Date: October 17 2015 12:27 PM Title: PROLOGUE
One more thing, I just realized. What if there was a male with an abnomality and an extra X chromosome, would it still not work. Is it the Y chromosome that cancels it out?
To find what I mean, click this link here: ghr.nlm.nih.gov/chromosome/3
Also, I noticed Many wants to be BIG as well. Will you be exploring that in later chapters?
Or this is just showing how similar she is to her cousin?
Author's Response:
Hi there!
You really want to have a male growing and stopping the girls! Honestly, I have not developped the pseudo-science behind the girls' growth nearly enough to determine what would happen if the formula was applied to a man with an abnomaly and two X chromosomes. I guess that we could consider that it's the Y chromosome the one that cancels out the growth. In the second part of the story you'll get an attempt at an explanation of what's making the girls grown and what made Kelly even bigger. Let's scpeculate then?
As for Mandy: yes, she wants to get big. And she won't just accept that her cousin can decide her fate. So, Mandy will show up later in the story, since she is on a mission as well. WIll she succeed? Well, I won't reveal that! :P
I hope that you enjoyed the chapter in any case :)
Cheers!
Date: October 17 2015 4:49 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Loved the amount of fleshing out you gave to Casey, we learned so much about her past and even met her old friends and family! Bravo, easily my favourite chapter of this story!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I'm happy to see you enjoyed this chapter so much. While Casey is pretty much a sadist bitch, I wanted to give her a little more substance and background, so I'm glad that you found that I had more or less met my objectives!
I wanted to thank you for your continued feedback and support for this story. I saw the critique you posted on DA, as well. I also did not know that it was possible to request them until a few weeks ago, when I decided to try clicking on the checkbox. Yours is the first critique I receive and it is very much appreciated. Thanks!
Date: October 14 2015 10:06 AM Title: PROLOGUE
You asked about whether or not I had an teaser? Yes, I do.
Miles Morales (Spider-Man) is still starting out as a super-hero. Peter Parker has left him some big shoes to fill and he seems to be doing just fine.
But when HYDRA unleashes their most daring attack against SHIELD to date, Miles is confronted with a very unexpected opponent. And very hot.
Will the young teen man up and prevail or his latest challenge? Or will he be too busy staring up at her breasts?
For further details:
It will in fact feature an excerpt from Ultimate Spider-Man Vol 2 #18. This will take place from Spidey's POV and go more into depth about what he was thinking of her at the time. It should be about one page, no more.
(Will include Jessica Drew and mention Captain America)
No guarantee when I'll make it. Should be before the end of the year.
Author's Response:
Well, I'll definitely be interested on reading it, once it's ready :)
Date: October 12 2015 6:12 PM Title: Chapter 8. Power
Sorry I was abit busy when this chapter came out that I didn't get to leave a comment on it. The chapter was good, it was all par for the course when it comes to Kelly though. Also another thing to add to the worries of normal humans, do the girls need to eat to survive? If so, then I really doubt the Kelly and Casey would be opposed to eating humans if need be, to sustain themselves. Even Lisa who is an angel in human skin may turn to doing something unpleasant if hunger kicks in. People can do some crazy, crazy things when they are hungry.
Author's Response:
No problem. I was missing your review (you are always the first one!) but I knew that it would come :)
While I used this chapter to explore a little more Kelly's thoughts on what she would do in her new status, the truth is that it was more of a divertimento than anything else. I decided to have a chapter with Kelly just indulging (as she did in several chapters in Vol. 2) before I moved to the next phase of the story. In the previous 3 chapters with Kelly at her new size, she was exploring the possibilities and creating quite a lot of mayhem, but her actions were more or less justified from the point of view of moving the story forward. This chapter, besides the reflections I was mentioning and some information sharing, like the plans to evacuate people to the West Coast, did not do that much for the plot.
I guess that's the reason why you mention the chapter was on par for the course when it comes to Kelly. I guess it could feel a little repetitive. What I can tell you is that this chapter also marks the transition from the first part of the story, which could be considered as an overly long introduction to the new set-up and the new paths of the main characters, and the second part, where each of the characters will pursue their own agenda and objectives.
For Kelly, the objective lies on the other bank of the Potomac, and her next chapter (in 2 weeks) will cover it extensively. I want to think that it will feel quite different from what she has done up to now.
