Date: August 04 2015 10:58 PM Title: Chapter 25
Please continue writing!! you are so good and I dont waant this amazing series to just kind of fade off like all the other half finished ones. Also when will the book be finished and cant wait for more on serah and her love interest in the legion!! keep up the awesome work!!
Author's Response:
I will keep writing, just feeling a little weary juggling a half dozen balls in the air at the same time. It wouldn't be right to just leave it.
[Report This]Date: August 01 2015 4:49 PM Title: Chapter 25
I just had a horrible thought. What if Lily's circle are the true brains behind behind the Hidden Path? Puppet masters, as it were, using plutocrats like the late, unlamented Halston to circumvent this Covenant?
Author's Response:
That would be a great twist but I think I'd need a 'do over' to plant some subtle seeds alluding to the link. Maybe though. Not sure how much is left in the tank for this tale though :(
[Report This]Date: July 31 2015 11:10 PM Title: Chapter 25
More people are reviewing your newer stories. I hope they review this one as well.
Cade just doesnt get it. When the same mysterious woman shows up at your place and is super confident, then you shoukd be afraid, not laugh. Golden eyes are a bad sign. Hilde will sure enjoy him.
Cade- "How does a woman like you carry me up here?"
Hilde's thinking- "I shrunk you, put you inside me, and walked over here while you gave me pleasure".
I wish that was her answer. I want Hilde to scare Cade. I mean, he laughs at her threats!
Wow, that explains everything. Jessa got Selene a replacement tiny man. A perfect substitute.
Speaking of substitute tiny guys. I remember one story that a woman was going to have sex with her tiny husband. The husband hated it, becuase he was cheating on him for another girl. The other girl wanted him to divorce his wife and stay with him, so she got a replacement tiny man to take his place. She took the husband secretly and the wife had sex with the replacement guy. She had no idea it was him, becuase his face was all wet in lots of sticky fluid. (I love stories that use substitute men).
Im not sure if Jessa knows Jack's value or if she is trying to downvalue Jack to Selene.
I wonder what is happenning to Jack. Especially now that no one will be looking for him. Selene totally bought that decoy and beleived Jessa.
I also wonder how Selene is going to explain the "mishandle" on "The hammer". (Im not good with wordplay as Carycomic, but thats what I got.)
I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey Tom thanks for the review. I hope others can find enjoyment in this story like others but it is pretty complex and involved so who knows. Not sure how much longer for this one maybe sooner than later.
[Report This]Date: July 16 2015 1:31 PM Title: Chapter 24
Jack's treatment, at Lily's hands, might give him some much needed humbling. But, as the Three Goddesses revered by Hilde's circle are (presumably) the same ones revered by her own, and that they gave custody of Jack to Hilde and Company, I think Lily might be over-estimating her untouchability factor.
Author's Response:
I haven't really established the parameters of the Covenant in my stories yet, so there might be some latitude for Lily, but Jack is certainly in a whole different zip code now with no apparent way back, :0
[Report This]Date: July 16 2015 11:54 AM Title: Chapter 24
Holy Shit!
Hilde is like Palpatine in Star Wars! She's about to betray everyone!
This is all one crazy situation!
First Jessa is evil, and now Hilde.
Lily is smart, but Selene is dumber than I thought. She used to be so cunning. Now she is oblivious that Jack is not with her.
I mean what was Selene doing in the car? Wasnt she gonna check on Jack? She was waiting and smiling as Jesse came back. Unlesss......Selene knew! and Selene is playing it off like she doesnt know!
Did Jessa even grab her purse, or any purse in that regard? That was her excuse to leave Selene, yet Im not sure if Jessa ever returned to Selene with a purse.
Isnt Medusa a god? I may be wrong, but that name sounds familiar.
Wow! Jack sleeping with a snake! I thought Lily didnt want him to die. Intersting to see Lily just use him, but im not sure if she recognizes Jack's value. She knows that he was a special thing on his arm, but it doesnt seem to bother Lily.
Very interesting chapter, and I wonder what will Selene's reaction as well as the other girls reaction's will be.
I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
LOL, Hey Tom, Hilde is a Soulreaper, who knows what she capable of? Don't worry about Selene, she is VERY astute and excdeptionally cunning, don't let her pretty purple eyes fool you. Medusa is the snaky haired gorgon sister killed by Perseus in greek mythology. Jack is simply an acquisition to Lily, she has little regard for her new plaything Smudge.
[Report This]Date: July 04 2015 5:38 PM Title: Chapter 23
Trevor and Luka are down, Arvin and Jimmy left alive. And of course Jack is still alive.
Serah knows how to interrogate. Hilde uses all these techniques, but Serah just uses old fashioned threats. She got her information need very quickly.
Jack is getting a little too popular. First, the girls that captured him, then Hilde, then Clarrissa, then Selene, then Lily(and that whole club), and now Serah.
When these women eat men all the time, you realize how lucky Jack is to one, be alive, and second, be of interest to so many of these women.
