[Report This]Date: May 22 2015 9:09 PM Title: People Things
I... Didn't see that coming. I honestly didn't think she was going to run away, but I know why she would. I think she was broken ages ago, and she was in this strange abusive relationship with her sisters.
I don't think she can do it, though.
By the way, do you already know how this story is going to end, or are you writing as you go?
Author's Response:
June definitely has her reasons to run.
I have an outline that covers major events, character points, etc., so I know the ending and how it plays out. I try to keep the outline loose enough so the story feels natural and even spontaneous on how it progresses. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
[Report This]Date: May 22 2015 6:40 AM Title: People Things
Run away? She should be grateful! Living at those two's feet is great!
Author's Response:
That's definitely one interpretation. Maybe she just needs some downtime. Thanks for reviewing.
[Report This]Date: May 22 2015 6:09 AM Title: People Things
May's antics have struck me as more malevolent than not since the first chapter with her. Intellectually, she has to know that her tiny sister is in extreme discomfort when she keeps her in her shoe, but she just doesn't care. June is a toy to her, nothing more really.
April, on the other hand, seems to care a little, otherwise she wouldn't have bought and started reading a book to her. It obviously wasn't for that "favor", as she could have had her sister doing that for her regardless.
And that description you gave of June's physical condition... if her sisters could truly get a good look at her I imagine they'd be shocked at what they've done. Or at least April would. Not sure about May.
Author's Response:
You're right in that May's a lot more cruel than April, but at the base level they don't want her dead or even seriously hurt. They know their limits, and it's up for the reader to decide how much they really care, which is exactly why it's written like this. But yeah, her sister's definitely need a wake up call. Thanks for the review.
[Report This]Date: May 22 2015 12:18 AM Title: People Things
Curious to see where this goes...
Author's Response:
Same here, we definitely have a first hand idea of what could happen if she doesn't succeed, and even if she does, what then?
Date: May 22 2015 12:07 AM Title: People Things
Oh wow, this sequence snaps back and forth through reality really helped Juniper make up her mind. Running away sounds pretty big but I just hope it leads her sisters to some sort of revelation that they treat her like crap.
Although this site isn't known for having the giant characters have a change of heart in treating the tiny ones better. I will be watching intently, to see if Juniper can even pull off an escape and find the city of tiny people.
Author's Response:
I'm actually pretty happy the little dream sequence turned out how it did. It definitely fuels her motivation to get out...other than the daily doses of hell.
I won't say much about the ending, but it'll be worth sticking with our little hero.
Funny enough you mention city of tiny people, cause I have another story on deck with something similar, but I'm waiting until I finish this, so all my efforts aren't divided.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2015 1:16 PM Title: About That Favor
Wow. I was expecting something a bit... more inspiring? Hopefully she gets what she wants out of that book.
The moment at the end when April lifts her with her foot is extremely well done. You say it in as little words as possible, but I cringed with the feeling of her mental state.
I honestly felt like I wanted to go in there and... yea, it's not gonna happen.
*sigh*
Every time I read your story my blood boils, and that's an amazing thing to be able to do. You're just so damn good at expressing the inner thoughts of a character and showing the disparity. April thinks this is a joke, she just doesn't have the slightest point of reference.
Is she EVER gonna get some sort of relief? I just want them to know how she feels, but I don't know how you, as a writer, could even DO that. It feels like it's been going on forever for her, and I really wish that now - when we're introduced to this story - we're at the turning point.
But until then, my blood boils.
Nice work.
Author's Response:
Hot damn, I don't know whether to be ashamed or proud on how this made you feel. I definitely understand what you're getting at. One can only take this kind of abuse for so long even if it was intended to be just a good natured joke at times. Juniper's already starting to be fed up, so who knows what's going to send her over the edge. Anyways, thanks for the review, and I'm glad you're sticking with it.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2015 7:04 AM Title: About That Favor
I'd love to be friends with her sisters.
Author's Response:
I'd like to think they're pretty chill... as long as you're not the size of a toy to them.
Date: May 19 2015 4:03 AM Title: About That Favor
Whew. Well this was fun timing with your review on my story. I'd actually taken a peek at your first chapters earlier yesterday to lament that you hadn't updated in a while, which was why I mentioned it in the reply.
I continue to really enjoy the increasingly complex dynamic of the sisters. June definitely has a real web of a love/hate relationship here, since she's clearly able to go from almost rationalizing May's wearing her in a shoe, to cursing out April's playfulness. Like you said, you don't ramble, and just pick out words with punch, making each interaction of the characters feel unique. The dialogue feels natural too.
I do sincerely hope you'll keep it up with this one. There are really only about 3 ongoing stories currently that I've become invested enough to keep checking for updates, and this is definitely one of them, so it was a pleasant surprise to see it pop up.
Author's Response:
Oh gosh, hearing that really made my day. I definitely appreciate your reviews.
The sisters are just as fun as they are complex because I have to keep asking myself what can Juniper tolerate, which is probably what the older sisters ask themselves every day.
Date: May 18 2015 10:59 PM Title: Inured
No problem and yes, I'm back to updating. Never intended to let all my stories drag for a year so I'll am aiming to finish them by the time college starts in August.
