[Report This]Date: July 03 2016 11:32 AM Title: Chapter 11: Hold the Line
A chapter-length display of fireworks and victorious freedom-fighting. Highly appropriate for July 4th weekend! :-)
[Report This]Date: June 11 2016 2:51 AM Title: Chapter 10: Fear the Reaper
Holy shit!! I can't believe I just watched Terminator & Terminator 2: Judgment Day before I read this, lol.
That sneak attack was inspired and perfectly executed(both literally and literarily). However, unlike Terminator these cyborgs were once human and that is yet another thing that you've written perfectly(really liked the emotion displayed when Gabby discovered Ricardo). The final scene when Malcolm recognizes the traitor through me for a loop(still believe at least one traitor is Dixie) because Dixie was in that other battle at the time so maybe it was the guy who Gabby took under her wing, forgot his name unfortunately.(I'm pretty sure he was from that rescued concentration camp but his name is still a blur and it's really bugging me)
Anyways, can we take a moment and welcome back Derek!! Mister Badass Personified. I was so apprehensive about reading further when he showed up because I was so sure he was gonna die, again, in some heroic fashion. Glad he didn't, btw.
I wonder why cyborg/Ricardo recognized Derek's name though.. Unless they met previously but Derek didn't seem to know him from a ham sandwich so I wonder if who ever was looking through Ricardo's eyes knew Derek to be dead. That only could be Aviel, but that whole Ricardo flinching/pausing when hearing his name just brings up more questions.
Overall fantastic chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next. Hope the traitor(s) reveal isn't too many more chapters away.
aaron
PS I just don't understand why was Hans and the others from the beginning outside of Rome's protective walls? Seems like a god awful place to be especially in times of war.
If they weren't outside the walls I most likely missed a crucial detail. That was the only part I could've used more clarity.
Author's Response:
Glad you liked it, and the kid you are thinking of is Roan. He isn't the traitor as he was the kid who pushed William out of the way of Richardo and got sliced. I didn't say his name as Derek didn't know it.
Rome doesn't have walls its more like a defensive line from WWII, foxholes, some hidden weapons, etc... They were part of said defense and weremeant to help the full-sized guns fend off a Society attack, but were never planned to resist a surprise attack from a shrunken force.
[Report This]Date: June 10 2016 9:58 PM Title: Chapter 10: Fear the Reaper
Cyborg archers???
Holy Terminators, Batman!
[Report This]Date: May 30 2016 6:04 AM Title: Prologue
Would be interesting to find out how Terrence would react if Dixie was the traitor.
Now I realize that in the world of covert espionage that the most obvious choice is not necessarily the right choice. However, in one of the chapters at the end there was something to the fact that 'just because you're bigger than me doesn't mean you can give me orders, I outrank you'. This immediately tells me that the traitor is not only a female but a high ranking society member to boot. Dixie was also privy to all the secret locations for those poor shadow saps whom were intercepted by society. Also that mysterious phone call, which caused what's-his-face to lead his troops to their death, was on a secure line and untraceable which could only be one person(in my mind)
IF it were her it makes sense why she'd want a 'voice changer' when she gave the mayor his orders.
I hope she isn't just a red herring and the real traitor is somebody whom we've never seen or heard of yet.(I'm always disappointed when things like that happen in books/stories)
Now if it was something like so-and-so was the traitor to get in the society's good graces to hopefully be rewarded with the rank of giantess.
Sorry for that but I've been at the edge of my seat with these last few chapters. Had all these weird theories flying through my head while I desperately try to make sense of it.
Anyways phenomenal chapter and I can't wait to read more.
aaron
PS has Gabby met Dixie yet, for that matter has Sanders? I'm trying to give my crackpot theory some validity, lol.
[Report This]Date: May 28 2016 2:56 AM Title: Chapter 9: After Action Suspicions
Kinda sad about Fionne, she's just caught in the middle of all this, she's completely innocent. But of course she's also extremely dangerous so you can't just feel soory for her and not defend yourself! Speaking of Fionne, I remember when she went to the get together with Sanders',family. I wonder how his folks are doing? Knowing how ruthless the Society can be makes me think they might be dead already, but I hold out hope that Aviel, despite all this has the decency to remember that they don't control the actions of their son. I hold out hope that at least she keeps them safe keeping in mind how well they treated her in the good ol days. Anyway, most of the resistance stuff doesn't intertest me too much, I've always been vocal about finding most of them forgettable. And of course the few of them I kinda like, you tend to kill off.
