[Report This]Date: May 21 2020 9:43 PM Title: Chapter 16: Play
Quarantine is the only thing that reminded you this story exists :-: that makes me a little sad because I literally wait on this story with baited breath. (Also I feel guilty for never finishing my own stories which is why I've stuck to one shots every 365 days)
I hope you plan to tell us more about the "Old Lands" and how exactly the tomkins got here. I'm also curious, the tomkins are undeniably medieval, I had assumed the humans of this world were also at leas medieval up until the war when shit started going downhill. (Like you know, how every time an "apocalypic event" is predicted and all of the modern world frets about being forced back into the pioneer days. Or in plain English "they aren't primitives, but circumstances dictate they have to live that way".
Also I'm inclined to conclude that the reason humans and tomkins can't talk to each other is because the humans saw it as much good as talking to a cow, "you're halfwitted at best and also food so nothing you have to say would be of use to me". OH. OH WAIT. OOH. Ok so a couple chapters back Teagan learns the word for sword is "gladdui" and can't think of an english equivalent. ... "gladiator"? I mean I know the answer is going to be "OH MY GOD YOU STUPID BITCH I'M WRITING PORN CALM DOWN" but I just want to know more about tomkins. They speak a latin-like language, apparently use Roman-like ranks in militia (yah I looked up if "Legate" was a real word) BUILD YOUR WORLD, BUILD IT HIGH BBY.
.... I'm sorry I'm spamming you with reviews ...and that they're all from me.
Author's Response:
Sad as it is, it's true - I just haven't had the time to sit down for a few hours and type away for a while. Now there are actually times when I have nothing to do, and well, about a week ago, I suddenly decided to spend half an hour guessing my password so I could continue writing a story I left unfinished for ~4 years. Oh, and about the reviews - don't be sorry! I'm super happy that you're invested in the plot! I definitely think about it first, and then add the other bits as an afterthought - "oh, yeah, people come here to get their kicks, welp, better add a few sentences about sadistic/deranged/sexy/vorey/all of the abovey stuff" (not to imply that I'm not also into it). As for real world references, yeah, I'm not creative enough to invent an entirely new civilization, so I more or less stole the tomkin language from Latin as a whole, and took a general inspiration from later Greco-Roman culture as a whole for them like the discount wannabe historian I am.
Of course, if I'm being honest, I also used the language barrier thing as a way to avoid having to write dialogue, which, in 2016 (when I may or may not have been old enough to actually use this site), I was very awkward at, trying waaayyy too hard to give every character a unique voice and struggling helplessly in the process. Looking at my older chapters and comparing them to my newer ones, whew, I'm kinda glad I made that choice.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2020 7:31 PM Title: Chapter 16: Play
ok i haven't read it yet but I gotta say "holy fuck, two updates in a week, is it Christmas already?!" (... I hope not, where I live the snow's been gone for... maybe a month?)
[Report This]Date: May 19 2020 8:09 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
WAIT A MINUTE, I GOT IT. Magic exists in this world as an accepted, if difficult to manipulate, force. Is it possible that some people hit the genetic jackpot and are born with a fuckton of mana (that they might not even be aware of), which, like adrenaline in normal bodies manifests and expresses in stressful or endangering situations?
... Sorry if I potentially ruined a plot twist, I just find it more plausible than something like "lol Teagan wasn't human at all/is a demihuman (like dovahkiin)"
Your worldbuilding is solid, at least to me. And, as it is with many sci-fi/fantasy series, sparks a burning itch. Where did the tomkins come from? They're referred to as "human", is human just a catch-all term for "bipedal hairless ape-creature"? Tomkins are called "invaders", but of what sort, "from another star" style, or "Vikings are on our shore, surrender or die" style? I'd wage the former, given that they're clearly not cut out for the world they inhabit (unlike small animals who rarely survive to maturity and only survive at all by breeding like crazy, tomkins don't seem to do this) and overtook humans by sheer luck and overconfidence of humans (much like the emu war, or the sinking of the titanic). I know Firkon's just a prejudiced motherfucker, but how is using humans as slaves even efficent, considering tomkins consider them lackwitted at best (with a language that's only "grunts and growls"), so apparently no tomkin prior to Sihil has attempted to breach the language barrier (or done so and lived).
