Reviewer: psychotropic Signed [Report This]
Date: September 27 2016 11:40 PM Title: Prologue

I love this story, especially the curveball thrown in this most recent chapter!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 27 2016 5:06 PM Title: Chapter 10

   Woah, ...Bogus, when you get in the "moment" and really focus, and everything around you fades into nothingness; your writing takes off like a bat out of hell!

  Damn, I wish that I could have stayed down there on Alice's bedroom floor, and just wondered around in that enormous, gigantic, environment; your description's -  I wanted that to just go on forever...

  I strive for that same thing, but it doesn't come as easily as you make it appear!

 

Reviewer: Bananaman1 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 25 2016 12:05 PM Title: Prologue

Been meaning to review. Great story here. The characters have been very well described and it's easy to picture them. Glad to see the "smut" aspect is starting to pick up

Also, I haven't spotted any grammar errors so far, so props to you :)

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 23 2016 6:19 PM Title: Chapter 9

  Simply Awesome descriptions from the miniaturized perspective!  Loved it!  I felt so enraptured, as I slowly fell into Lou's world, down on the floor of their apartment, ...simply awesome, so realistic...

   Even her overwhelming fear, consuming her, and compelling her to run away, only she was too petrified to even move a single muscle; your portrayal of her maiden experience couldn't be too far off.  Makes me second guess the ideas that linger within my own fantasies.

   Your writing style and your perfectly selected vocabulary intricately well versed for this type of fantasy.  

   ...if you keep this up, I'm going to put you on my favorites list! 

 

 

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 21 2016 5:33 PM Title: Chapter 8

I still think that it was a great chapter, ...although, you may have tried to jam too much action into it.  Also, the idea of Lou actually shrinking herself willingly  was a bit over the top...

  ...if she had never before restored anyone then, maybe upon doing it for the first time, she would have 'unexpectedly' shrunk herself in the act of doing so?  You Know?  Something like that would have been a bit more comprehensible...

Lou just doesn't seem to be the type to bend so easily, but if she always had the desire to be Alice's toy, then it doe's 'However' make a lot of sense!

  So, don't get me wrong, I still think it's very good!  

Author's Response:

I agree entirely - it's not quite believable enough to be workable. I'm happy with the series of events and progression, but even as I was reading it, I could sense the poor pacing and how "squished" everything was. I think the solution would be to stretch the action out into two chapters so it doesn't feel quite so rushed.

Thank you very much for your criticism. I think I know exactly I need to do when I go back over this, but I'll move forwards to completion before I attempt any rewriting.

Reviewer: Moti0n Signed [Report This]
Date: September 21 2016 3:27 PM Title: Chapter 8

Oooooo, can't wait for more ^_^

Reviewer: thejoker2445 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 21 2016 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 8

I like your writing style. Just wish there isn't gonna be a happy ending for Emma /:

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 18 2016 9:20 PM Title: Chapter 6

Well, it seems that Lou is becoming quite the complicated character, her hatred, and despicable personality doesn't seem to be a problem for Alice, just everyone else that happens to fall into her sights. I wonder what her plan is?  This Mark guy, ...is just another victim that she has so 'seemingly'  at random, just selected?  Although, for what reason?  To put him with Emma? Or ...for Alice to become more involved with so that she will become less interested in Emma?

...h'm?   I wonder how Alice has survived for so long without getting "smallified " by Lous empowering 'special ability' ?  Maybe, she's immune to her stuff?  

Next chapter, Emma, Mark, and Alice are sitting inside of Lou's night table drawer, waiting for her to wake up, and let them out...    LoL!    ;.)

 

Reviewer: AdamX Signed [Report This]
Date: September 18 2016 3:01 PM Title: Chapter 6

Sadness for Lou, you've turned things around a little in her favor. Still rooting for Emma to survive but it explains how she got to where she is nicely.

Reviewer: AdamX Signed [Report This]
Date: September 15 2016 5:56 PM Title: Chapter 4

Great chapter, I am kind of rooting for Alice/Emma here but realize this wouldn't be Giantessplanet without a little mayhem.