Date: June 15 2015 3:04 PM Title: na
Overall, I enjoyed this story. It was well paced and the action was well described.
I thought the characters could have used a little bit more description, and you could have given more to their relationship. I liked the dynamic of she's kinky and he's not, but you could have added little things here and there to make their relationship more palpable.
I love butt play, so the last chapter was great! I thought describing the smell as rotten cheese was a bit strange because I kept imagining actual cheese. Maybe try describing the smell without using a comparison? I also like him being attached to the thong, but I thought it was odd that you didn't mention Amanda's butthole once, esepcially since the whole thing started with his refusal to lick her butthole. I thought for sure her was going to have to perform the world's biggest rimjob!!
Author's Response:
Thanks! This being a short story, I didn't want to add too much into the characters, as giving them their general personalities served it's purpose. And the comparison of smells was to give a context to the readers.