Oh. And I'm gonna guess the creepy guy Teagun had to murder's boss was gonna use her as a rape slave. Glad to know even during the apocalypse there are still self serving assholes.
Author's Response:
A perfect guess! After reading the first few chapters, I realized that Teagan was definitely doing inconsistently well compared the rest of humanity, and it made it seem implausible that the tomkins could actually go about their whole conquering humanity business, so I had to think up a way to justify Teagan's against-the-odds survival of every encounter. It's in the next chapter, so no plot twists ruined, but I'm pretty impressed that you guessed that perfectly!
As far as the worldbuilding and such goes, I didn't really have an idea for that when I first started writing, but I definitely can confirm that the tomkins are from a wholly separate world. Oh, and for the war and all that, my idea was basically just that the tomkins won through sheer numerical superiority, although human overconfidence and inexperience definitely would have contributed to their defeat. I would go on to talk about the slave thing, but that's coming up ;)
I didn't really have a concrete idea for the thug's motivations as far as kidnapping Teagan, but given the general unsavory nature of his character, it's not at all unlikely that his boss is any different. As hateable as they are, you gotta love self serving assholes for being great punching bags - perfect for guilt free murder!
[Report This]Date: May 17 2020 4:47 PM Title: Chapter 15: Questioning
;-; I liked Al Valizi and wanted him to live WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
Anyway I'm like not even questioning Teagan's weird power at this point "alright then, well I guess consisting almost entirely off tomkin meat imbues you with their life force or something"
Author's Response:
I think I wanted to keep Al-Valizi alive when I first introduced him, but when I thought about it when writing this chapter, y'know, what better way to continually ruin Sihil's life and make her feel terrible than to kill off anyone she likes ;)
Date: November 06 2019 7:54 AM Title: Chapter 14: Lust
I have a question. What exactly is the lifespan of a tomkin (excluding those eaten, crushed, shot with crossbow bolts, dead from illness...)
Author's Response:
I'd say roughly around 20-ish years, although in a world as harsh and alien as ours is to them, the average is far, far lower.
Date: June 17 2019 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I was deleting a few repeats of a chapter and it seems that a review was lost... just know that I did read it and I greatly appreciate the support ^^
Date: October 13 2018 2:29 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
Reading how only one woman tramples large squads of tokens, it is also very difficult for me to believe that they could conquer someone by fighting head-on. But if they used a fast-acting poison, and some giants, having been ill, were able to acquire immunity, how about that?
Date: February 13 2018 7:32 PM Title: Chapter 10: Power
My old tablet broke too. Stupid thing wouldn't charge for the life of me. I was so pissed. I hope you get yours fix or get a new one.
"Her footprints were visible to all but a blind man, which made her easy to track,"
I like that line a lot. A unique way to describe a giantess's footprint. You have a way with describing things cleverly. I found Laeron's assumption about Taegan being ugly was amusing. Sounds like he had his fair share of rumors about the humans.
The creature was very chiling. I did not expect it to be a sapient being. I wasn't sure what its intentions were for Teagan especially with how reassuring it had sound one moment and how frustrated in was another, even growling.
This is such a great story and I'm so glad you came back to it.
Author's Response:
miss u ;(
[Report This]Date: February 11 2018 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 9: Bonds
Really loving how the Sihil Teagan relationship is developing. Its very different to see this type of character development occur without any dialog due to the language barrier. As an aspiring writer who's always had the biggest issue with dialog I might need to borrow this trope for my own story! I think you have done a great job describing Teagan as a sexy destructive giantess while making her feel like a real person due to the scenario you set up with the differnt races. I continue to root for her feelings to flourish for Sihil as well as for her to crush and defeat Firkon once and for all.
Author's Response:
Thanks! As someone who also struggled with dialogue, I can certainly say that actions are far more powerful than words, and a language barrier can certainly make that aspect of a story shine. If it helps you write, go for it!
Date: February 09 2018 10:58 PM Title: Chapter 9: Bonds
We are starting to see more of Teagan's struggle with the Tomkins. If Sihil didn't act, she would be done in by the tower siege and now Teagan might have to fight for her life against this beast the Tomkins mentioned. To make matters worse, Firkon still wants her dead. You really put a lot of tension in just one chapter. Good job!