[Report This]Date: May 27 2016 10:44 PM Title: Chapter 9: After Action Suspicions
Well, it's good to see you hard at work, here, instead of "Roman" aimlessly around. ;-)
Date: May 15 2016 8:38 PM Title: Chapter 8: The Second Battle of Rome
Also, I guess I should comment on this chapter. These people need to move somewhere else, that much is a given. The Society can just send and send things over until the city falls! If Alice was around they might be able to use her to carry some people but as it stands they only have Pyrra, I wonder what they are gonna do about this?
Date: May 15 2016 8:36 PM Title: Chapter 8: The Second Battle of Rome
Finally caught up with this series, haven't read 2.5 yet, but it's kind of an inbetweener so I'll save it for later, but I DID read the rest of 2 and caught up on 3 so as far as the current timeline is concerned I've caught up.
[Report This]Date: May 15 2016 3:52 AM Title: Chapter 8: The Second Battle of Rome
The loosing and learning continues.
"Over 2,000 other Roman soldiers were marching with Hans, heading to punch the Society's teeth in"
"You're right. If those outsiders can beat them then we sure as hell can, right?"
Not like this... : /
Great portray of how an army can fall. And the emotions...
"But sense and reason were two things none of his soldiers had anymore. All they had was fear."
: /
"should have...should have...should have....."
: (
"A sudden wave of relief washed over him as he saw Pyrrha, the platform and its cannon back on her, sprinting toward the battlefield."
Our heros return : D
"Those rifles rumbled out along with the whoosh of rockets as the Phoenixes showed the Romans how it was done."
:P
"They were doomed without his help and he was NOT going to let his past stop him from saving them."
: )
"Hans and Arnold looked at one another and an unspoken agreement went between them."
: )
"Keep it up, we can win this!"
... *doubt is calling*
"And in her mouth was.... oh no..."
*call answered*
"But Lutice broke the glare off with a slight smirk before turning away from the battlefield."
Wonder what that was about
"Of the over 2,000 soldiers who had marched out, less than 1,000 returned."
At least there ARE survivors... thanks to our heros.
"A live fairy…"
cool : )
"I did not expect the "hero" and his master to arrive so quickly."
hmmm... the way (she) talks...
"Your information was put to good use. All scout teams were eliminated."
!!! They need to find that traitor !!!
"I will admit to being eager to see them in action."
Unfortunately I'm too...
[Report This]Date: May 14 2016 6:32 PM Title: Chapter 8: The Second Battle of Rome
Whoa! The traitor is a shrinkie who OUTRANKS the Swords' commanding officer?
Another diabolically brilliant plot-twist.
[Report This]Date: May 01 2016 9:46 AM Title: Chapter 7: Distrust and Tattered Alliance
Well, Fitchett the Idjit becomes Suspect # 1 as to who the head traitor might be. But, the way Captain Freeman keeps protesting, I'd have to say that the first suspect is a little too obvious. So, I favor Freeman becomes the slightly stronger possibility as Suspect # 2.
OH! And for the lurkers, under age 21, who might be reading this? The above tic-tac-toe symbol has meant "number" far longer than it's meant "hash tag."
[Report This]Date: April 30 2016 1:32 PM Title: Chapter 7: Distrust and Tattered Alliance
Thanks for filling my dose of "After Shrink High" for maybe a week :P
Darius just can't stop himself from giving the "Sanders our Hero" train an upgrade after another^^
"How did they learn his name?" Terence asked half to Dixie and half to himself."
Such a good question^^
"Yes...well you already myself and the Commander so why do-"
Typo? -> Word missing between "already" and "myself"?
"Their not in substantial numbers"
Typo? -> "Their" should be "They're"?
Great that the society is still !actively! working against them and not just waiting for them to come
"The rage that had carried him over seemed to smack right into a wall of cement, leaving Terence unsure what to do."
Hehe... ah Darius : D
"The Phoenixes are right about the traitor. I know... because I was one of them."
Wow... didn't expect him to actually have the SPINE to come out with the truth by HIMSELF!
Also really liked the way the society got to the mayor.
"their anger at Darius forgotten."
