[Report This]Date: March 08 2015 8:09 AM Title: March Madness
I said I would review so here I am!! Thanks so much for writing again, Im literally already in love with the plot, and Im honest this was the best chapter mostly youll done yet, you become better and better as an author!! Length of the chapter was awesome, I really like longer ones. You did such a great job for the jumps between locations and time lines. Plot and characters are very good ordered and detailed already, to sum it up, awesome introduction chapter!! :-) And here it comes, the plot seems to be fantastic in this story!! Im so in love with it and I imagine all the things it could go and it makes me so damn curious and want to read so much how it continues!! The first part of the chapter blew me away, not jsut because of the erotic parts which you wrote out so great, but because of that ... bam... moments, that it was Simon. I totally had Tommy in mind of course, and I guess every reader of your previous work too!! Wow, such a fantastic twist, amazing idea. I can imagine this could lead to some serious consequences, especially paired with the plot of the four going on a holiday trip. The best is how you build it all up and having Tommy really horny, I guess he wont be "happy" if he ever finds about. This could lead to a fascinating "mistake" and maybe some horrible confusion. What if Tommy finds out Simon had sex with his gf, and totally blinded because of hate and jealousy he thinks Simon became like Bobby, and that Simon wanted to shrink Tommy and get rid of him, which was not true of course, and Tommys jealousy leads to shrink Simon to such a tiny size that he wont even be able to communicate anymore with Tommy and tell him he didnt mean to do anything like this, and Tommy litereally did a horrible mistake, thinking doing the right thing. I also loved the mid part of the story so much, of Simon lazily waking up, and eating some food, how his stomach growled, so awesome. I know youre not into male vore, but I still wish youd implement one in the future one day with Tommy or Simon. Loved the conversation between Tommy and Simon a lot, especially that ironic part where Simon commented on that part where Tommy wanted to be finally inside his gf aha :-) I also imagined, what if Tommy remembres this part later, and gets the wrong conclousion about it, that Simon was planing to shrink Tommy. Of course this isnt true, and yes Simon did a bad thing, by sleeping with Tommys gf, and he would feel horrible because of it. But he still was Tommys friend, it's just how boys are. I could think of Tommy totally seeing "red" and not realizing what's really going on, leading so some horrible consequences. Amazing plot, I love it so much. Thanks for writing again :-) <3
Author's Response:
Thanks, glad you liked it! I was wondering how youd take the twist at the beginning! Since that part happens three days after the rest of this chapter, the fallout from that wont be dealt with until later and a bunch of the story is going to be building up to and explaining how it got to that point, which Im really excited about writing! As for what happens after that and as for how the whole plot unfolds, youll just have to wait and see!!! ;) I especially liked how you gave me feedback on my writing and the structure of the plot, as well as interest in the story itself. This is exactly what i like to se in a review! Thanks again and Ill be sure to have chapteR 2 up next week!