Author's Response:
Thanks! Although the beast sadly doesn't play too large of a role right now, rest assured that it isn't done with Teagan yet. As for Firkon, while his efforts are noble, the result of him fighting Teagan is generally a draw at best. Perhaps we'll see him gain an ally a bit more competent, who knows?
Date: January 28 2018 11:33 AM Title: Chapter 7: Challenge
Who needs an army when you got a sexy bloodthirsty giantess, am I right? ;) Another great chapter. Really loving this story.
Author's Response:
Thanks! An army is tough to beat, but a giantess can sure do the trick.
Date: January 25 2018 12:44 PM Title: Chapter 7: Challenge
I want Teagan and Sihil to learn eachother's language and fall in love, then the two of them lead the remaining free giants and maybe some slaves to teach the uppity tomkins their place. love the story, cant wait for more!
Author's Response:
Thanks! That's definitely a possibility, and I find myself heading there with every chapter :-)
[Report This]Date: January 23 2018 5:52 PM Title: Chapter 7: Challenge
I am loving this story. It reminds me of another story on this site with the fun heavy plot and some fun on the side.
Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying the story! I try to make my plot a bit more complex than the norm, and I'm happy to hear that I'm not alone in doing this.
Date: January 23 2018 10:18 AM Title: Chapter 7: Challenge
Im having fun with this story altho i find it hard to believe that the tomkins conquered the humans when a well equipped group of trained soldiers was defeated by one woman.
Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that you like the story. The premise behind the tomkin victory is really that the humans didn't at first know how to combat the tomkins, and by the time they did, they were hopelessly outnumbered. I can definitely see where you're coming from, however, and I'll do my best to improve upon that aspect of the story!
Date: January 18 2018 11:45 PM Title: Chapter 6: Vulnerability
Wow! I love this story, its got all the fun stuff, an interesting role reversal with the giants being the victims of a tiny empire, plus the potential for a fluffy friendship or romance with one of the tinies, even though the main character is perfectly alright swallowing anyone else whole, I love it! I hope you update again soon <3
Author's Response: Thanks! Both of those are possibilities, and I'll try to update somewhat regularly.
Date: January 18 2018 1:02 AM Title: Chapter 5: Apprehension
I'm glad you decided to update! This is a really good story. The way Teagan cruelly destroyed the village and devoured the Tomkins and used them for pleasure was sexy. The whole stories' concept is unique in itself since the Tomkins are not actually helpless and are the reason Teagan treats them so cruelly.
I'm shocked she had mercy on Sihil and I hope the two of them could somehow become friends later on in the story although with everything Teagan has done, I can't imagine them becoming friends to be that easy.
Author's Response: Thank you! I somewhat dislike stories where the giantess in question causes destruction for destruction's sake, and wanted to give Teagan, and the rest of humanity, a reason to fear and loathe the tomkins. As for Sihil and Teagan befriending each other, while it's certainly a possibility, it would most likely take a long time for Sihil to feel even remotely comfortable around Teagan, and it would also most likely take Teagan a long time to abandon the hatred of tomkins that is so strongly engrained in her personality. In any case, I appreciate the positive feedback, and I'm overall pleased that I returned to continue writing this. Cheers!
Date: March 11 2017 10:15 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
Please keep it up! This story is awesome!
Author's Response:
Thanks, I appreciate the positive feedback :-)
[Report This]Date: March 10 2017 5:19 PM Title: Chapter 4: Pleasure
You did it spectacular! I'm encouraging you to carry on writing this awesome story and in general, you're definitely talented!
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm new to the whole genre (GTS, erotica, however you want to interpret it) so I really appreciate the feedback and the rating :-)
Date: March 05 2017 11:22 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I think your doing pretty well. Honestly you uploaded two chapters, one was short and one was long. It's also hard posting anything because the internet is full of well rude people.
Author's Response: Thanks. The first chapter was really sort of an introduction, so most of the other chapters will be closer in length to chapter 2, probably even longer.
Date: March 05 2017 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I wouldn't say that this writing is "shit." You've aroused my interest, and you have a good writing style.
Don't knock yourself.
Just make your chapters longer.
Author's Response:
Thanks, although that little bit at the end was mostly in jest. I'll definitely make future chapters more lengthy. I appreciate the feedback quite a bit. Cheers!