For Casey, her objective(s) are back in her hometown, and next week she will finally set foot back on it (in the way only Casey can do...).
And as for Lisa, she has a new objective since she found out about the FSD and her family, and she will also get to it soon in the story.
This second part will cover most of the rest of the story, until it reaches the climax/conclusion which will necessarily be faster. I think that the way it came out it will be quite intense, as well.
As for the food and the hunger... yes, the women need to eat to survive. They have "regular" human needs, only at a much bigger scale. As to how they will approach this need? Well, Kelly, Casey and Lisa will be very different, as usual. Kelly has managed to quench her hunger somewhat, right now, and she was always the most problematic of the three, since the sheer amount of food she needs is huge. Casey and Lisa have more manageable needs, but also quite different approaches to the rest of the population...
Cheers!
Date: October 12 2015 6:28 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Oh?English is not your first language? I'm impressed, it doesn't show at all. Good job. Where are you from?
Author's Response:
Nope. I'm from Barcelona, in Spain. My mother tongues are Catalan and Spanish.
I'm glad that not being a native speaker doesn't show too much. I was not too concerned about being able to express myself in English, but there are always some doubts on whether I would be able to master the language enough so that the story would not suffer. I'm sure there are a few grammar errors here and there that I could not catch in the re-reads (or that I basically did not identify as errors) and while I try to use Thesaurus as much as I can, I guess that my vocabulary is not as broad as I would like. I'm happy to see that things are still working well enough, though.
Thanks!
Date: October 11 2015 7:22 PM Title: PROLOGUE
I believe those are called red herrings :)
Author's Response:
I had to look for "red herrings" in Wikipedia. I did not know it (I'm not a native Enligh speaker, after all)! :)
Well, in any case, whether the reference to nukes in the prologue is a "red herring" (placed there to misguide) or a Checkov's gun (if a gun shows in a scene of a play, this gun needs to be used in the play sooner or later), it won't be revealed for a while. At most in 12 chapters, which are the ones that are missing to complete the story ;P
Date: October 11 2015 7:39 AM Title: PROLOGUE
K, don't get me wrong, I like what you're doing with the story, but I wonder if you miiight be overdoing it. You said the story would be shorter the previous one, yet at the rate you're going it seems like it will be at least another six chapters before we reach the climax!
I feel that making each chapter about just one person is only so good for extending the story's length if there are more developments. But so far, nothing Kelly has done, surprises me. It seemed inevitable that she would begin murdering innocents for no reason, as she no longer sees them as humans, rather as insects.
(HINT: WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF SOMEONE TRIED TO SPEAK OUT TO HER!)
She still tries to justify that she's better than Casey would be at this size, but now that's irrelevant. If anything, she's becoming more like Casey, if not worse. When is she finally going to drop the illusion of being a goddess and realize she's just a monster?
Casey, on the other hand, hasn't changed a bit. Obviously, she's out for revenge for all who've wronged her in Henford, but that doesn't need details. One could easily just cut to the chase: leaving the town in ruins clutching the new sheriff in her hands.
The character that I figured you would enjoy the most is Lisa. It's not common to create a benelovent giantess in this forum, that can also think rationally. She's the only one who realizes that all they can do is stomp the smaller people. Not much of a life, right. It's like having intercourse: you get wild for maybe a couple hours, but then the adrenaline fades and the fun is over. Of course, Kelly and Casey are determined to make it last.
Another thing I wanted to bring up was the Side Effects: I always figured from the start that they had ingested a super-strength formula and the side-effect was their growth. IF... and it is an IF, if that is the case, then it is perfectly plausible for men to take it and develop super-strength. I mean you had it stated that the formula works only on women (DID YOU EXPLAIN WHY, SCIENTIFICALLY) but it did NOTHING on men, that's rather. There should be SOME sort of result, unless you're just using the fantasy part of thsi story to rationalize things in which case, forget this paragraph, altogether.
And FYI, if you're going to give the Army, a stupid and completely ineffective operation, don't give a cool name. I liked the idea of Operation Goliath, until I realized the scope of its tactics. Made no sense, because Goliath is male, so you should have used the name Gaia, or Rhea (Greek Titanesses). This is not to complain about Volume 2, but rather for future reference, because I can only assume the President will be launching another direct assault on the girls (maybe all three).
