Date: July 13 2017 8:27 PM Title: Dream Weaver
Good chapter, I liked it. To bad there wasn't a little buldge struggling in her tummy that she could have patted while moaning "Mmmmm". Hopefully I'll have such pleasant dreams.
There is one critisism and I hope you do not get upset that I state this. Especially in light of the fact I look forward to your postings of this story because I enjoy it so much.
My critisism, and I only speak for myself on this, is your word choice. I like reading a story that flows with simple verbage rather than a story where I have to stop to look up words such as "tenebrous", "verdant", "fuliginous", "corpulant" and "ebon".
My personal opinion is that your time would have been well spent on a quick proofread. Again, I really like your stories and hope you do not take my comments as insults; they are not meant to be. The story itself is fantastic.
I may not have the most expansive vocabluary of any of your readers; but isn't the main goal of writing that of successfully communicating?
I once asked a man a question using a bunch of fancy, $10 words I had learned. The man responded with one word, just that single word and I realized I was being such a pompus fool that in my arrogance I completely failed in even remotely asking a simple question and was left embarrassed for all to see. His responce: "What?"
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review DW, I appreciate the feedback as it help me understand how my words are being interpreted. No offense taken by any means. I once asked a man why he was trying to spend ten dollar words when he only had 2.50 in change in his pocket :)
[Report This]Date: July 12 2017 7:58 PM Title: Dream Weaver
Hopefully not a prophetic one.
Probably a gift from our killer. Gil said he saw her in dreams.
Hopefully the cocky murderess will let details slip in these little magical “teases” that slip a noose around her pretty neck.
So,shrinking people and dream walking...what other tricks does she have up her sleeve?
It’s pretty clear she wants to shred Abel’s mind. Her sadism is driving her to seek more “intimate” forms of cruelty. I’m really hoping she get’s very little from her attempts.
Nice interlude Duggernaut. Really getting into the supernatural feel of this.
Pix
Author's Response:
Great! I really wanted to break it up some and show off a little teaser.
[Report This]Date: July 12 2017 6:25 PM Title: Dream Weaver
Whoa, what a nice dream scene. I think that the mysterious Ms.Lily must've left a little somthun'-somthun' inside his apartment, with that fragrantly scented perfume,... some kind of little 'hint', as to what's going to be his future - if he continues to track her - the way that he is... Go for it, Joe! ;`)
Very nicely done, Dugger. So easy to picture her in that alley, I could almost feel the heat coming off of her tremendous body!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the props midnight, glad you approve!
Date: July 07 2017 12:19 PM Title: Second Contact
"I don’t doubt you would be quite a handful." HA HA HA HA HA HA HA One of the best and funniest foreshadowing lines I ever heard. {Also an assumption on my part}.
Hmmm, sounds like Gil is currently passing through Lily's bowels. Hopefully Lily will be sending Abel a photo tomorrow of her poop; perhaps tied up the exact same way Gil was in that first photo. Will Abel make the connection? Again, just guessing on my part.
This story is addicting; yet such a tease, it needs longer chapters. A+++++
Author's Response:
I love using that kind of language during the foreplay aspects of the story. Pretty plausible guess on your part.
[Report This]Date: July 06 2017 9:30 PM Title: Second Contact
Just discovered this and I must say, I had to drop a review! ;`) I'm really enjoying the suspense that you've got going here, I too, was kinda waiting for 'Mo's Story' but hell, man. This is some excellent writing, Dugger. My imagination is going crazy trying to figure out what this 'Lily' suspect' is all about, ...assuming that "it" is, a 'she' - and, she is 'somehow' shrinking her victims down and, ...well, there's that 'imagination' stirring again!
I really like the longer chapters and the characters, too. It feels like you're really building up to something incredibly special with this one. Looking forward to the next update!
Author's Response:
Thanks a bunch for taking the time to share a review midnight, much appreciated. My intent is to return to Mo once I wrap Tom's Story up.
[Report This]Date: July 06 2017 5:02 PM Title: Second Contact
Yep. I hate her.
Sadist suck in general, but Lilly is going for the royal suckage prize.
I'm sure his old phone's data and all got transferred over, but what if he'd gotten a new number? Might be a worthwhile experiment. She can't resist showing off, so if he can proceed with suffient caution (ie paranoia) he might just set an electronic trap for her. And blast the sick bitch out of her stockings.
