Date: March 12 2017 8:57 PM Title: Shattered Reality
If your going to put out a chapter once a week,don't make it so boring and slow.So many people will write a story that's drawn out where you lose enteress or write a couple of lines promising a hot mouth watering story but never going beyond those few lines. A chapter a week needs to have more then getting out of bed an to your sister's room so far I'm sorry but it's way to slow! I can't rate the story because it's not a story yet' I hope you do keep writing because you do have talent
Author's Response:
Thank you for giving me some criticism on my writing. I do agree that the pacing of action in chapter 1 and 2 is fairly slow and is something I am working on. Now adressing the lack of "hot mouth watering story", my intent is for David's life is to progressivly change for the worse so action will increase with most chapters.
[Report This]Date: March 05 2017 4:16 PM Title: Shattered Reality
Nice, I really enjoy this kind of familiar stories so I'm looking forward to the next chapters. I think this one was pretty good, I liked the content.
[Report This]Date: March 04 2017 5:51 PM Title: Family(Intro)
Awesome second chapter! I love the perspective change from David's point of view than to the family members. Makes his plight that much crueler knowing the most normal thing for his sisters has a titanic effect on him.
Author's Response:
I'm glad that you have enjoyed the story so far. Any and all feedback helps me greatly while also inspiring me. While writing this chapter however it uncovered some facts for me to contemplate. In this I was able to rethink what I wanted to achieve with this story. It also forced me to adapt my writing to best suit this story. When I post the chapter one rework the chapter and story notes will be changed to show the new vision of the story.
I thank you for your time in giving me feedback zbh.
Sincerely,
Lexander
[Report This]Date: February 18 2017 5:14 PM Title: Family(Intro)
Good start. Interested in seeing where this goes from here. Would love to make requests in the fetish content but needs to see what happens in the next chapter first tho. Does he shrink?transform? What size? How durable etc. However will save I love foot torture, especially unaware for awhile than they realize they have been torturing the shrunken person with there feet without knowing :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the early review, I know the first Chapter is a bit bare. I just wanted to get a start to the story, it also gives me more of a reason to write chapters. You will denfinity see more information about the state of the Davids body in the upcoming chapters.
Sincerly,
Lexander