The biggest problem I have is that your fantasy is WAAAYYY too one-sided. You give all the girls massive size AND super-powers to go with them (Diamond hard skin). For the military, you keep things as they would be in this modern day and age, completely forgetting that USA doesn't work like that. You think it's a good excuse that they "didn't think things through" when they were making the FORMULA, but the reality is that Americans would ALWAYS prepare for the worst possible scenario, and have a fail safe. Is it too much to ask that Area 51 has some special super-weapons that might actually be able to HARM the giantesses? If not Kelly, then at least Casey or Lisa. I'm not saying it has to KILL them, but it should have SOME effect, just to put Lisa and Casy on edge, maybe make Kelly want to grow more.
(Have you considered a tac. squad entering Kelly, via her ear and killing her from within? Just a thought...)
Finally, I know you said it would be a while before Ron and the Doc would appear but this getting tedious. You could AT least show Ron listening to the radio, gasping at the death toll, while Mendel is progressing with research for an antidote... ONE PARARGRAPH IS ALL I ASK...
That's all I got for now. I MIGHT be doing a story of my own in November about MILES MORALES: THE ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN and his fight VS CASSIE LANG.
I still like you story and you can ignore my suggestions if you want, but I should think I am making SOME sense!!
Cheers!
Author's Response:
Well, I think I covered a few of the topics in the previous response. To start by the end: You are making sense. I think I know where some of the discrepancies are coming from. I'd say that there are two:
- My set-up and rules for the fantasy world of Side Effects are different from the ones you would have chosen. I covered something in my previous answer, but I will try to answer to the other points you raised in the remainder of this one
- The pace of the story. This first chapters of Side Effects Volume 3 are quite slow. They are quite descriptive, but not so much time has passed. They would be almost the introduction of the story, since none of the three women have actually started to pursue their agenda in full. I invested time in explaining Kelly's fall into her delusional state, in giving Lisa a purpose (to stop Kelly) and on setting Casey on her new objective (which is to find the leftover formula from Volume 1 and grow). The next chapter (with Casey) will be kind of the transition between the introduction and the real action that will bring the characters to their objectives. And the conclusion will still need to wait quite alot. I know that you are eager to see what's going on, how the people are going to be able to fight the women and whether they will succeed. But that will not happen until the climax, necessarily. Many of your questions will be answered during the story: people will get smarter when fighting them, Ron and Mendel will progress in their investigation, the women will face opposition... but when that happens things are going to move relatively quick. I wanted Side Effects to be detailed in how some things were covered and this is pushing the part of the story you are eager to read away, which I think is making you judge some long introduction chapters as if they were conclusion. I'm afraid that this is going to be like this for a while... so I'm afraid that the only thing I can do is to ask you for patience...
BTW, Volume 3 won't be shorter than Volume 2. It's 20 chapters long (which is 3 chapters less), but each chapter is quite longer. Overall, Vol. 3 is 115K words long versus the 87K words of Vol. 2...
The reason I'm focusing on a character per chapter (mostly) is to make it easier to follow the story and to be able to get detailed. Actually, when I did a "cross-roads" chapter (like ch. 5), I received feedback that it was confusing...
Now, let me go to your specific comments:
- I think Kelly will surprise you. As I said, these initial chapters were a long introduction that intended to show her evolution (or her fall). I know that her actions might not be surprising if you were already expecting her to go on a rampage (which you did), but to me the focus was to describe how she tried to rationalize it in her head, and I think that at least this was somewhat original...
- Kelly will never realize that she has become a monster. That's the way her head is working (and what I'm trying to describe in her chapters...)
- I will invest time in describing Casey's actions. I know that you will probably enjoy them less than some other readers, but she is getting back to her hometown with the objective to grow but where she also has some loose ends... in the end, not every chapter in a story needs to move at a quick pace towards the conclusion. Sometimes, the progress is slower and the chapter is more descriptive. These chapters are needed to provide some depth to the characters or the situation that a more rushed chapter would not have. There will be a few of those... I think that the problem with them, from your perspective, is that you need to wait a full week to read the next. If you had the complete story in your hands they would probably be less of an issue.
