Date: January 15 2016 6:26 PM Title: Chapter 1
Damnnn he died. Or did he?
Nice story. Enjoyed the last chapter
[Report This]Date: January 14 2016 6:45 PM Title: Chapter 8
AWWWWWWWWWWW! What a shame!
I guess true love has to be a two-way street before it can conquer all. :-(
[Report This]Date: January 13 2016 7:13 PM Title: Chapter 7
Discovered, at last!
The question now becomes: what will Sian do?
Author's Response: Bearing in mind that she is drunk......
[Report This]Date: January 08 2016 9:55 PM Title: Chapter 6
Ha! Rose shrank him too soon.
I love poetic justice. :-)
[Report This]Date: December 29 2015 6:43 PM Title: Chapter 5
A-ha! So, my first assumption was right.
But, something tells me I won't find out, whether I'm right or wrong, this year. So, I wish you...Happy New Year! :-)
Author's Response: Might squeeze in another chapter before 2016 but there's no guarantee. If not then I wish you all a happy new year.
Author's Response: Might squeeze in another chapter before 2016 but there's no guarantee. If not then I wish you all a happy new year.
[Report This]Date: December 29 2015 12:17 PM Title: Chapter 4
Aww, the true fun starts at the end of this chaptor..well i hope it goes far into the next one. Hopefully Sian doesnt jump up in surprise or anything to fast. But with him passing out that early..hm i dont know. Anyway really great so far.
Date: December 26 2015 4:08 PM Title: Chapter 2
Still a few spelling errors in chapter 4, though. Example: "psycho" instead of "physco" (similar to the classic Ricky Ricardo-ism "physiciatrist").
[Report This]Date: December 26 2015 4:05 PM Title: Chapter 4
A-ha! It was Sian who did this to him. Evidence for that? Her studiously ignoring him before "conveniently" sitting down on top of him. Thereby shielding him from Rose's eyes!
Author's Response: I wouldn't go making assumptions just yet.........
[Report This]Date: December 26 2015 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 3
And, Happy Holidays to you (in case I forgot to wish you that before)!
As for this chapter? Well, let's just say that there's only one way to see whether or not Rose is genuinely unaware of what happened to Our Little Hero.
On to the next chapter!! :-)
[Report This]Date: December 21 2015 7:41 PM Title: Chapter 2
A brief lapse into first-person viewpoint, when you said "We all slumped upstairs..." instead of "They..." (the pronoun you clearly meant to use).
Other than that, you're building the suspense quite nicely!
Author's Response: Yeah I've been doing it a lot since I usually write in 1st person so it comes naturally to me to write I/we instead of he/they. Thanks for spotting it for me though!
[Report This]Date: December 19 2015 9:00 PM Title: Chapter 1
Interesting opener! I wonder if Rose might be a closet lesbian...with a crush on Sian, as well?
Author's Response: I guess that we'll have to wait and find out......