Date: February 18 2018 5:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
Nice short story. Would be interested if there were similar shorties like it. Maybe a compilation of numerous shorties in this anthro world you created. Minor grammar issues made it a little hard to follow, but otherwise a good piece all round.
Date: October 23 2015 12:31 AM Title: Chapter 1
It was a lovely story. I hope we see more from you. It's curious that a rabbit would like a fox though it's a fun story nonetheless. I think it's a great
Despite that, I noticed quite a few grammar mistakes. Sometimes I found myself having to re-read sentences because I didn't understand them. This hurts your story.
There are places where the description could be a little mroe detailed too. For example right after when the charcoal fox gets beat up. I felt there could be more more detail here. But instead you quickly switch to Jack eating with out any real description of what happened in between.
I liked the scenes at Emma's house too. But I thought they were rather brief. The nightmare scene was a great piece of character development though. It reinforced how fragile Jack is and showed a maternal side to Emma - which I was half expecting. She's a very nice character.
Date: October 22 2015 2:05 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great dialogue!