I just read chapter 2 of the 'Apex' and in both these chapters you mentioned someone breaking legs. First Henry, and now Trevor. Also, they both died shortly after.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Jack is getting a little cocky isn't he? Hmm
[Report This]Date: July 04 2015 12:24 PM Title: Chapter 23
Please don't tell me Garth was the one who de-virginized Serah. The son vicariously answering for the sins of the father is kind of an over-used cliche' when it comes to gts-torture!
Author's Response:
2 things. 1) Nope not Garth, 2) Who is to say Serah is not still virginal? :)
[Report This]Date: June 25 2015 12:05 AM Title: Chapter 22
Man, at this rate, this story has the potential to reach 100 chapters! I mean, we are still meeting new people each chapter! It's not a bad thing of course, but rather incredible.
I can't tell who the villian is or if there is even a villian. At first I thought it was the girls who caught Jack, then I thought Hilde, then Arvin and his crew, and now it looks like Lily and her crew(or circle).
I thought Selene was horny enough to use him before getting in the car, but now she has patience and decides to show off Jack.
Hmm, Jessa doesn't sound as sexy as Selene, and she uses what I think as a (past friend) excuse to get a chance to have fun with Jack. Also, I think she works with Lily. I don't trust her.
Lily sounds super sexy and deceptive. I love her attitude. She played off her disappointment like a champ when Selene said that Clarrissa ordered for Selene to have Jack. Also, by Lily pursuing Selene, this means that Lily isn't exactly intimidated by Clarrissa's decision.
Jack cussing out Jessa was funny. I bet if it was any other tiny, he would've been swalllowed on the spot. Jack only lives becuase he is special.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: June 24 2015 5:45 PM Title: Chapter 22
Oh, shit! It looks like these circles have an underlying rivalry that would make a gang war with the Outfit look like a 1960's love-in.
Author's Response:
There certainly may be some unresolved issues between different circles...
[Report This]Date: June 16 2015 2:46 AM Title: Chapter 21
It's been so long that I don't remember who Garth is. I guess he is the creator of the dark magic or something. He seems powerful, and he doesn't care about being held against his will. In fact, he embraces it like a challenge. Some might call him crazy, but I find it entertaining, especially when he messes up their minds.
He made Clarrissa think she was pregnant, or Clarrissa expected something special and the feeling of pain created by Clarice was compared to that of pregnancy.
Now there is this connection between these women. I knew there was one, but it seems like they can all feel it in their genitals? Maybe. I mean, if it was pain that Clarissa felt, then a pain in the lower abdomen was the signal.
So when Selene felt it, she gave a loud gasp, which is probably because she felt it down there as well.
Then Selene just pushes the bouncer, similar to Hilde pushing the other random dude from an earlier chapter. Since it was in a club, I wonder if there were any witnesses to the bouncer becoming unconscious.
And not just that. Selene herself is attractive, I'm sure, and sure that her alone can attract attention, and the combination of an attractive lady plus her being able to drag the bouncer like that.....wouldn't that raise suspicion? Then again, it's a club, so they might be all drunk.
You know, I always overlook this, but I appreciate the fact that you put bolded text to identify a new event in a chapter. It really helps when I look over it.
Hilde's house has been a place of transition. First, with Cade, he set himself in a trap by revealing his presence in her house, and now he got captured within that house. Jack is now tiny, and in another house that belongs to a superior woman.
Is Garth still inside Clarrissa? At that dining table, Garth said he wasn't shrunk, but rather the women were all giantesses. So if Clarrissa is now normal sized, does Garth shrink down as well? I guess that makes sense.
Yes! Thank you Clarrissa for keeping Jack small! And thank you for giving him to Selene! (I wouldn't mind Clarrissa keeping Jack to herself, but she already has Garth). Now I'm ready for some fun with Selene, especially with her playful, yet seductive attitude.
All the women get a mini man, and Hilde gets 2. One for sexual interrogation, and the other for sexual integration.
Great stuff as always, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey Tom, next chapter should be coming pretty soon. Arvin, Jack & Selene will be featured. Fleshing out other characters will continue to be prominent in the next little too. hope you continue to enjoy.
[Report This]Date: June 15 2015 10:39 PM Title: Chapter 21
I have no doubt that Selene will probably finally meet her kinky match in Jack. But, I have to wonder if even his hyper-libidinous stamina would make Serah defrost.
Author's Response:
The next installment for this story should be along shortly and Selene has a surprise for Jack. :)
[Report This]Date: June 07 2015 7:53 PM Title: Chapter 1
Intriguing story man! Well done!
I wasn't sure where this was headed, even after the hunt scenes. I thought it would get supernatural pretty quickly with some ominous danger looming in the distance, but the story took a wonderful turn after that, especially the last chapter that has me completely hooked.
You devise your characters really well. They pop out your writing and become alive so easily in my head, especially the male characters. I'm not sure if it's because of the nature of the story, but you definitely write the males much better than the females. They all seem the same, to be perfectly honest. Except Hilde of course, she's definitely apart from all the others.
