You have an interesting and somewhat unusual story here, but there is something that becomes very noticeable before too long: You desperately need a proof reader to catch all the mis-keying. That is something that can become very irritating after only a short period of reading. Not only is it unprofessional, but sometimes it can lead to a reader asking "What the hell is he/she saying here?" when a misspelling turns into another real word with a completelly opposite meaning. The easiest proof-reading is to reread what you've written, correcting your mistakes yourself.

Sounds interesting. Looking forward to the first chapter