[Report This]Date: May 05 2016 5:15 AM Title: Epilogue
"Who knew? Who cares, she concluded."
: P
"She softened her approach slightly, feeling the return of a more gentle her."
: )
"She told him."
but not the readers : / ^^
"But, the again,"
Typo
Really like how these two talk : )
"He laughed."
"He fucking laughed, thought she."
Good bye...
"She just simply couldn’t handle everything that had happened."
: (
"Rose?"
!!!!!
Have fun James ; )
------
Awesome Story versusterminus7
Hope we'll see the Virgin again = )
Author's Response:
it was actually super liberating to write dialogue again. i spent this entire fuckmothering story describing shit i had to stop and think what a normal conversation consisted of.
yeah, her name is rose. it was almost mary but that seemed overboard with the whole biblical theme.
Im really happy you enjoyed this! thank you for reading.
[Report This]Date: May 05 2016 5:14 AM Title: Chapter 11
Liked the way you showed the tiny woman loosing her head.
"She was... Angry. Sad. Furious. Emotional. She was a lot of things, but mostly, she was sure that everyone was going to die."
"I'm not a monster after all, she thought to herself, scraping his viscera off her sandal."
"Funny, considering her nature had flew out the window this evening."
That emotional turmoil : )
"You're alive," said the Virgin, "are you okay?"
A stupid question, she thought."
: D
"The detachment the was on some level horrifying in the extreme but that part of her was still pushed out"
Typo "The detachment the"
Interesting "Dialog" between the Virgin and Priestess
That self pleasuring and insertion scene : D
Author's Response:
im not verrrrry pleased with the way i wrote the decapitation scene (thats a phrase i never thought id ever use ever), but it'll do.
I wondered if i wasnt being wishywashy with the virgins emotional state. i dont think so, but maybe i was.
ehhh typos.
Date: May 03 2016 9:16 AM Title: Epilogue
Loved it! Although I was really hoping for some boot crush action.. But, like I said, awesome story, nevertheless!
Author's Response: well I'm not averse to boot crush, but it is alllll about strappy gladiator sandals. Just sayin :)
Date: May 03 2016 3:24 AM Title: Prelude
I already the last chapter and you know what I think of it so I'll comment on the epilogue which I didn't read until now. I agree it was a good decision not to have The Virgin named Mary. Rose is good name and having her smush the last guy made sense too. Good stuff and I cannot wait to see your next story!
Author's Response: Thank you bro! My next fair is going to e muuuuuch more gentle than this one. :)
[Report This]Date: May 02 2016 2:23 AM Title: Prelude
I have to say, I think I'm the only one who dislikes the sudden violent and cold turn the virgin took; you previously established her as a caring 'soft' person (with her waiting for marriage) how she behaved, and my favourite moment was when she felt resentment for crushing a lot of those people. I feel as though she's morphing into the stereotypical destructive character, when there are more layers to her character.
For example, I would have found it interesting if she tried to communicate with them as she said before, rather than decide to go the genocide route after seeing them rape a girl. It doesn't make sense to me that she sees one being attacked and decides that they all should die (I know, they were doing voo-doo rape stuff on her).
All in all, she doesn't seem like a killer; it would be awesome and chilling if she crushed a couple with her tenderiser and then became heavily conflicted with playing an angry goddess among the little people. Nice descriptions though;I can imagine your running out of adjectives to describe this gore fest.
Author's Response:
Great review and criticism!
While I too love me some gentle/kind gts, i would defend the Virgin as a violent character in this instance- shes beend traumatized, had a second chance she willingly gave thrown in her face by the actions of the kitchen rapists, and probably cant forget what happened to her, the girl who had her throat cut, and the woman who was raped and killed. Do I agree that the Virgin killing 100+ to take revenge is an extreme example of flying off the handle? Yes, I do agree. I would submit, however, that people do in fact change- given enough trauma, anyone can change personalities- I feel like the virgin just sort of dipped her toes into the dark side. Well, more like went waist deep. However, like you said, there were layers. Yes, on some level, the virgin is still a soft girl. But throughout her rampage, she discovers more about herself, her power, etc. I would argue that this story is ultimately about transformation (i lie, it's a fucking gts story): the Virgin transforms into the goddess that te little cult worships.
I wouldn't change the way I wrote the virgin this time. I would, however, love to revive her, possibly for a new adventure.
You've given me a great deal to think about, and i feel like I've learned from this. THank you so much for reading and making comments! I rate your review 10/10.
Date: May 01 2016 8:42 AM Title: Prelude
Michael said what I wanted to say,great way to set up the end!
Author's Response:
well, i hope it meets your approval ;)
[Report This]Date: May 01 2016 1:36 AM Title: Chapter 10
"She wasn't a monster, after all.
Or was she?"
"Yes, a goddess!"
"The Virgin, her hands shaking no longer, opened the door."
Great how in this chapter you show the Virgin's power trip building momentum and the last pockets of guilt getting annihilated : )
Author's Response:
Glad you liked it! Its going to come to fruition next chapter, and i hope in a really big way.
Thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: April 16 2016 1:44 PM Title: Chapter 9
Awesome story so far!
Really like the characters and the way you describe their thoughts and what is happening : )
In this chapter I especially liked the vore scene as well how Sigdaw felt about her death in the end.
Also intrigued by the virgin in the way she reacts to this situation and I wonder what else she will do and if Jawm is able to snap her out of her killing spree.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! The switching author persepctives to show characters' trains of thought was something new I thought I'd try- I found it difficult to try and do it all from one POV but it ended up sounding clunky. The Virgin is an interesting character- I dont think she's going to snap out of it any time soon :) anyhoo, thank you for reading and I am glad that you are enjoying the story so far.
[Report This]Date: April 06 2016 7:38 PM Title: Prelude
The extreme gore is not my usual cup of tea, but I find the Virgin character very compelling. Also enjoy your writing style. Thanks for posting an update!
Author's Response:
Yeah, this is def my first rodeo concerning gore. Thank you for the review! I quite like the Virgin character myself. I'll keep pushing for updates (probably not as long a wait though ;) )
Date: April 06 2016 8:50 AM Title: Prelude
You weren't kidding about the gore here but its hard to sympathise with the tinies, she is somewhat justified in killing them.
Author's Response:
Hey Nostory, thanks for reading.
Yeah, I'm wondering if it was a stretch to have the Virgin become remorseful after her first rampage. I'm glad that I did it that way, though. I like her resolve now to continue her rampage, and she will probably feel so after (or at least, that's how I plan on it). But yeah, lots of gore, lots of blood. That will probably be the most vicious chapter. Probably.
Date: July 23 2015 10:35 PM Title: Prelude
Good to see another update but I totally didn't expect remorse, keeps me guessing where this story will go.
[Report This]Date: July 23 2015 3:40 PM Title: Chapter 8
So they were gonna crawl up inside her, rape her, and possibly murder her, and she feels REGRETFUL for killing them? I guess maybe if she figures they were brainwashed to the point of extremity... But did she just conviniently "forget" that they had cast a seal on the door so if everything had gone as planned she couldn't escape?
Are we ever going to hear exactly how this ritual goes, what it's meant for, and what it entails? Please say yes.
I have no idea what Ninja Sex Party has to do with anything, but they're pretty awesome.
Author's Response:
Hey, thanks for reading.
Maybe it was difficult/vague to pick up from context, but I wrote the virgin to be a soft-hearted girl. Given her stance on premarital sex, her knowledge of what a sacrament is, she probably came from a religious family. I like to think that its softened her heart. For now, anyway. She probably didnt think that they were brainwashed, and she forgot about the doorseal.
No, Im not going to publically reveal it. I dont feel like its necessary to the plot, and this story has been a bit of an experiment for me.
Ninja sex party has EVERYTHING to do with EVERYTHING, my friend.
Date: March 06 2015 9:48 AM Title: Prelude
Well they're fucked.
Author's Response:
one of them will be eventually.
[Report This]Date: March 05 2015 6:03 PM Title: Chapter 7
Are we going to learn exactly what they planned to do once they got into her body?
Author's Response:
I have an idea of what they would do, but I'm not going to enumerate it in the story. I wanted to keep this as light as possible, giving the sense of a large, open world with complex religions and lives, but keep it reigned in to just the Virgin (she has a real name, but again, not going to say) and the tribe. Thanks for reading.
Date: February 24 2015 12:52 AM Title: Chapter 6
Damn, ritual blocked! This will be bloody.
Author's Response:
so much blood
Date: February 23 2015 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 6
HOLY JESUS
Author's Response: Is that a good HOLY JESUS or a bad one? Like, do you like the story? Good chapter? Ya? Ya? Yaaaaaa?
Date: January 28 2015 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 4
... It says it's new but I'm not really seeing anything new about it...
Author's Response:
i fucked up and posted a chapter of my OTHER story to this one. I deleted that chapter and set it in the other one. New chapter should be up friday night probably. thanks for the patience.
[Report This]Date: January 22 2015 6:58 AM Title: Chapter 3
Huh. Gettin' a real Aztec-y vibe here.
Author's Response:
The girl getting a mexican necktie in the prelude didn't tip you off? yeah, i wasnt too pleased with this chapter. fuck. hopefully the action in the next few will make up for it. Just needed some serious plot building/character building in this one. Thanks for y'all'ses patience.
Date: January 19 2015 9:59 PM Title: Chapter 2
Well, I'm hooked :) I'm eager to see how the events lead up to the prelude. The violence, crush, and unaware themes are great as well. I thought that sacrifice in the prelude was pretty fucking metal. Can't wait to see more!
Author's Response:
hey, thanks! the prelude was something i just threw together one night on my phone at work, and i thought, 'well, then what?' glad you think it's metal. i think blood and giantesses are pretty fuckin metal too.
Date: January 19 2015 3:42 PM Title: Chapter 2
Oh yeah, I like your bio, too.
Author's Response:
Thanks- i put a lot of thought into it; could you tell?