- Kelly is not treating her size as an extended "intercourse". While she enjoys what she does enormously, she really has a long term agenda in mind. Casey, on the other side, is more than willing to "fuck" the world for as long as she can. Of course, it doesn't look like her plan is sustainable, but she never cared about those things.
- About the growth: I explained some (and I'll try to explain some more). It will not hold a detailed scientific analysis, of course (otherwise, we would have real growth formulas), but the summary would be: the formula that causes the growth makes a change on both chromosome X that is required for this growth. Humans without 2 X chromosomes cannot be affected by the formula. So, males see no effect. About the strength: it's a consequence of the square-cube law. Any animal growing too much would not be able to hold its own weight because the weight increases with the cube of the growth factor while the strength only increases with the square (since it depends on the muscle section). So, for a human being to become giant, something needs to make this human grow but this same something needs to increase his strength further. Once you accept this, it's up to the author (in this case me :) to decide whether to make the strength increase just enough to keep the new weight or bring it quite further, like in this case.
- America's plan to deal with the formula was to create it and control it in the first place. They would have never put it to work if they had not had a way to reduce or keep the subject under control. The problem is that the girls grew when no one expected them to retain the ability to do so, which kind of caught the government unaware. Having said that, they had a plan, which consisted on using a fast reaction force to attack the girls with conventional weapons. Since all they knew was that they could get 100 feet tall and they knew nothing about their increased strength (it's not as if they could study them while they were big), they were convinced that anti-tank weaponry would be more than enough (if it can sink an aircraft carrier and destroy an armored vehicle, why should a missile not kill a hundred foot woman?). Of course, they were wrong. I know that you don't like the conflicts so far to have been so one-sided, but if the army had had an effective way to kill them right after their growth, the story would have finished several months ago...
- Some people suggested the team getting into Kelly's ear before. I never consider it for this story. Who knows, I may leverage the idea for future works (although I'm not sure I will write abouta woman as massive as Kelly in the near future; I tend to prefer smaller giantesses)
- I'm afraid Ron and Mendel won't show up in the coming couple or three chapters. When they show up they will get protagonism quickly enough. But I can assure you that they are moving and working as fast as they can!
Cheers!
P.S. I'll be interested on the story you are writing. Any teasers on what the storyline would be?
Date: October 10 2015 5:40 PM Title: PROLOGUE
The nuke is coming, the pilot was covering for it. I like Kelly, not the kind of giantess I'd want around in real life( my stories generally have the kind I'd want in real life) but her quest for power is easily the most fascinating part of this story.
Well done, I get excited everytime you update this story!
Author's Response:
Well, as usual, I will not be revealing spoilers :) Chekov's guns sometimes are not what they seem ;)
Of course, no one would like a giantess like Kelly around in real life. But her quest for power is what is keeping this story going.
I'm happy that you are enjoying it so much. Thanks, as usual for taking the time to share your thoughts. It is very much appreciated.
Cheers!
Date: October 10 2015 1:13 PM Title: PROLOGUE
My God, can she get anymore delusional?
FYI, I don't like the fact that you call this a fantasy yet limit the army to regular weapons. You make it possible for a weapon of MD (Mass Destruction) such as the formula, yet no counter-measures for it. You can't seriously expect me to believe that "they didn't think it all the way through" BS. USA's a highly paranoid country and to have no super-weapons in this new age is ludicrous.
Something that could at least hurt them, even to minor scale should not be discounted!
I have more to say, but that will have to wait.
Can't wait for Lisa's next chapter... and Ron and Mendel's debut!
Author's Response:
Yes, she can get more delusional. Since her growth she has fallen quite quickly into it, but there is still some room for evolution. This evolution will have a certain twist, though. Kelly is killing people by the thousands and doesn't care too much about it, but she really has a plan. You'll see.
I know that you hate the fact that the army is ineffective agaisnt the women, especially Kelly. So far, their lack of effectiveness has been driven by the fact that the women have become much stronger than they should (and that anyone could imagine) but also by the fact that the response has been quite uncoordinated since they haven't had material time to work on it.
This story is a fantasy (obviously, any story about a giant woman needs to be a fantasy), but in the end, it is important for fantasy to set the scenario and the ground rules and then to make the story evolve from there, without changing them as you go. In Side Effects the scenario is the real world and the ground rules are that everything in the world is exactly how we know it except for the fact that three women have grown much bigger and have become much stronger due to an experiment the government did not pay the necessary attention to. I know you would prefer the setting to be a little different, but I'm just trying to keep faithful to the scenario and rules I set since I started Volume 2...