... ; D
"OR SELL US INTO SLAVERY TO THIS MONSTERS"
Typo? -> "this" -> "these"?
"P- please. There... there is-"
probably something important...
"Wait, we should hear him out,"
YES!!!
"Let me do SOMETHING to make those..those MURDERERS pay! PLEASE!"
"But it did put more than a few points in the “let him live” category."
: )
"Terence's glare shifted to look at him and the Captain clamped his mouth shut tighter than a oil drum."
: D : D
"The reaction was quick and nasty as all four yelled in almost unison, ..."
Darius just can't stop haha : D
"William had a feeling this plan was going to run into trouble"
as it almost always does : /
William still preparing Samantha : )
"You are your workers are exempt from that order."
Typo? -> Point or Comma missing?
"seemed to hide a smilel"
Typo
"And not all of that war will be fought in the light..."
as it should be ; )
[Report This]Date: April 12 2016 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 6: The First Battle of Rome
Rest assured, I will be here for that chapter.
Bravo, and thank you, for this one. :-)
[Report This]Date: April 09 2016 4:33 AM Title: Chapter 6: The First Battle of Rome
This type of review may be strange, but I hope its still helpful.
"Ahhhhh~! That feels so much better,"
I think most of us can relate to that ; D
"And if there was one thing he had learned about these Society monsters it was that they LOVED to talk about their superiority. "
haha, they do : D
"Refuse, and we'll make your corpse into a new obstacle"
haha : D
"But what did he expect from a Society member..."
: /
"Fuck the plan and fuck trying to buy time, this devil was going to die. "
urgh...
"If she or Sanders had turned on them the damage they could have done was... well pretty much total."
*nod*
"Besides, it was kinda nice to be doing something that was more inline with his old life... Reminded him of better times...and got his mind off his dead friend."
: )
"I've missed worked with C4..."
: D
"big bad lady", "Sanders' loud stick", ...
Pyrrha's Vocabulary is just great : D
Great how you described Pyrrha's sudden confusion and arousal as well Jessica taking over
"Fuck she was gone, completely and utterly."
: (
"Her sudden shift cause Sanders’ entire innerworkings to feel left behind"
X.X
"A few quick warning shots from the turrets were enough to send both retreating."
: D : D
"The fairy gave her a horrifying, yet innocent, smile as she neared Samantha. "
: /
"Wow she was...impressive, but not that impressive compared to Jessica."
haha, always looking for a rolemodel : D
"Dammit, STOP RESISTING!"
: P
"His, nearly, dislocated shoulder had been worth it.", "You... little FUCKER!"
: )
"Except...she was running on two legs rather than four..."
hmm, jessica still in control it seems
"Sanders! Ummm... what happened?"
hmm : )
Nice equipment the Romans got there. Hopefully they are able to keep producing it.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2016 4:26 AM Title: Chapter 5: The War Begins
Took me two weeks of reading almost every day to get to this chapter (Lutice's sexy (and slightly depressing) Sidestory included; There should be more sexy ones like that). I couldn't stop reading!
Where should I begin?
I loved Shrink High so this first drew me to this story (and a recommendation from /d/!)
Character development everywhere! All characters we meet have a life, emotions, dreams and fears! Instead of doing info-dumps you gradually and logically let us get closer to each one. When emotions sky rocket mine do too.
I almost shed manly tears with the anguish Isabella felt of having killed a loved one, her death and the reveal of her past. A Person that had to lose everything to become the good one she was, only to die thanks to it... THE SOCIETY NEEDS TO PAY!
Even though Sanders seems to be the hero in this story, thanks to the other characters being this fleshed out he seems more like one among many! And he really is a good man, forced through hardship and failure. But the friends, slow victories and closure he's made will give him the strength to at least save one of his past friends and deal a crushing blow to the society!
I'm torn about Aviel. From one side I want her dead for her betrayal and giving into her anger, from the other I understand her after her loss and thus becoming blind to what is really going on around her. I really want her to see the truth, to see how she reacts once everything comes crashing down. Her reaction to Sanders hurting Flonne shows that she at least cares about her. Flonne dying would doom Aviel entirely.
Flonne... Oh Flonne... Innocence turned into an almost unfeeling accelerated grown weapon. I really, reaaaaalllly hope Sanders is at least able to safe and make her see the full truth! Aviel can burn for all I care if Floone dies (plus Flonne would probably be even needed to let Aviel see reason). Then again the amount of pain and suffering almost all the characters went through... for some death really is the only quick way to end their otherwise life long suffering.
