sense? Not really. I'm bad at being poetic or whatever that was. It was fun, and maybe Izzellah learned something.
And hey! I earned some pix points. How many before I can cash them in for another chapter of Dark Necessities? Huh?! Huh?! I haven't forgotten! I. Haven't. Forgotten.
Date: March 14 2018 9:21 PM Title: Chapter 13: POWER/struggles
Darren the Winton in Winton Heights Winton can die right now. Seriously.
Lisa is badass.
Yes, it is suspicious that Mei appeared out of nowhere but I don't think she would let Izzy go through that awful experience, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Plus she embodies my giantess and asian fetish all at once. :)
I liked Randalf, he'll be a good ally to Izzy and I want to see Gloria's reaction to Summer given how insecure she feels around other MAJOR females near Ignacio. Yes, I don't like Gloria.
Author's Response:
The Winton in Winton Heights Winton is catching on! That's it I'm done. My message has been recieved. There's no more need to write this story!
That was a little convenient of Mei wasn't it?....I don't trust her. Something's up here.
Thanks for the comment.
[Report This]Date: March 13 2018 2:07 PM Title: Chapter 12: what/MAJORS/want
Seems like Brenda's lack of confidence in herself really cancels out the apparent advantage she has over the rest in this challange. Mei also seems to lack the skill to backup her overconfidence, this will get interesting.
Also, thanks for adding another chapter, It always brighthens my day when you add a chapter to this story, and I'm to lazy to make a backhanded compliment out of this.
Thanks!
Author's Response:
I can say it won't be as simple as Brenda just wins. I'm really nervous about writing it and making it clever and fun. We'll see. I still have a while before we get there to figure it out.
Thanks for the comment it brightens might day!
Date: March 13 2018 5:07 AM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
Hey, how's my favorite writer doing? Hah, not really my favorite but you are in top five I guess in this site?... Anyways, just registered to the site to drop a reviev that you seem to like so much or pretend to like so I feel obligated to do it in consequence of this bad feeling in my gut.
Last few chapters seems to slow the story a bit but I guess its inevitable since you keep introduce new characters, which I like most of them especially the grandma and the stud couple (yeh I will call them that). This new development between them, yes I'm talking about sadomazo thing, seems a bit risky since I belive most people come to this story for the gentle? stuff. Which is ok I guess, a little diversity is always good, you can't just stereotype the whole species and be done with them. This individual characters are the important part, why am I telling you this even though you already know this? because I really like that stuff, I mean the whole dominating thing and whatnot and want you to continue with this. Also not to forget that if they are doing it right they trust each other tremendously which adds to the charm of this story. Now to the part to what end this granny tanunts him in public or tries to show him off even though two out of every three person in state knows she have a young minor husband because of the TV show. I'm sure you have a good explanation for it, or not... I'm sure we can find it on our own even if one of your characters wont phrase it exactly why, I mean we are not that slow, show some faith in your readers.
About your other works you share with us beside your crappy drawings (yes I called them crappy, twice now even, I remember you telling us about tring to publish a comic, which is a great goal, and I can tell from your first doodles to the newer ones quality improved even if its just a bit, what I'm trying to say is practice makes it perfect) oh yes I was talking about your other works before I got side tracked, please dont call them bad or "dont read!" I personally ejoyed them even if they are not finished, there were some cringy parts but it was a minor thing and overal I think they are pretty good all of them, I hope you continue one of them or all? Well I guess its a bit strech.
Thanks for sharing your work, I'm looking forward to a new chapter.
Author's Response:
This comment was strangely uplifting even though I think you backhandedly complimented me like three times.
And yeah I do introduce new characters a lot. Pay it no mind. It's just a quirk of my writing I'm trying to reel in. The problem is even minor (heh "minor") characters have a name and story in my mind. For example Royce; the math girl that pissed Sabrina off. She was only in one chapter and I don't plan on using her again, but she's named now and maybe that builds an expectation to see her again. I try to make my world seem believable and Izzellah can't just be in class with only Sabrina. So Royce exists. Or if Izzellah wants to go to a library well then a librarian has to exist. Say I right a chapter about Ignacio going to work? Well then he needs coworkers and a boss. Even more new characters! That being said I think I've gotten a good primary and secondary cast of around twelve or so reaccuring characters (about six that actually matter). So I don't plan on adding anymore of real significance.