BTW, I never said anywhere in the story that there was nothing that could hurt the women. When she was 250 feet tall Kelly was hurt. Now she is much bigger, so the weapons that hurt her before will not hurt her now, but there are other weaponsin the arsenal.
I'm happy that besides everything you are still more or less enjoying the story. Thanks for the feedback, as always! I may agree or may not agree, but it's interesting to discuss it and as I mentioned a couple of times, it makes me think when I'm writing new chapters or new stories (which is the case right now, since Side Effects 3 is pretty much written).
Cheers!
P.S. I'm preparing the answer to your other, much longer post now :)
[Report This]Date: October 04 2015 6:53 AM Title: Chapter 7. Angel
So interesting seeing people react when they meet Lisa. Her intentions are verybgood, but the people are still terrified (although they are warming up). What happens when she finds Kelly? I was honestly expecting a Casey chapter here, but I'm glad we got this one.
Author's Response:
Well, I'm glad that you liked this chapter too. Next week it will be Kelly again, and the next one will be Casey's turn.
It's fun to write about how people react to Lisa and about how she takes those reactions. She is so different in this aspect to the other two girls! As for what happens when she finds Kelly? Well, you'll get it in full detail, but it will still be a few weeks I'm afraid. There are other things that need to happen first!
Cheers!
[Report This]Date: October 03 2015 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 7. Angel
I really, really like your writing. Since Vol. 1. It's more than just 'fanservice', as many stories over here that care little about writing, instead of making me want to stop reading or simply jump to the 'good parts' you make me truly enjoy the reading from the beginnig to the end. It's good, exciting and arousing.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much!
I'm glad that you are enjoying the stories beyond the pure fetish aspect of them. When I wrote them I tried to write a story that would be heavy in giantess content but that would be primarily a story, with its storyline, characters and flow. Comments like yours make me really happy, since it seems that I achieved my objective!
I hope that you will continue enjoying what you read. Please, keep letting me know what you think. Feedback like this is what keeps me writing and posting.
Cheers!
[Report This]Date: October 03 2015 3:12 PM Title: Chapter 7. Angel
You were right, I did love this chapter! Lisa really is an Angel in human flesh, like I said before I don't think too many people wouldn't be consumed by the power they have and become evil. Everything about this chapter showed her gentleness and kindness, she went out of her way, even putting aside her main goal to help people in need. She was so cute too, getting all flustered when people are afraid of her, that aspect of her character makes me squeeee inside.
Anyway, I'm glad we got the chapter, and I know you've said that Lisa is probably the character we get the least of which kinda sucks, but I hope we get a few more showcases of her gentleness along the way. Honestly she's the only person so far that I think the world would be better off if she stayed a giant. I can only think of how helpful she could be even when there aren't major threats like Casey or Kelly around. She could maybe be an architect or something, or maybe help firefighters.
Maybe if she wore shoes made with sponge at the bottom, she wouldn't cause street damage either, I'm sure the government or a company could find a way to allow her to enter towns without causing damage to streets. Anyway, these are just little ideas that popped into my head. Great chapter, and I eagerly await the next one!
Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I was sure you would.
I agree with you: Lisa is the only one of the girls that would be helpful to the world if she stayed giant. It's not as if she wants to. She really hates being giant. And that's probably the reason she acts as gently as she does. In her mind, she still wants to be a regular person, not someone with immense power over the rest of the population.
You will see more of Lisa and she will have a very important role in the story. But in a story like Side Effects a character like Lisa necessarily cannot get more "screen time" than the other two. In the end, it's Kelly who's driving the story with her actions and Casey who represents the added threat. Now that it's done, I realize that the story could have probably used a little bit more of Lisa, but probably more on the aspect of what her thoughts are. I'm afraid that if I had too many chapters focusing on how she helps people in similar situations to the ones in Cranston the story would get too repetitive.
In any case, don't worry: you'll see more of her and I think you will like it when you do :)
Cheers!