Having a lot of fun with the mystery. Thanks Duggernaut.
pix
Author's Response:
Lol, that didn't take too long for you to form an opinion :)
Date: June 30 2017 10:36 AM Title: Contact
Tom Speedy
I like this story. I like it alot. But I have to agree with Tom. I really like and very much apprecaite your stories Duggernaut; but was extremely disappointed when "Bang Your Head... (Mo's Story)" and “Shoebox” got dropped to the way side. I would joy in reading the rest of "Cold Case"; yet am affraid it may take you away from your other fine works.
Hey I'm guilty of the exact same thing, even more so. I start things and never finish them, that's just who I am.
You also don't owe any of us anything, though we owe you our gratitude. It's just, rather than being left hanging of what could be, we all like a Happy Ending! {Ha Haaa}
Author's Response:
Thanks for the insight and all I can say is I haven't entirely abandoned most of my unfinished stories - currently revising Bang Your Head and stepped away from Shoebox trying to decide if I want to change the early dynamic of that story. I sometimes get ahead of myself. Please enjoy this one for what it is. :)
Date: June 30 2017 8:22 AM Title: Contact
Really interesting X-Files type story line. The fact that Lily is probably actually answering Abel's questions without him realizing it is a nice twist.
My only critical comment would be that neither Abel nor Tom admired what I hope is a Beautiful "smooth hairless vagina".
Lily? As in Lilith, Adam's first wife? You have put other religuous references in your story, so just curious.
Yet another excellent story by you. Thank you for writing these.
Author's Response:
Another clever catch, Lily, Lilith, Lilitu hmm one never knows.
Date: June 29 2017 9:02 PM Title: Cold Case
Oh my, another story. Tom teams up with the Omega Pi house to take this new story down. They don't want the attention diverted and now they will chant:
"Drop the case! Drop the case! Drop the case!"
Let see who is in this crowd today.
"Sir, why are you here?"
The name's Oliver. Although, I have quite a rough go in my situation, I cannot deny the adventure and I would love to continue it."
"Great answer. Let's see, ah, another lad. Why are you protesting this new story?"
My name is Cam and I need help in my story. Please, if anyone is out there, I'm shrunken and held hostage at a sorority....."
"Ok, then. I think that's enough for now. .... Wait! Is that who I think it is? It is! It's TomSpeedy, CEO of the Tom's story fanclub! Hurry!
"Sir, big fan. Can you tell me why you are protesting the story of your favorite author on this website?"
"Hmm. Good question. While I'm sure you know I'm a busy man, I can without a doubt answer your question accordingly. You see, I run very large business, and I got quite the package. (Winks at camera with deadly smile.) I promote what the people want, and the people love little Tom being passed on by woman to woman. They also love sorority houses that keep a big secret. Last thing we want is a case that can go against us. We don't want this cold case, we want it hot. Hot and sexy. Just the way I like it."
"And there you have it folks, TomSpeedy, here rooting against this case."
"Make sure you check out Tom's story and Omega Pi before Mr. Speedy puts you on his naughty list. (Whispers) I hope I make it."
This is Valerie Melper reporting live at Duggernaut studios.
Author's Response:
Don't frewt Tom, Tom still has a few chapter to go before I wrap it up and I am having way too much fun with Omega - summer time my updates lag. don't lose hope!
[Report This]Date: June 29 2017 6:01 PM Title: Contact
Someone likes to play games.
Taunting the authorities is a bad sign. Especially if you commit your crimes while doing so. This type tends to think they're pretty smart and sometimes escalates when they get into a "challenge phase."
The problem is that when you're assigned to deal with one of these, you feel responsible for everyone they take while it's "your problem." And the perp gets a sadistic thrill from the pain they're causing you. No wonder Gil was a burnout.
The fact she's visiting Gil's house could be a sign she wants to know about the FBI's case. I could also be a distraction. Is she getting the info she seeks while they're looking for Gil?
I'm intrigued Duggernaut. Thanks for sharing this.
pix
Author's Response:
As always, thanks for the read and review Pix. It's all downhill from here
[Report This]Date: June 29 2017 5:48 PM Title: Cold Case
Are the pale amber beads a pink arm band or a mantle being passed?
Well now, I love a mystery. I gotta wonder what this lady's trip is. What links the victims? How do they know the cases are connected? Is there a victim profile? Must learn more....
Disappearances can be the most frustrating cases for a detective to work. I hope Able has the emotional and intellectual endurance to see this through.
Really curious how this will go Duggernaut. Glad to see your work.
pix
Author's Response:
Pink arm bands? Glass beads, hmm, coincidence? Maybe. Just part of the spectacle! We'll see how grounded Abel is