[Report This]Date: October 15 2017 9:04 PM Title: Chapter 10 a slip of the tongue.
I think you're doing fine with it. The little battle he and Kylie had was good, strong but not enough to beat her and certainly not enought to beat Emily. The durable aspect is the most important part for me, Im not a big fan of the tinies winning.
Close call there being found by Emily, I dont think his luck will last much longer!
[Report This]Date: October 14 2017 8:28 PM Title: Chapter 9 dolled up and beat down.
Its just going to keep getting worse for Jason the more they realize how much they can pulverize him *weg*
Great stuff, keep going!
Author's Response:
Yeah. Right now I'm kind of playing with ideas on how "the power" works and what abilities it will grant. I am always open to ideas also. Glad you liked it.
[Report This]Date: October 11 2017 5:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
Mmmmm, why is this so good :)
[Report This]Date: October 10 2017 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 8 two heads aren't always better than one.
Looks like I am your only reviewer! Im not the only one enjoying this though, according to views, its been read 11,000 times, nice!
People should take the time to comment, not sure why they don't but youre doing great, very enjoyable so far.
Author's Response:
Yeah, who knows. I appreciate your feedback. I'm pretty happy with my first attempt at a story so far. I'll just keep going regardless until I burn up all my ideas or motivation. I've got a few more chapters already finished.
[Report This]Date: October 07 2017 8:51 PM Title: Chapter 7 lost the battle. . . And the war
Wow, great foot domination there, she really worked him over! If Kylie is being this rough, can't wait to see when Emily gets her hands on him.
Author's Response:
Thank you. I'm still kind of figuring out how I'm going to work the change of hands in a natural way, but look for it in the next few chapters.
[Report This]Date: October 05 2017 11:39 AM Title: Chapter 5 so close, yet so far away.
Oh its on now! Good job.
If you can stand just one more formatting comment, the story flows better when there is a new paragraph for each person speaking.
I love the story though. Kylie I think will just have fun with him, I think Emily will really want to dish out punishment, maybe worse.
Author's Response:
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you. I'm gonna try to implement that format and see how it works. I did notice it in other stories a little bit. I have a couple more chapters already written but after that I'm going to try it.
[Report This]Date: October 02 2017 7:38 PM Title: Chapter 4 hallway to hell, stairway to heaven.
Close call! Im dying for the action but I like how you put it off with the opening he had to escape during his sister confusion.
Whatever editing difficulties you had seem to have been worked out. Story was fine when I read it.
Date: October 02 2017 10:21 AM Title: Chapter 1
Sorry to be rude, but the story is extrmeely hard to read now that you've thrown formatting to the wind. In the first chapter, it was well formatted and spaced out, now its just a gigantic paragraph that morphs together and is extremely unpleasant to read. (Not to say the story isn't good, but that it kinda hurts my eyes to read it like that.)
Author's Response:
I feel you. I'm trying to figure out the system. Once I get the hang of the uploads I will try to fit it Better.
[Report This]Date: October 01 2017 9:13 PM Title: Chapter 1
Im liking the set up, tons of potential here. I love durable tinys in the hands of dominant women, so much fun to be had *weg*