Date: October 03 2015 11:24 AM Title: Chapter 7. Angel
Good chapter, I think if only one could remain giant at the end of the story, I'd pick Lisa although Kelly seems to be far more interesting.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
If only one of them could stay giant by the end of the story, Lisa would definitely be humanity's safest bet. Kelly is way more complex, ambitious, has much less inhibitions and has her own agenda... I guess that makes her more interesting :) Now, seriously, Kelly is the character that helps moving the story forward. It would be impossible without her, her attitude and her intentions.
Cheers!
Date: September 26 2015 8:16 PM Title: PROLOGUE
I disagree with you considering her destruction of the Pentagon an evoultion in her character. She was already betshit crazy with power and had previously rationalized her crushing of innocents as inavoidable.
I wonder if you might be using Kelly too much for this story. Unless you intend to have someone either (a) HURT HER or (b) Suprise her
For example, someone delivers a logical and passionate speech about how she is no God and she will not be able to rule over anyone on her own. After all, it is obvious she is going to just step on people or play with them sadistcally. Either way, the human race will not surrender because it is human nature to not yield. Something like that.
BTW, does she know the President has left Washington?
At least I'm asuuming he has, or you're a crappy writer (no offense) because he's had plenty of warning and plenty of time to get out. So has the Vice President, and both of them should be at least twenty thousand feet above ground.
(WHAT ARE RON AND DR. MENDEL DOING??? WHERE ARE THEY???)
Aside from all that, good chapter, made me hate Hanson even more now.
"Cheers!"
Author's Response:
Well, I disagree with your disagreement ;)
It's very true that she is drunk with power and that she has previously rationalized that killing innocent people will be unavoidable. What has changed this time is that she is not accepting several deaths by accident. This time she is killing thousands of people on purpose and has created a justification for that that works well inside her head. She had previously killed thousands, but "only" in the heat of the battle. Now she has tagged an entire group of people as enemies and reached the conclusion that she is well within her rights to destroy them. This is yet another step in her dark path...
Kelly will be by far the character with more time in the story. Someone told me that since she has now become an antagonist (quite obviously), this might be causing some issues. I don't know if that is the case. I guess it could be, depending on the reader. In any case, Kelly is the character that is driving the story forward. Right now, both Casey and Lisa are reacting to Kelly's status or Kelly's actions. Kelly is the one that is creating a new storyline. This is the reason she is getting more attention (besides the fact that to me she is the most interesting character to write).
As for what will happen to her? As usual, I won't reveal any spoilers. I will just point out again that Kelly is an antagonist in this story. This has implications in the storyline...
The President has left Washington (he is still in the Air Force One, as in the previous chapter). Of course, Kelly does not know it (she has no means at all to know it), so she is heading for Washington with the "hope" of finding him there. In any case, finding the President is relevant but not key to her plans.
And Ron and Dr. Mendel will show up in the story, and when they do they will be very important. It's still a few more chapters before that happens, though.
I'm glad that you liked the chapter besides the points you disagreed on. I had already guesses that you would hate Kelly more after what she has done. No matter what she might rationalize in her head, slaughtering people by the thousands does not turn someone more popular...
I guess I'll change my typical ending, just for the sake of being unpredictable :P
Have fun!
[Report This]Date: September 26 2015 4:19 PM Title: Chapter 6. Payback
Holy crap is Kelly crazy with power. Love it! I just wonder how much longer the military can fight her before they give up. Are u gonna go to Casey next week and Lisa the week after that? As much as I want to see what they are doing I'm fascinated by what's going on with Kelly. Awesome!
Author's Response:
Kelly is definitely drunk with power. As I mentioned in a previous review, she is just looking for ways to rationalize the use of that power. In this case, the fact that the Pentagon contains some of the people that ordered the attacks on her gives her an excuse to use her power without inhibitions, which in the end, even if she doesn't want to admit it yet, makes her feel good.
Next week's chapter is focused on Lisa. And then you'll get Kelly again. She is, by far, the character with the most "screen time" in this story. I believe you will enjoy a lot of the chapters that are coming.
Cheers!
[Report This]Date: September 26 2015 1:35 PM Title: Chapter 6. Payback
Dont know what to say about this one, it was a massacre! I did like the little sections where you showed what was happening through the perspective of a normal person...It really cements the fact that these are real people not just fodder, and having them die because of carelessness or a direct attack at Kellys hands really makes me hate her more than I ever have. Id say if you want people to hate your villans keep doing this perspective shifting, before when it was just Kelly killing fodder I felt nothing but getting these little views from normal people just before they die really adds impact and gets the blood boiling. Im eager for thr next one keep it up!
