[Report This]Date: August 21 2015 9:13 AM Title: Chapter 8
You seem to be updating this story the fastest. Dark stuff is fun to write I guess. :)
Also, what is up with you and the word "scowl"? I see it so often in your stories that I wonder if you got any other synonyms for it. Lol. The word is cool, but you use it a lot.
Wow, this was the best plot driven chapter yet! I learned so much! This chapter could be a story alone. Or at least half of it. We learn about the good guys and the bad guys. We learn how things got bad. We learn who to blame and we feel for those being teased and humiliated. This is great stuff!
Now I know who Jerry is, why Veronica and Valen are important to Anna, and most of all, why Caleb is Anna's worst enemy.
This chapter really helps if anyone is confused with the story. Makes me wonder if this should be chapter 1, or maybe chapter 2 in this case. The violent scene in chapter 1 is an attention grabber and I think that's what made people keep reading and reviewing this story. Good move.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
this story was a little more developed than some of the others I'm working on which is why the more frequent updates - you're making me scowl, kidding, but I'll be a little more self conscious from here on in, thanks for the feedback, as always.
[Report This]Date: August 21 2015 2:25 AM Title: Chapter 1
An application for release? This at least proves Anna's father has a desire to leave jail. Perhaps his work on Anna is not quiet finished yet? A few scars left incomplete, or something missing, maybe.
Anna is in what year in high school? Her father would have been imprisoned for almost twenty years depending on her age. Seems Anna has no hatred for her father. She barely even blinked at mention of his release. Either she is fearless, doesn't understand the implications of him, or has come to peace with what happened, perhaps.
Author's Response:
Hi vgiv, at the time of his capture, Adam Smith indicated he wasn't finished with Anna, at that time she was 11. He has spent 6 years 'getting better'. Anna is a junior in high school - Caleb a senior, Rachel a sophmore. You're right, the prospect of his release did not seem to be of any particular concer to her. Another consideration is that she has mentally blocked the worst of those memories away and is still suffering from some deep underlying psychological issues that were never completely resolved. Let's find out. :)
[Report This]Date: August 19 2015 9:01 PM Title: Chapter 7
So Dad's coming back. I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing for Anna.
She didn't hate her Dad becuase he gave her those scars and said that he did it becuase he loved her. Now she is older and probably realizes that what her father did was torture.
Maybe Anna will get revenge on him.
With all this media involved, I have a feeling that Anna is going to unleash her inner goddess toward them, and immediately she will regret it. Instead of people wanting to ask her questions, they will be afraid to approach her. Soon, Anna gets left alone, enjoys the peace and quiet, but it won't last long until she feels lonely and wishes that she can have attention again. Just a thought.
Does her mother know of Anna's super powers? Or did she think that Anna was going to throw up and that's why she apologized for her daughter's behaviour?
Now, does her Dad know about her powers? Her dad knows something is special. I guess we will find that out soon.
Um...who is Jerry? Is he the Dad? I don't remember the dads name.
When Anna swore at the crowd, I bet the felt a roar, or a gust of wind as she yelled. I mean, with all that commotion, how does a girl's yell hush a crowd like that? It's gotta be part of her power!
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Jerry is the step dad. We're on the verge of a couple big revelations in this one, hang on, it's going to get bumpy!
Date: August 19 2015 8:35 PM Title: Chapter 1
Huh...very interesting. Dark and sadistic, yes, but quite a curious plot. I'll be paying attention to this one...
Author's Response:
Atypically dark for my tales, but hopefully everything will mesh together and make sense in the end.
[Report This]Date: August 19 2015 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 7
Those kids are absolute dicks and deserve what's coming to them. I'm going to assume the Goddess is a completely seperate entity from Anna's self (like a demonic possesion, the demon takes control of your body and your consciousness just gets shoved into a corner to watch). I really hope she doesn't hurt any of "the vessel"'s friends like Veronica or her step sister (maybe she'll recruit them for her reign of destruction). You will get massive, MASSIVE bonus points from me if the Goddess speaks in the voice of the legion (multiple overlapping voices) and/or has other otherworldly attributes.
This is deserving of r/nosleep.
*fangirl squeal*
10/10 would recommend.
Author's Response:
The pieces will come together shortly, I shall not disappoint such high praise, ;)
[Report This]Date: August 19 2015 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 7
So he's finally out, eh?
I'm expecting something to happen to Anna soon enough.
Author's Response:
So very very soon
[Report This]Date: August 18 2015 1:54 AM Title: Chapter 1
You mentioned that Anna's father carved chunks out of her flesh, correct? But it was also mentioned he used a scalpel to make a kind of Glasgow tattoo, scar, mark symbol. I'm confused, is the flesh gouged out to make the marks or is it simply cutting with the scalpel?
Love the concept for the story. I actually do love the bang effect the first chapter had, reminiscent of psychological thrillers where it begins with a murder, then cuts to four days ago or something similar. The very fast updates help.
Perhaps something in particular makes Anna so violent? But I get a feeling it has something to do with the goddess awakening. Perhaps a direct possession over Anna? Or maybe it simply strengthens her?
Either or totally different I am hooked.
Author's Response:
Thanks vgiv for sharing a review. Anna has both type of scarification, as cuneiform marks were gobbets of flesh removed, while the circular design and star on her back were made by incision. I probably could've clarified that a little better - inciteful question on your part, thanks.
[Report This]Date: August 17 2015 9:08 PM Title: Chapter 6
Yay! Another update!
Author's Response:
I'll keep'em coming!
Date: August 17 2015 8:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good so far!
