[Report This]Date: April 04 2016 2:51 PM Title: Search for Supplies
I always liked the gureilla style post aplocolyptic genre. I'm drawn in. The chapters aren't super long but they are descriptive enough to hold my interest and you update fairly frequently. I hope you don't lose motivation to continue to do so or have real life pull you away but it tis what it is. Thanks for writing.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback and compliments!
Date: April 03 2016 2:37 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
I've added a Surviving With The Giants inspired image to my Deviantart page. There's a link to my page on my Giantess World profile page. You can easily find the image in my gallery on Deviantart.
Author's Response: Wow man. That is great! You've got some real skill there, and it's pretty similar to what I was envisioning. Wonderful job on it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story enough to make something like this! Sorry for not publishing a chapter recently. I've been watching some stuff and I haven't had any really good ideas yet. Again, great job and thank you!
[Report This]Date: April 02 2016 9:02 AM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
As to the 'how would the reader know they were aliens', I might have left it up to 'who the hell knows where they came from?'and not defined it at all.
Is it an experment? An accident? Are they aliens? Are they from another dimension? The author himself probably doesnt know - the aliens just might be a guess on his part.
But it's a well done story so far - a Mad Max/Walking Dead with massive feet. Interesting.
Author's Response: That's a good idea. I probably should have done that instead. Thanks for the feedback!
Date: April 01 2016 3:22 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
In terms of being repetitive, you can reinforce an idea in different places, that's for sure. But the key is maybe not doing it blatantly. My example was you saying pretty much the same thing very next sentence.
I'm tempted to do some Surviving With The Giants inspired renders in Daz3d. Any reference images you want to provide would be welcome You can contact me by visiting my profile page on here and e-mailing me. Or you can find me on Deviantart.
Author's Response: Yeah, pretty poor move on my part. No need to write that sentence twice. :/ As for the renders, I'm glad you're interested enough in the story to consider something like that. Unfortunately, I have no reference pictures for you and I'm not a skilled artist at all. You could make it however you want. There aren't many details in the story about looks, so you could make them however you wanted. The only thing I really described was clothes. In the next chapter I was going to talk a little about looks but since I'm kinda vague with details you could really make the refer however you wanted.
Date: April 01 2016 12:02 AM Title: Strangers...Close Strangers
That was a fun chapter. However I felt you repeated yourself when you started comparing them to other sorts of aliens. In particular here (since you say they're so much worse twice):
These ones, they're much worse.
Our aliens, the giant women, they're so much worse than the little green men.
Author's Response: Yeah, that is pretty repetitive. Whoops. Though I isles ya learned that if something is repeated it means it's emphasized or important. Probably not the the case here, though. :P
Date: March 31 2016 7:45 PM Title: Strangers...Close Strangers
I like this story, kind of wished we would have scenes of direct interaction with the giantesses but your style does give this more of a survival feel. I do wonder how the giantess queen would survive if her height is in measured in miles.
Author's Response: Well, hey, they're aliens, right? I don't know how she'd survive either, I just wanted her to be really big. Thanks for the compliments.
[Report This]Date: March 31 2016 7:40 PM Title: Strangers...Close Strangers
I'm going to be honest. I was turned off from this story because the description was kinda... light on detail and not very compelling. I thought the story would have been written in a way that I wouldn't have enjoyed. (note: I'm not exactly big on the fetish parts of most stories, because my tastes differ from a lot of people here (not exactly big on feet, lesbians or unaware shrinking, which combined is like 80% of the stories here)). Because of that, I need a story that's exceptionally written to get into the stories that do focus on the parts that I don't care for.
Thankfully, out of curiosity, I just decided to read it, and OH MY GOD, this story is a whole lot better than I expected. I really enjoyed the world you built, and the suspense you've built by leaving out quite a few details about the giants. I look forward to the rest.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
[Report This]Date: March 31 2016 6:22 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
great work so far. I hope he does come in contact with the toes.
Author's Response: Thanks! I was planning on doing something with them in the future, but I'm not sure when or what yet.
Date: March 30 2016 3:02 PM Title: Aisle 14
Also, if the toes stay there for extended periods of time then there must be a throne or a seat or some kind behind them. I find it hard to imagine there isn't something supporting that giantess. She can't be stood perfectly still for too long. Hopefully we'll see more of her.
Date: March 30 2016 2:57 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
I wrote the review around midnight; so you have to bear that mind. And looking back, yeah people wouldn't automatically assume they're aliens: they could be deities, or as you said larger humans (though I think this option is outlandish personally because somebody would need to create them in the first place and it would never be allowed to get to the scenes we see in the story). Aliens is, to me, the most sensible explanation.