Lastly, I can definitely say that your writing style is among the best I've seen here around, most likely the best. As a fellow writer, I can only learn from you. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the tremendous compliment considering the number of talented writers sharing their work. The female characters for the most part require a broader brush to properly depict for me, though Clarice, Hilde, and Abbie are fleshing out well. I hope i can continue to provide a quality story that readers enjoy.
Date: June 05 2015 3:58 PM Title: Chapter 20
You have me completely hooked! Don't let clarisse die please :/ jack and her make a nice couple.
So far this has been one of the best stories I've read on this site, so I'm longing for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks tingle01. the next chapter should be along in the next little while. glad you are enjoying it.
[Report This]Date: June 05 2015 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 20
Oh, Arvin, you over-ambitious shithead! You are going to pay big-time for that. :-(
[Report This]Date: June 05 2015 2:27 AM Title: Chapter 20
First off, what a chapter! It felt twice as long as the previous one.
Second, I love Hilde's outfit. All black and tight. Good choice. It gives a hint of sexy, but deadly.
Hilde not in the mood? Hmmm. She really wants Cade, and only Cade. I thought she wouldnt mind an appetizer, but guess she has a higher priority on Cade. She knew that random guy was tempting, but I like her attitude. Job first, then have her fun.
I bet if Hilde ignored that ripped guy one more time, he would have grabbed her. She probably sensed it too, so good move to push him and let him know who is boss.
Geez, Clarice is horny. She wants him all the time. I loved the facesitting scene. That was a nice touch.
Jack had to refuel because of continuous sex. Clarice is even hard to satisfy. You would think that she is new to this stuff, especially since she is so young and that she would reach her climax earlier, but she seems very experienced. Not a good or bad thing, just interesting.
Clarice seems like that typical teen. She is kinda reckless, not just with her driving, but with also her decision making. She wants a tatoo just because Hilde has one, and also she doesnt realize hints of danger when strangers (to her) ask her to get in a car. Yep, recipe for disaster.
I like Jimmy. Old acquaintance, similar to Cade, and seems like one of the good guys.
Trevor, man he just wants to get paid. So anxious to get the job done. However, I feel like that will be his last job.
Cade, Poor Detective Cade. He keeps getting involved with powerful, crazy people. First Hilde, then Arvin.
Speaking of Arvin, I started liking him as he was introduced into the story. At first he wanted answers, and thats understandable. However, when he threatens Clarice, thats a big no-no. First off, that makes Jack pissed at Arvin. Second, it makes all those women with "magic" pissed at Arvin. And when you piss off those women, its game over. I just have this feeling that the other women will sense Clarice's pain and location and avenger her.
For example, Selene. Wasnt she following them? I bet she watched the entire thing unfold, and is probably now debating what to do. Of course, she could just walk in and shrink em all down.
Is Clarice dead? Or did she just pass out or something? I couldnt tell, but at least we know that it was Arvin's fault and I think he is going to lose his power soon.(maybe to Selene?)
I love Arvin's reaction to Jack's anecdote. He doesnt believe that lovely women have defeated Jack and Tony and that Jack made it up. Hilde can easily change his mentality. She might "rescue" Cade and punish Arvin. Then she will play with Cade. Or....Arvin will be given to Selene. Now that would be entertaining.
Great stuff as always, and I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey Tom, thanks for the reviews, curious to see where this might go. Clarice has only just been awakened and is supercharged and now she is shot...
Date: June 05 2015 1:15 AM Title: Chapter 1
Glad to help. However, by editing the chapter, I think my review for chapter 19 disappeared, so now I kinda forgot what I mentioned in it.
Well, at least I know it was a good review. :)
[Report This]Date: June 02 2015 9:12 AM Title: Chapter 19
Ah! So, Cade vs. Hilde isn't going to be the plot of a sequel? But, the continuation of this story? Oddly enough, I'm glad to have guessed wrong!
[Report This]Date: May 29 2015 2:31 PM Title: Chapter 1
Just begun reading this one (Chapter 5 so far). You're a really good writer man! Keep up the good work. Can't wait to see how this little threesome develops. :D
Author's Response:
Thank you, enjoy!
[Report This]Date: May 29 2015 12:39 AM Title: Chapter 18
Hilde is like an assassin. Silent and swift and leaves no evidence around. Except she shrinks people instead of killing them.
You do a great job introducing characters.
I feel for Cade. Good rep, then one mistake leads to his downfall. All of a sudden, he strives to redeem himself and this case is not helping him.
Hilde is having fun on the other hand. She is a cat just toying with her mouse, ready to pounce when Cade is vulnerable or considered a threat.
Who knew that a simple robbery would lead to all this? This story just keeps getting bigger and deeper!
I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey tom,
Hilde is certainly someone not to be trifled with, not so simple a robbery, :)
[Report This]Date: May 28 2015 6:03 PM Title: Chapter 18
An excellent set-up for the sequel. Bravo!
Author's Response:
Thanks, we have to see where it goes from here.