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Reviewer: GiantessLover122 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 21 2016 8:15 PM Title: Chapter 1

Lacks details, like @meereten01 said. Seems extremely choppy in many places and I found it difficult to follow the storyline as it progressed.

Reviewer: meereten01 Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: August 21 2016 7:48 PM Title: Chapter 1

Hi,

Nice first try for a story.

I think the story is lacking some detail.

For example, you say she walks from point x to point y with a person in her shoe, you imagine all kinds of things we don't. Try to describe those things in detail and the story would be much better I think.



Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

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