In terms of the vagueness, I think I meant to focus on the scenery, i.e. the post apocalyptic landscape, not the little details about the giantesses (or at least their upper bodies). The narrator is always going to be close to the ground where the impact of the giantesses is felt the most:- he's going to be on the look out for feet and listening out for tremors. He's also got other humans to worry about given his position.
So I think I was saying don't spent too much time telling the reader about her looks, if at all. I gather you want them to be distant, emotionless even, so keep their appearance vague and focus on the parts of her body that are meaningful to the situation. As you've said it's about the survival. So in that sense it does make sense to have some focus on the feet because they have caused the most destruction (though I think it would be a mistake focus solely on feet of the smaller giantesses).
Really emphasize the post apocalyptic landscape. There must be more impact that just footprints. You don't have to deviate too much from your passions, all I was saying is, be a bit creative with the destruction: The smaller giantesses have a greater opportunity to interact with the landscape. Use that. So what I was saying is there is that giantess could use humans and their surviving structures for pleasure.
It's like: “Oh, you're not just lower down than me, you're just a mere toy for my own gratification”. Now, obviously, she doesn't speak human language (that's what I'm picking from the story), she's an alien, but actions speak louder than words as they say. She doesn't need waste time spelling out what she's going to do because she has the authority to simply do as she pleases.
Now, as for concluding the story. Maybe you can leave it open ended; without a resolution. What I mean by this is the narrator ultimately dies in some way and that's how the story ends. How would you do this in a journal type fashion (which you said you're writing in) you may ask?
Well that's easy. He can die a slow death (or commit suicide), which allows him to detail how exactly he died. And the reader finds his journal, which is what makes it a story. The are several ways to have a slow death which would allow the read to find the journal.
1. Rubble/a building falls on him – he gets trapped and concludes that it's the end. A sequel may be that he actually miraculously survived and he becomes friends with the reader.
2. He becomes wounded from an altercation with another a human. Clearly a giantess would kill him instantly so it might be that he gradually bleeds to death from a being stabbed or shot.
3. He decided to commit suicide. Maybe the journal details his slow descent into madness.
4. He falls into one of those feet shaped craters (perhaps in a desperate escape from another human(s) trying to kill him). Like the other scenarios, his journal is eventually found the reader.
I think you have potential as an author. I come on this website hopeful for a good story. So I don't appreciate too much smut. You seem to have a good balance; and you're emphasizing the fear it's good to be liberal with the giantesses. Another long review, sorry.
Author's Response: Again, thanks for the review and feedback. I think you make some very good points. I'll try and focus more on the landscape in the next chapter. Thanks for the clarification about vagueness. I'm not sure what I'll do for interaction just yet, as there's only so much that can be done with feet. I take in one chapter at a time, so I really don't know how the story will progress yet.
Date: March 30 2016 12:25 AM Title: Aisle 14
And, just to add, I do find it strange that he would randomly find an assault rifle. I guess this story must be set in a part of the United States where people are gun crazy enough to have assault weapons. You wouldn't usually find assault weapons in public in any other Western country, and even many Asian countries. But, eh, it's your story and it doesn't affect the giantesses anyway because they're so huge.
And I do like the toes. I like the fear of them too, especially how you've kept the gianteses distant, reinforcing they are not human at all and don;'t have human emotions (perhaps?). I want to find out more about them. Maybe she is seated on a throne? I look foward to more detail about the struggle.
Date: March 29 2016 11:51 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
I agree the chapter was rushed. However I mostly liked what was there. You've made me like giga giantesses now. Or at least the one in this story.
One thing that stood out to me is that you need to learn to trust the reader a bit more. They can quite easily guess that she's an extraterrestrial for example. Not need to spell it out. So thought that paragraph was a waste.
Secondly, the narrator writes as if the reader isn't part of this universe and is unaffected by the events of it. I can understand why you'd automatically do that - because it's easier to do. However it means that the story doesn't feel as immersive as it could be. Who is the narrator actually writing to? It doesn't feel like a diary but I suspect the story wants to be just that. Now, that is a bit harder, granted, but it'd pay off.
Still, there's enough mystery to keep my interested, like I've alluded to. The story seems like it could be fun so I'll be interested to see what you do with it. It's the unknown that's going to keep me reading and I appreciate there wasn't much information dumping in this initial chapter (don't worry, that's a good thing) so there was just enough information to set the scene and nor be too boring.
I mean, there's detail and there's detail. One needs to find the right balance. There were parts in would have written differently, as I said, but it's a decent start. You've made me sufficiently scared for the narrator and I hope you keep this up.