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to read the story and share a review
[Report This]Date: August 17 2015 7:29 PM Title: Chapter 6
The yellow eyes are back!
She's a goddess!
She's one of them!
I still wonder what was her father trying to do...
But wow, this girl was probably the child of a goddess and the goddess came to human form as her mother and when they made Anna, she got the powers and her father doesn't like it. Maybe. Just speculation, but the yellow eyes always means that shit just got real.
Are Anna's eyes yellow? I'm not sure.
Interesting, some things were answered, and perhaps the other questions later.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
You know my stories too well Tom - yellow eyes mean shit is going down! In the first chapter Anna eyes are green flecked with gold. In later chapters, so far they are only green
Date: August 17 2015 2:34 PM Title: Chapter 5
Screw GTS content. I'm loving the background content enough!
Author's Response:
I am building up to it I swear!!!
[Report This]Date: August 16 2015 2:12 PM Title: Chapter 5
Did they check if her father put something inside Anna? I mean, if these cuts and scars are that bad and deep, then maybe is was some sort of surgery and something happened.
You mentioned that these scars were in a symbolic design. Does this mean that her father perfermed experiments on Anna?
If Anna were an alien with a human head, the whole world would react the same way. That's how bad her wounds seem to be.
I feel bad for Anna, and I feel bad for her father for some reason. However, I wonder why he did this stuff to his daughter.
Guesses: #1 Anna was kidnapped by people and they made her swallow a bomb. Her father rescued her and cut her up trying to find the bomb. He never managed to find it, yet, which is why he didn't want to lose Anna right away.
Guess#2 Her father was bullied as a kid, so her father decided to make her have super powers which is what she used against Trevor. These super powers makes Anna's scars hurt and that's why she gets pain as well when she uses these powers.
Guess-#3 Anna is a robot, but is engineered to be as realistic as possible, making the typical human believe that she is a human as well. Her father is a crazy genius and doesn't want police to reveal that info. Also, he doesn't his daughter to have surgery becuase then they will realize that she is a robot.
I really want to know the entirety of Anna's past so I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey Tom I am glad you are getting into this story and trying to figure what the heck is going on. How and why the first chapter happened the way it did. Anna has suffered immensely at the hands of her father. She is human and the why will be revealed. Youre_my_slave has been pretty astute in predicting some of what's to come. I appreciate more than you know getting feedback and know that the stories are entertaining l. Hope I can keep you guessing :)
Date: August 15 2015 1:50 PM Title: Chapter 4
I shall wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: August 14 2015 9:22 PM Title: Chapter 4
Caleb doesn't seem that bad actually. He sounds like one of those people that insult or tease someone that they like or have a crush on. He probably just wants to see these girls mad, but I don't feel the hatred going to them. Maybe he does something later to piss them off. Right now, it looks like playful comebacks.
Is Veronica aware of Anna's abilities? I don't think so, becuase she gets confused when Anna is exhausted.
Valan and Veronica seem a little too nice to Anna. Especially Valan. I truly wonder how they became friends or if someone told Veronica and Valan to comfort Anna.
Not much happened in this chapter. Caleb did some insults, and Valan try to offersome help. That seems about it. Is this a build up for something? A typical day of Anna's life?
However, while not much happened, this chapter had great dialogue.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Just trying to link elements together, no Veronica doesn't know and as the back story catches up to the main story, we'll see how the V's linked up with Anna
Date: August 13 2015 11:16 PM Title: Chapter 3
My money's on either a.) A pentagram b.) the area's been skinned or c.) Either the word "devil" "demon" "Satan" or "harbinger"
Author's Response:
You'll see again you're close with the shape. The devil demon stuff is too simple and overplayed. I did really like the harbinger though. Thanks for taking the time to read this for sharing a review.
Date: August 13 2015 10:30 PM Title: Chapter 1
I have to admit, I'm really glad I kept reading this story. Chapter 3 was some box office stuff right there. It's becoming one of your better stories. I thought it was going to be the worst, but now it's pretty darn good.
Remember when I said "I kinda um can't wait for the next chapter"? Yea, well, not anymore.
I really, really can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Glad you stuck around and are enjoying the story as we learn how Anna did what she did in chapter 1. As always thanks for the review
[Report This]Date: August 13 2015 10:28 PM Title: Chapter 3
Cliffhanger 10/10.
Enough said.
Thriller, action packed, suspenseful. Brilliant.
Rare short but sweet review this time. I have no words for how awesome this story has become.
Date: August 13 2015 6:13 PM Title: Chapter 3
The dark side revealed.
You have me captivated. Let's see where our protagonist takes this story. :D
Author's Response:
Indeed let us see where this leads ;)
Date: August 13 2015 11:15 AM Title: Chapter 2
Interesting to say the least.
[Report This]Date: August 12 2015 7:59 PM Title: Chapter 2
I'm starting to think that maybe Anna's dad wasn't really an evil man, but knew what his daughter (son? Gender identity issues+scars=possible castration and raised femme?) was destined to become and tried to stop it before it came to pass.
The only thing that irks me (which honestly is a personal thing) is that people in these situations go for years without knowing what they "truly" are then suddenly their sweet persona goes total 180 murderous. I don't know. Your story's great.
Author's Response:
Thank you taking the time to review. Your observation of Anna's father is very astute. Is he a deranged madman trying to promote the transformation or is he a doting father who knows what's coming and trying to prevent it. I want to keep that ambiguous until it's time to wrap this up. Anna is definitely female. Your peeve about suddenly personality inversion without some plausible explanation is well found and undermines a good story. Hopefully mine will make sense and not diminish this yarn. :)