Even though Lutice is the visibly cruelest... Like most, at first I raged at her but after seeing the real one... I just want to put a gun to her head to end her suffering. Trapping a person inside their own head... The Society has become so... no is cruel! *The directors manipulating way of talking dances through my head* With Sanders being the only one that can get through to the real Lutice, thanks to her love for him, I can only hope he's able to strengthened her good side enough for her to put and end to the other one.
After Matilda's comment Catherine it seems like she could actually be persuaded once things turn around.
Angela is a psychopath and should be put down as quickly as possible.
I want to dislike Darius but I can't. He may be amoral and needs people who keep him in check but he really is a brilliant tactician! It will be interesting to see if he will really betray them. He can't save and keep his sister from harms way alone, meaning he would need to play the leader long enough for the society to really be no threat anymore.
Phyrra/Jessica... I think this is Sanders greatest Ally Darius's Sister meant. Loved the way she slowly got smarter every day. Even while we get to see her thoughts. And Jessica trying to give Samantha as much closure as she can before Phyrra takes completely over... : ( I actually want Phyrra to survive and Jessica to at least have a somewhat peaceful death.
I could keep on writing about why I like or dislike other characters, but will stop for now.
Twists, Reveals and Foreshadowing.
Only Authors who have a firm grasp of their story are able to do it in such a way that previous actions of characters make perfect sense once it's revealed why. So satisfying!
The Setting and describing the environment
Crushing trees with fingers, moving skyscrapers, the vibrations, being smaller than ones toe, enormous dead and rusted buildings, the reaction during and after the shrink disaster, crushed under ones schoolbag, ...
The way you describe the environment and what is happening allows me greatly to picture what the characters are seeing (including from their POV thanks to the characterization)
No negatives from me for now, though in the first and 2nd Act you kept eating words as well sometimes using the wrong tense for some words. But that's about it
To this chapter:
The Traitors at the top almost always cause the most damage. The people of Rome will never be the same after being betrayed twice.
Rome... the name alone tells me it will probably fall but... if not...
I'm sure I forgot lots more to praise about but that's all that I could think of for now.
Hope I was able to stroke your ego a bit! : )
Author's Response:
I have been meaning to do more one-shots, but just haven't had the time...
Glad you like it, it always helps keep me motivated to hear people love the story, doubly so when they make sure a long response. Happy to hear you like the characters. I'll say that some of your theories on them are close, but leave you to figure out which ones.
Hope you will stick around as the ride is only going to get wilder from here.
[Report This]Date: March 28 2016 3:37 PM Title: Prologue
True to your word, this train does not make breaks!
I'm glad they are taking all the explosives off Pyrrha, I was scared they would be eventually the reason for an untimely demise. If you thought out all of that plot from the beginning, you're my freaking hero.
The Interactions between Sanders and Aviel are definitely my highlights of this story. You managed to link her with so many unknown variables that her name alone already speaks like some kind of terror and legend. I guess the success of the revolution will fully depend on Aviel and the side she takes on.
If Sander manages to convince her of the society's evil, I can already see the Phoenixes planning the construction of a gigantic fortress housing hundreds of people wildly scurrying around to complete their tasks, positioned on the back of a rather annoyed Aviel. Hrhrhrhrhr
Author's Response:
Of course I did! I always have a plan for how things will come back and be used! Mostly...
Yes I enjoy the dynamic between the two as well. She will, certainly, have a big role to play in how Act 3 turns out. For better or worse...
[Report This]Date: March 11 2016 11:24 PM Title: Chapter 4: Hard Truths
Hoo-boy! Fit and shan are _really_ going to collide, now! I have to wonder, though, just who Operative 2231 really is. Dixie...or the Mayor?
Date: March 11 2016 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 4: Hard Truths
The death free chapters were nice while it lasted.
Date: March 11 2016 5:56 PM Title: Chapter 4: Hard Truths
Things are heating up? That's good news to me. This is one of the best stories still on this site.
[Report This]Date: February 27 2016 12:01 PM Title: Prologue
I like the Jessica-Pyrrha situation there. I'll make an estimated guess and say people of Rome will assist Sanders and Darius in the war but Victor seems to have quite the influence. Good chapter