I really do like mystery giantesses like this large one. The fact you can only see her toes/feet (and ankles?) shrouds her in mystery. We get no sense of her emotion and so her motives remain unclear. Is this a chore for her or does she actually enjoy it?
I'm hoping you don't reveal too much too fast. I don't care if you don't have constant giantess content. The thing about the horror genre, and it can apply to this story, is it's really the suspense that scares people. To much gore and it loses its impact.
You need to keep reinforcing the fear. And yes, don't show too much of the giantesses. Dehumnize them. I don't care; they're aliens. Perhaps focus just on their lower bodies (stomach and below) for as long as possible. Focus on the running for his life aspect. Don't give away too much about them.
That's what makes them scary. It's the not knowing. If he's running for his life he won't remember every last detail about their appearance anyway. The main thing would be "Oh crap, another set of legs/feet gotta hide." He's not going to stop and stare given how he could easily die.
And remember, the story is called "Surviving With The Giants". He's not coexisting. He's surviving. So you that needs to be reinforced.
His life means nothing to them. Reinforce that. Don't go into too much detail on the giantesses. The main thing, if you want it to be scary is to focus on the destruction. Have some symbolism too: Maybe a giantess using a landmark as a sex toy to serve as a stark reminder of how pathetic the humans are.
I think you can do great things with story. And don't worry about not having enough scenes with giantesses. It may well work. Just remember to keep them vague each time they appear. But obviously you'll need to conclude the story somewhere so a gradual reveal is clearly necessary. But that's up to you how much you'd want to share.
I do love the description of the big feet though. You emphasized the destruction just enough but didn't get too bogged down with details. And, remember really try to put yourself in the mind of the narrator. The pun in the chapter title was fun.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll take it one paragraph at a time. 1. Glad to hear you like them now. They've always been my favorite. The bigger the better for me. 2. I agree I need to "trust the reader" but I'm not sure how the reader would have understood she was an alien. Unless I mentioned she was not from the planet, I didn't think the readers first thought would be alien. My first thought would be a giant human, but I can't speak for everyone. 3 I don't really know who the narrator is writing to. I tried to make it logical, because since it's first person, he can't be telling the reader events as it unfolds. It has to be recounting from a past experience, and I thought a journal was a good way to do that. Also, for a little comedic value, I tried to include a few fourth wall breaks (not really wall breaks but whatever). 4. Thanks for the compliments. My idea for this story wasn't actually focused on the giantesses but the survival instead. Then again, this is a giantess site, and the story needs the content with them. 5. I agree with what you've said. I never really have been good with detail. I can get the basic stuff out of the way, but I've always been focused more on the plot. My plan was to add details about the character(s) as I go along so the reader can know more. I also will try to add more detail in certain encounters (like the giantess and the man in the aisle). 6. I put the giant in because, again, I just like really really big women. I'm not sure what will happen with her but I'm liking your ideas so far. 7. Thanks. I like the giantess content so I always try to add when it would make sense but they're not the main focus, really. It's about the people. I agree it could be a horror story, since the situation the main character is in is pretty scary. 8. I'm not sure how the giantesses will be yet. I'm with you on the emotionless part, as I was considering something like that. I'll try to keep them shrouded in mystery. 9. You make a good point but I can't help but notice how it contrasts with an earlier one. Yeah, he wouldn't remember every detail as he is running for his life, but I don't know how I can fit the extra detail in like you mentioned before if I take this route. 10. Yeah, he isn't living "with" them, you could say, but "with them." As in, they're not friends, they're just always there and he lives with them. I agree the survival needs to be emphasized. 11. I've never been too good with symbolism but I'll try. I'll try to focus on the destruction, but as you may know I'm about feet and people who read my stories likely have that in mind. And as this is a giantess site, it would be a by difficult to be all about he destruction but forget to mention the actual giantess committing the act. 12. Thanks for he compliments. Not sure where this story is going yet, though. As with pretty much all of my stories, I get an idea or scene in my head and work from there, so the ending hasn't even crossed my mind yet. 13. Again, thanks for the compliments. I'm a bit of a weird guy because I like feet I guess, but with all the feet I've seen I guess I can provide some pretty good descriptions of them.
Date: March 29 2016 4:44 PM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
My mobile phone won't let me copy my long review into the reviewing box so it'll have to wait until the morning. It's sad but since I've written over 600 words it'll be worth it I'm sure.
[Report This]Date: March 29 2016 3:21 AM Title: Toe-tal Annihilation
Good start.
Author's Response: Thanks.