Date: July 09 2016 10:28 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Please Continue!
[Report This]Date: June 28 2016 11:39 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
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[Report This]Date: June 27 2016 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 4: A Budding Interest
Okay, a few issues.
One- paragraphs. Whenever dialogue switches speakers, a new paragraph MUST be started, no matter the length. This is why you occasionally see two or three word dialogues in separate paragraph in professional writing. You must also start a new paragraph for various other reasons, please look them up. I had to do this myself, and it made my writing much better, although it probably won't be reflected on giantessworld.
Two- again with paragraphs. Just moving something like "She quickly stood up" to the next paragraph makes it MUCH easier to comprehend.
Three- what about the first time he was held? It would have been very bumpy, as no one can hold their hand perfectly level and not moving slightly. Matt would have most likely experienced movement similar to earthquakes the first time he was held.
Despite these things, I really enjoyed the story so far! It looks very promising, and I am anticipating another chapter soon! Keep up the good work, and always strive to write better!
Date: June 27 2016 3:15 PM Title: Chapter 4: A Budding Interest
Thank you for adding two chapters! I like the developement of your story. Please continue!
Date: June 25 2016 6:25 PM Title: Chapter 2: A fun night
Great setup so far, I'm looking forward to more soon!
Author's Response:
Thank you! It's coming very very soon :)
[Report This]Date: June 25 2016 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 2: A fun night
And the fun begins :) looking forward to more, kingpenguin.
Author's Response:
Yup the fun began! Also thank you so much for your advice on how to format the dialogue lines. I was looking for a way to format them and your way of formatting made sense to me :)
[Report This]Date: June 25 2016 9:28 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Excited to read more. Great start!
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: June 25 2016 9:23 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
A good start. Sets the stage for Matt and Sara, and I am curious as to how the other two will fit into the mix.
My only advice would be to watch formatting- it's a bit jarring to read at times and keep characters straight. I like to space out dialogue lines in my own writing.
Date: June 25 2016 8:36 AM Title: Chapter 2: A fun night
Very promising start. Looking forward to the next chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you! The next chapters are coming very soon :)
[Report This]Date: June 25 2016 7:10 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
I am liking it so far. I think you've done a pretty good job with character development as well. As for the shrinking, I think it's up to you. I personally like instant shrinking because it gets right into the action but slow shrinking probably helps with plot and development, so I think it's up to you.
Author's Response:
Thanks for your words and ideas! Indeed, I decided to go with instant shrinking in this story and saving slow-shrinking to a possible future story.
[Report This]Date: June 25 2016 4:12 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Very curious to read more.
Author's Response:
Thank you!