Date: June 29 2020 12:03 PM Title: Make-Out
This chapter, especially the part from "Thanks for the help cutie" to "just to be sure", is literally one of the most arousing things I've ever read.
And I completely agree with Slacker28's review of the final chapter.
Jacksmith, you are an amazing writer.
Author's Response:
Much appreciated; thanks for reading/reviewing.
Date: August 03 2016 9:35 AM Title: Climax
Thanks for making this more sexual, I like these gentle almost maternal romances. But serously when you make a title called climax my mind started to come up with things. I hope you go further with sexyness as well as contune with Omega: inharentence, I want to find out what happended with the sisters.
Author's Response:
I'm guessing a lot of people thought I was going somewhere different based on that chapter title. And I will show the characters from Inheritance again someday.
Date: August 02 2016 9:16 PM Title: Climax
I loved the imagery of Jack on the incomprehensible land mass of Claire's hand. And the last lesson was very powerful. Nice idea to end with a reminder for Ashley of what it's like to be small and vulnerable.
Great story overall. As I said before, my only disappointment was that certain lessons weren't longer (or in less classy language, I was hoping for more boobs and mouthplay). But that's just personal taste. The fact that I was clamoring for more shows that this was well written and quite enjoyable. This was a very unique concept for a story and I enjoyed the ride.
Author's Response:
Thanks man. I've been trying to increase my variety in stories, inch by inch. Glad to hear you still liked it.
[Report This]Date: August 02 2016 5:22 PM Title: Climax
Interesting. Ashley still fears Claire. This friendship/trust she had with Claire, Jenna and Melody is gone.
It is good she is close with Jack. Now she needs her own Alpha sized home to give her back some self worth.
Author's Response:
I'm not sure I'd say she quite fears her, but she definitely has an even fuller understanding now of what happened between her and Jack, and subsequently her sister, Claire, and Jenna, two years back.
[Report This]Date: August 02 2016 4:40 PM Title: Climax
Ironically suitable title for this concluding chapter. Ironic in that there was no carnal sex as most lurkers no doubt automatically assumed. And, yet, suitable in that not _only_ is this the concluding chapter. But, in concluding, it leaves the hopelessly old-fashioned romantics (like me) feeling satisfied that Jack and Ashley will _most definitely_ live happily ever after.
Author's Response:
Hehe. I probably did mislead a few people with the title. Hopefully it was still satisfying for most.
[Report This]Date: July 27 2016 4:30 AM Title: Make-Out
Nice chapter! Question though. I thought a Beta was considered to be 3 inches compared to an Alpha, just as an Alpha was 3 'inches' compared to an Omega, relatively speaking.
Three inches seems like a lot to have in one's mouth. So Claire's comment of 'don't let him near your teeth' seems impossible. At a height of 3 inches, it seems some part of his body would be touching her teeth at all times, at least the inside of her teeth.
Unfortunately, I don't have a 3 inch scale figure to test this with. :)
Author's Response:
You're right, they're roughly 3 inches. I probably could've worded some of that dialogue a little differently. The main idea is to avoid letting him spill too far over her teeth; inevitably, he'll bump on her teeth a bit while inside. It's more of a stretch for the imagery than anything else, and also the fact that this is a pretty large Alpha (Ashley's over six foot) while Jack is on the smaller side for a Beta his age.
Date: July 26 2016 9:17 PM Title: Make-Out
Awesome! I loved the imagery of Sean being slurped up like spaghetti and Claire's tongue easily lapping up his escaping hands. The descriptions of Jack's experiences inside Ashley's mouth were nicely done as well. I could picture the changing light sources and the constant movement.
I'm trying to recall just how small Betas are. Shouldn't Claire have mentioned to keep him close to the front of the mouth so that Ashley doesn't choke on him or accidentally swallow him in the throes of passion?
By the way, I hope my previous reviews didn't sound too critical. There were things I was hoping to see more of but hey, it's not my story. You should focus on the stuff that inspires you.
Author's Response:
Betas are roughly three inches or less. You're right that this is a concern for him to go too far back, though both probably understand this is something Ashley will just have to be able to feel out for herself. He would most likely be tricky to swallow on accident.
Nah, you're good. I appreciate your commentary.
[Report This]Date: July 26 2016 7:05 AM Title: Make-Out
"If she keeps her cheeks close together..."
I'm probably reading too much into it. But, that sounded a lot like foreshadowing to me. ;-)
Author's Response:
Heh. Claire's probably not going to quiiite those kinds of embarrassing lengths today.
Date: July 20 2016 7:46 PM Title: Girls
Loved this chapter, very sexy. Always nice for a tiny to get some quality time with the "mountains." Only downside for me was that this exercise was a bit shorter than the foot-focused one. Still, it looks like mouth play, my favorite scenario, is up next! Huzzah!
Author's Response:
Thanks much. I'm not real accustomed to writing about the mountains, so I ended up writing this segment a little shorter. Hope the next one delivers.
[Report This]Date: July 18 2016 7:01 PM Title: Girls
I'll bet The Boys are literally salivating at the prospect of how they're going to get bathed. ;-)
Author's Response:
And maybe more than salivating...
Date: July 10 2016 10:01 PM Title: Tuck
I have to admit, I kind of checked out a little on the foot-focused chapters. They were well-written but that's never been my favorite aspect of the fetish (though I've come to appreciate it more over the years). This next exercise looks more my speed however so I'm very interested to see how this goes. Will Claire give them a closer view as she demonstrates? Omega-sized cleavage would probably look like the Grand Canyon on Jack's scale.
Author's Response:
Thanks man. Hopefully you like what's to come.
[Report This]Date: July 10 2016 1:55 PM Title: Tuck
To paraphrase an old love song from the Sixties: "Her cups runneth o-o-over with...JAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"
Author's Response:
Sounds more or less like a quotation.
Date: July 07 2016 6:24 PM Title: Meeting
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[Report This]Date: July 04 2016 7:31 PM Title: Walkabout
When you walk on hot coals, you think your feet are going to burn, but a trick of physics prevents it from happening. I suspect a similar trick is at play here!
Author's Response:
Not at all a bad way to imagine it. Plus, with just a little bit of plot-device logic-less magic included. ;)
[Report This]Date: July 04 2016 6:29 AM Title: Walkabout
It's nice to know that Jack and Ashley's marriage will be starting off on the...right foot. ;-D
Happy 4th, dude!
Author's Response:
The same to you.
[Report This]Date: June 30 2016 6:32 AM Title: Closer
Heh! It sounds like JACK is ready to be OFF.
;-)
Author's Response:
...probably a fair assessment.
Date: June 30 2016 6:26 AM Title: Toeprint
Face it, Dr. Frankenstein. You've created a punster. ;-)
Date: June 27 2016 10:13 PM Title: Toeprint
It's been months since I last read one of these Omega books (sorry; Hostage was alright, but I totally lost track of it around the second or third chapter). Claire doesn'g have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) yet still, right?
This story is giving me Nana to Kaoru vibes, except instead of human S&M, it's foot crush S&M with tiny people (or giant people).
Author's Response:
Claire's boyfriend is actually the guy she has down in her shoe. They've been together roughly a couple of years by this point. Thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: June 26 2016 9:00 PM Title: Toeprint
I'm "shoe" that Jack and Ashley will do just fine. ;-D
Author's Response:
"Shoe" for "sure?" C'mon, Cary, you're better than this.
Date: June 23 2016 8:21 PM Title: Meeting
So excited. Seriously, great job, I'm sure you have many waiting to read every new addition :).
Author's Response: Thanks! There will be more to come soon.