Ok I don't know who you are but that was easily one of the best giantess stories I have ever read. Great job. 5 out of 5 stars. I loved every second of it

More pls

This story could've been a lot better. Now I've only read the first 2 chapters so maybe you already fixed some of the things that I'm going to critque. Also I'm not yelling at you or anything, I'm just trying to give some helpful adivce. 

The frst thing that I noticed was the "you"s instead of "I"s. Now abc has already talked a lot about this so I'll just say one thing about it. More people will want to read a story in the 1st preson. 

The second thing is that in the first chapter you changed precpetives. "...she was caring and looked after me as well as my younger sister Tilly. You notice that she is..." I had to go back and re-read that three or four times to truly understand what it was saying. You also have a lot of grammar and spelling errors, but I'm not gonna be too picky on that. Mainly because I suck with grammar and spelling too.

The next thing is that Chole goes out of charater in the 2nd chapter. You describe her as gentle in the 1st, but then she insults her brother in the 2nd. Now maybe that's based on personal exp., however I am an older brother I care for my little bro yet I don't insult him....much. If I were to insult him I'd atleast say his n

Last and, in my opinion, most important is detail. You don't have enough. You say in the first chapter "...you see a blonde figure standing in the doorway." It's great that you told us her hair color, but we want to know more about her. Is she tall? What are her facical features? Is she skinny, or large? What color are her eyes? You get the idea. Going into detail helps the reader. The reader should be able to have a high quataily movie of your book playing in their head as they read. Now, like I said, I've only read the first two chapters so maybe you've already been adding more deatil.

I want to say again, this was in no way ment to be rude or insulting. I'm just trying to give you some tips on how to make a great story. For a first story, it's not that bad.      

Author's Response: Actually, I like using 'you' in some of my stories as makes the reader feel like that it's happening/happened to them.

Actually, most readers don't like that.  It makes them feel like puppets and its forced and unreal.  You describe an action "You" takes and your reader thinks "I wouldn't do that."  Immediately, the reader begins to have issues.  Notice that there is not a single play or work of published fiction which uses this technique and it is primarily for that reason.

Evem on TV shows like Blues Clues or Dora the Explorer, when the characters try to engage the toddlers watching the show, the character asks the toddler's questions nit doesn't give orders.

So, you have likely a fine story, but you should consider writing again - create a new story with the same theme - but from a different perspective.  In fact, that's what's happening right now with 50 Shades of Grey: now there is a new novel told from Grey's perspective.

Try rewritting this without "You".  No work of fiction is ever really written like that.  Give "You" a name and write it in the 3rd person or 1st person.

Interesting. Please do keep going. I see this is your first so welcome. A point or two. Different character get new lines of text. It'll make it more space out and its easier to read and differentiate between charecters. Look forward to what comes next.