Author's Response:
Yes, it really was a massacre. This chapter marks another step on Kelly's evolution. In her attempt to rationalize her own actions she first accepted that killing those that were attacking her was right, even when she was not at risk of being hurt. In the next step she accepted that due to her size fatal accidents would happen and that she could not prevent them all, so she should not feel guilty for them. And now she has gone and caused a real massacre which in her mind is justified because the Pentagon contained those that had ordered attacks on her.
The points of view from some of the little people had actually two objectives: on one hand to show a different perspective on the size difference and the consequences of Kelly's actions. On the other one, as you mention, to show that those in the Pentagon are real people, not just components of a uniform mass, and that many (most actually) of them have nothing to do at all with the attempts at attacking Kelly. Hence, showing these points of view was meant to help convey a little more how Kelly has changed and what is her impact in the world. I'm glad that you liked it.
BTW, I think you'll love next week's chapter :)
Cheers!
Date: September 26 2015 10:34 AM Title: PROLOGUE
I could suggest being more descriptive when the giantesses are on a rampage, really physically describe it even more so it paints an even clearer picture of it. Just a suggestion.
Author's Response:
I typically choose the level of "descriptiveness" depending on the chapter. Sometimes I deliberately stay away from getting more into the details in order to keep the pace going. Some other times I pay some attention to a specific scene and then move faster through some other action. I would say that this chapter is more or less in the middle in terms of "speed". There will be some other chapters where the rampage is going to be described with much more detail (and some others where the action will be hinted more than anything else).
I hope that I chose the right mix... you'll tell me as you read them.
Cheers!
Date: September 26 2015 10:14 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Haha I know but its infuriating when your story doesn't even last the night as most recent.
I can tell you love Kelly and so far you are right, this is the most intense action yet but I really hope its not the best because I want you to impress me.
Author's Response:
I know the feeling of having the story out of the most recent...
I can tell you that there will be a few more action packed chapters, some of them with Kelly. Chapter 6 is among my favorite ones, but I believe that there will be a couple of chapters closer to the end that you will especially enjoy. Having said this, I hope that you will also enjoy the chapters in between! :)
Cheers!
Date: September 26 2015 9:38 AM Title: Chapter 6. Payback
Brilliant stuff, Kelly accidentally crushing those people under oversized boobs! Easily the best character in this story and I really want to see her win this, who cares about Casey and Lisa?
She easily took out the Pentagon, tripping alone destroyed so much, keep it up!
Although you posted it right on top of my story grrrr.....
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback! I did not post right on top of Downtrodden on purpose :S
I'm glad that you liked the chapter. Volume 3 will have other action-based chapters like this one, but I think that this is one of the ones that came out best (you'll tell me by the end of the story...). It also explores a little more the quick evolution in Kelly's mentality.
Kelly is the character that is moving Volume 3 forward, definitely, but there will also be important moments for Casey and Lisa (next week, for example...). I guess that from my writing it can be noticed that I especially like Kelly as a character, in any case. But I hope that I'll be able to make you enjoy with the other two giantesses in the coming weeks, in any case.
Thanks again for commenting. I hope that you will continue enjoying the story.
Cheers!
[Report This]Date: September 21 2015 10:37 AM Title: Chapter 5. Decisions
Now we get to see what the government has planned. They are super scared and not thinking correctly. Did they get the memo Kelly easily wiped out an entire battalion?
Casey back inhenford? Girl on a mission!
What about Lisa?Pissed at Kelly for destruction and possible loss of her family. She knows she needs to get bigger. Can she?
Can't wait to see next weeks chapter.
Author's Response:
Yes, the President is definitely not thinking right. Some people in the crisis team are a little more rational, but I'm afraid that they are not able to get the President back on the right track, for the moment...
Casey is back in Henford. And yes, she is on a mission. Being back home will make her slow down enough to revive some of the moments in Volume 1 and to close some things that she left open.
And Lisa... for the first time she wants to become bigger. The question is, as you put it, whether she can.
Thanks for the feedback! I hope you will continue to enjoy!
Cheers!