Probably won't get a steamy boundary (and ass) shattering chapter where Randalf discovers the joys of being penetrated. Summer resents you calling her a granny by the way. Even though that's exactly what she is! Anyway it doesn't really fit the theme of this story. Also I'm not confident in my ability to write good sex scenes. Maybe in MAJOR/minor: SPECIAL though. There are no rules there! Will get more clarification on Randalf in the next chapter. SHort answer is just because you're famous doesn't mean you want to be peeped at half naked.
It's also really nice to find someone who enjoyed my older work. It warms my heart. My cold...cold....heart............ I tend not to value my old work so much just because I feel like I'm better now. Not much better mind you, but enough to see all the flaws in my old stuff while not recognizing when I'm making new ones. I'll try not to insult it though. It's all part of the writing process. I'm sure I'll figure out something to do with those old stories. Snapped for example directly played into the writing of Small.
Thanks for the stellar comment.
Date: March 12 2018 8:43 PM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
Hey I just wanted to say that I love this story.
I have a request for a drawing if u don't mind, could u draw Izzy and Sabrina?
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comment and the totally doable request. Honestly I should have drawn them more a while ago and this is a good excuse to. I'd look for it but don't know if the drawing will be done before I finish the next chapter. It will happen though!
[Report This]Date: March 11 2018 8:21 PM Title: Chapter 12: what/MAJORS/want
Wasn't expecting the Randy bits but his wife definitely makes for an interesting addition to the mix of majors roaming about.
Also I feel kind of bad for Bren, she really seems like a sweet girl that can't control her powers...like an episode of the Xmen 90's cartoon.
Also I'd totally bond with Jess, big irish redhead jock girl is too much a gift to pass up.
Author's Response:
Ah yes! I had to show Randy at some point and while I don't think he'll have a huge impact on the story I think his role in the next chapter (which I'm working on right now) will help our Little Izzy in the long run.
Bren feels kind of bad for Bren. I'm priming her for something big. I hope I pull it off well, although who's saying if that's the best thing for our somber tier 3.
And yeah Izzy wishes she could bond Jess. Clear winner right there right? We already know Izz wants to climb aboard. Oh! But sadly Jessica MacArthur is in a different wieght class and will not be participating in the game. Too bad!
Date: March 11 2018 6:25 PM Title: Chapter 12: what/MAJORS/want
I just got to this story today and binged all these chapters. I'm quite liking it. I like your style too; you're a good writer. It could use some more salicious scenes as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, I'm hoping for that threesome with Bren and Rebecca. I do like Rebecca. What can I say? I'm a sucker for big boobs. Who isn't? This, despite the fact that she chews and pops her gum.
Author's Response:
Hey thank you. I can't guarantee anything to steamy will come about, but maybe if it appears organically. Unfortunately Izzellah is kind of frosty to others right now and most likely won't be hoping into bed with anyone, but I think somethings will heat up near the end. It's also nice to see a Rebecca fan. She'll be getting a little bit more development too soon.
[Report This]Date: March 11 2018 7:23 AM Title: Chapter 12: what/MAJORS/want
Well; Pix said it all, didn't he ? The last chapters have been a delight because of how insightful they have been. I can't help but notice that Tier 3 doesn't seem to be so happy with their lot, we've got three now (Brenda, Samantha and the one of the M/m one-shot in my random factory thread) and their lives aren't as awesome as other MAJORS think they are. Sometimes, being the apex predator can be tiring !
A little sad to see Summer Bradbury going all domination on her little husband, especially since Randalf clearly still sees her as a mostly positive force in his life. I hope she'll get her act together and realise that as small as Minors are, there is no need for all this violence and humiliation (if it isn't thought after by the Minor) for her to be the overpowering part of her family.