I usually set a minimum length for my stories but whatever works for the writer I suppose, as long as the pacing is good and the story is told well.
Author's Response:
If it's any consolation, this chapter was intended to go up a day or two after the last one, so you're not the only one getting their stories slowed down by life.
My motto for writing has been "Write gud" Or even "Why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick."
[Report This]Date: May 18 2015 10:56 PM Title: About That Favor
Those big loving sisters, gotta love em
Author's Response:
Well someone has to, because I don't think June's willing to return their love. Thanks for the review.
Date: May 18 2015 10:01 PM Title: About That Favor
Short but you're right, you said what you needed. Nice to see you back , its a nice chapter to read and you gave us some insight into the past.
Author's Response:
Hey thanks! I see you're back to updating as well. This chapter actually says quite a bit for being so short, but I've never been one to ramble on for too long. Anyways, I definitely appreciate the review.
Date: April 22 2015 6:54 AM Title: Puppy-dog Eyes
Reading this book may be an eye opening experience for April to the realities her tiny sister faces.
Author's Response:
The book definitely opens up a lot of oppurtunities to where this story goes, and that's definitely a possibility. Thnks for reviewing.
Date: April 22 2015 4:06 AM Title: Inured
Nice of April to allow Juniper a chance to know what the book is about. As for Juniper's payment, I hope its not too degrading.
Author's Response:
I'm sure it won't be too bad. Anyways thanks for the review.
[Report This]Date: April 22 2015 1:44 AM Title: Puppy-dog Eyes
I'm loving this family more and more
Author's Response:
Me too, dude. I'm having a lot of fun with the three of them.
Date: April 22 2015 1:09 AM Title: Inured
I find myself more and more interested in the conclusion of this story somedat. I honestly wanna see a happy ending really bad for this one. Even though the chapters aren't too long, they are written well and do good at explaining what is happening. All I can say is keep doin what your doin man :-D
Author's Response:
Thanks! I think we both want to see her end up better off, but we'll just have to wait and see.
[Report This]Date: April 13 2015 2:22 PM Title: Inured
So I'm gonna drop yet ANOTHER review. God I wish this place had a comment system.
Anyways, the cage was possibly my favorite part. It's very creative, I don't think I've ever seen that before, and it's so... perfect. Stuff here gets pretty dry and 'checklist,' but you certainly have a talent. Even inshoe, which I'm a huge fan of and probably wouldn't ever get bored of, you do well, mostly because you added that other element of what happens with that tiny, which by far is one of my favorite scenes. Has June literally never seen another tiny?
This reminds me a whole lot of The Insole Girl, which you might beat as my favorite story on this sight (it's a tie,) but this whole 'not entirely evil' deal is definitely something I like.
I might get into that in the future. This story, especially with your dynamic, is certainly opening my horizons to what's possible in this genre, and I've already got a few ideas I don't think have been tried before. Keep going, and I have to say this twice because the views aren't that great (wait for it,) you're onto some amazing stuff.
Author's Response:
My biggest complaint about the premise is the fact that it's mostly used as a throwaway explanation to why the character is shrunken before the story goes into checklist mode. I feel like with the excessive use of the shrinking disease/gene I need to do something that stands out, and it's super cool to know that it's working. As for the scene with the other tiny, June hasn't seen another tiny in person, but she's heard of them and seen at least one on tv to know they're real before she shrunk. So seeing another tiny alive and in front of her is definitely something to be shocked at in her point of view.
The fact that you put this story up with The Insole Girl is probably one of the most flattering things I've heard, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't take inspiration from it. I wanted this to feel similar but be it it's own thing, so hopefully it's coming across that way.
This genre's definitely a blank check among other scenarios, and I'll definitely look out for whatever you have in mind.
Date: April 11 2015 10:45 PM Title: July
Wow. It's these kinds of chapters that are just... I dunno.
It's weird to see family bonding and humiliation in the same story. It's like they don't do it on purpose, or they do it for a purpose? I dunno. For the first time ever, I am actually confused to the family dynamics here. Usually people are either cruel or gentle in these stories - it gets boring - and here is actual good feelings.
Grah! You're hurting my mind!
Author's Response:
There's a gray area with April and May for sure. We're very limited in the unbiased truth, and all we can really use is Juniper's word. I think that's what makes this chapter much more surprising. Up until this point, Juniper has been painting them as heartless, but there's much more than that. Anyways thanks for the review.
Date: April 11 2015 8:19 AM Title: Inured
@smoki, ya know it. I will inflict a tsunami of pain on those who cross my favourite characters.
Date: April 11 2015 7:39 AM Title: Inured
Nostory = Equalizer of oppressed from gts cvommunity lol U rule man
Author's Response:
He's definitely doing a lot more for them than I am.
Date: April 11 2015 7:20 AM Title: Inured
SO they aren't totally bad but I still wish for someone to make her sisters pay for their bullying against Juniper.
Author's Response:
Ditto. I'll just say that "tiny, protective, legislation, population" will factor somewhere in the story. But then again, for all we know it could be "the tiny humans have been exploiting their protective legislation, and I intend to suggest actions to control the dependent diminutive population." Or even, "Those Cutie oranges are super tiny, and I'm always protective of them when my siblings come around. I just hope legislation passes to make them more accessible to the population."