Author's Response:
Yeah being tier 3 may not be such a walk in the park. Eill Brenda come into her role? Who knows? I'm interested in Samantha, she seems more comfortable as a tier 3.
This is one very specific situation that portrays Summer as an antagonist, mostly for humor. She's being forceful but Randalf's being a bit of a coward. They both love each other and he knows he's in no real danger. Don't think he doesn't have a few kinks in bed either. It's all a game they play!
[Report This]Date: March 11 2018 12:46 AM Title: Chapter 12: what/MAJORS/want
I have really enjoyed reading chapters 11 and 12. The “episodic” structure covers a ton of ground character wise and is a bold formatting choice. It reminds me of Robert Altman’s Short Cuts in it’s style.
It was refreshing to see Izzy actually preparing and planning. Yes she got herself in a predicament on impulse, but she put her brain back in gear and made efforts to recover...even triumph. I love that she’s growing as a character and can take steps to take control of her own destiny.
It still seems she’s tied too much of that destiny to being with some idiot biggie, but we’re even starting to see her considering alternatives to that, visions of her independent and living on her own with her own business, in spite of how society has tried to program her.
I’m a little torn. It seems like Lisa has de-mystified and de-romanticised bonding for her and while I think she’s done her a huge favor by giving her a grounded perspective, she doesn’t get to find out for herself what all the fuss is about without now being influenced by Lisa’s more jaded point of view. I would never say ruined, but one of the rites of passage of this world has been made more mundane for her.
Still, I think she should be grateful. Izzy clearly has a hard-won huge intellect for one of her kind and a truly remarkable soul. She’s not really a heart-centered person it seems. She’s just been told she’s supposed to be her whole life...she may come to value love and romance, but she’s the type of person it’s much better for her to come there on her own, based on her own experiences, than to come there based on some “imposed norm.”
A lot of the characters who have been mostly obstacles for Izzy are getting to show us their perspective.
Izzy and dad together are still pure magic. I love seeing them have moments together. It’s so sweet and loving and they way they support each other...though Iggy does still fall into a lot of the traps of his kind, they have something so good and healthy. It’s one of the reasons I find the biggies of this reality so sucky... most would call his parenting completely wrong. And they’d say it because “she has no chance of fulfilling the dreams you’ve allowed her to have.”
As I’ve said, Izzy is not really a romantic...she just views things form her perspective and by her standards...which, yes, could be swept away by some cruel biggie at any moment.
She is strong and she is right, but she is so fragile in this world.
Gloria getting jealous doesn’t really endear me to her. Her jealousy is rooted in the fact she’s just viewing Izzy as a trophy here. Not a shining moment for the wanna be Mrs Iggy. Kinda wanna see her drowned in motor oil still.
Though Linda is still a hoot.
Sabrina... she’s is the prototype “intrusive biggie.” It’s all about what they want. And they just have to stick themselves in Izzy’s face....and her head it seems.
Okay, really, it’s pretty cool to see her trying to Izzy’s friend. I like how she’s being less arrogant...for a biggie...and more helpful. Points to the former big twerp.
That woman in Izzy’s “house”... that must be mom. God, what a sad yet sweet detail. You are a writer with a lot of heart. I really feel that image.
In chapter twelve we see Brenda, so sad and vulnerable. It’s like the girl who told that Winton punk off has been slapped across the nose with a rolled up newspaper and curled up in by her dish... I’m not really in love with the red haired menace, but she seems to have become a much less dynamic character.
“Shrinking” her and making her non-competitive takes some of the tension out of the story.
I’m not rooting for her...yet. I think the thing that keeps me from liking her, is not really her fault. My problem with her is she’s trying to work through feelings of guilt toward an empathic perspective...but she’s constantly getting the wrong kind of affirmation. Weather her gal pal is telling her there’s nothing wrong with forcing herself on Izzy or her mom is telling her she’s not responsible for her actions... She’s never going to grow into a enlightened, sympathetic character in this psycho world.
Though, I can see her trying...which is worth some pix points. (Pix points...you could try to collect ‘em all...but I save most of them for Izzy.)
It was a pretty stunning revelation that Mei was actually just being cocky when she proposed her contest... it makes her seem more interesting as a character that she can be not as smart as she thinks she is.
Not rooting for her though...too manipulative.
Mabel ... she’s like someone made a person to be a parody of biggies. Is there a hole to drop her in somewhere? You can have Sabby’s old title of big twerp. She’s not using it anymore.
“The Search????” More gawdawful televised biggie trash that exploits tinies? Really? Watch Deadwood ya morons. Watch Battlestar Galactica...something...anything but sucky “reality”shows ... we all know they’re scripted by now anyway.
Though Randalf might be useful to Izzy...hope hope.
It really feels like Izzy’s “specialness” has been slowly melting away as the mystique of the biggies has been similarly stripped from them. The problem is that, as they are revealed to be more alike, they can never be equals. I will miss the feeling that Izzy had some hidden potential ... something that would stun and surprise us and make all the biggies go Keanu Reeves “whoa.”
It seems she’s just an extraordinarily willful human being.
But that’s serving the story too. Now I’m really wondering how she’s going to do in the game she allowed herself to be made a prize in. If she has any chance of winning, could she actually win the respect of the stoopid biggies? It would be amazing to have her grin and claim her prize with a “now leave me alone until I say otherwise.” Tinies rule.
Thanks for giving us such a fascinating world occupied by such interesting characters. You have given us something of value and you should know it is appreciated.
Peace
pix
Author's Response:
Well thanks. I first experimented with this style back in a old story from MrSirk called "Tales of the New World" echo, echo, echo. Some people liked it. *shrug*.....don't read it, it's bad and unfinished.
I'm still saving a big moment for Izzy and bonding. It's kind of the climax of the story! We'll see what happens!
I like Iggy and Izzy's relationship too! My idea is they're both trying to fill Sheila's shoes for each other in a way. Izzy wants to take care of her pops and he wants to take care of her. I do feel that Iggy's kind of a pushover though, but that's probably because Izzy doesn't have the heart to take advantage of his relaxed parenting. She's responsible. That makes them both lucky!
Even Gloria's not immune to typical MAJOR socio-blah blah bullshit! I think she's trying though. Stories not really about her. She was really just an excuse to show why Sabrina was there. So was Linda for that matter. If Iggy were smart he would've wrangled him a threeway! Haha! I like Linda, but I honestly thought you'd hate her. She's just an overprotective mom who smothers her daughter. Sometimes literally!
It's a struggle to write Brenda sometimes. I don't want her to get away with what she did, but it's also hard to reprimand her. Power is what MAJORS understand and unfortunately (or fortunately) Brenda's at the top of the pile. That's just how MAJORS think. She can almost get away with anything. I compensate by making her punish herself more than society would. She still has a role. will she win this game?! All the odds are in her favor!
Someone has to be the typical MAJOR and I think Mabel does her job well. You should feel bad for her, She's joined s game she knows she can't win just to be included. I think that's both depressing and admirable in a way. I kinda want her to win. Uh oh! Darkhorse!
Uh other stuff but I feel I'm clocking out!
Thanks for the great review as always!
[Report This]Date: March 04 2018 2:12 PM Title: Chapter 1: A minor/Surprise
I don't have anything to whine about the content, so I just would like to thank you for the update!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the comment and not whining, but feel free to whine if you find something whine worthy!
[Report This]Date: March 02 2018 7:32 PM Title: Chapter 11: week/END
Izzy is going to need to channel her Batman level mind control to ward off the coming battles.
That said I commend you on the world within the world you've created, I know bonding is supposedly scary at times but the mind link universe does seem very cool if done right/with full agreement etc.
Author's Response:
Hey thank you for the praise. Bonding is scary for how terrifying and enjoyable it can be. It's also just an analogy for sex if it wasn't obvious enough.