Date: December 22 2014 4:03 PM Title: Chapter 1
Oh, well thank you. That is very kind, but really, you don't have to add my name as a co-aurthor. This is your storry, not mine.
Author's Response: Have you got any ideas for my story?
Date: December 20 2014 9:56 PM Title: Chapter 1
Hey deadman, i just noticed that for some reason it is giving me credit on this storry. I have no idea how that happened and i don't want to steal any of your credit. I will try and work that out.
Author's Response: You gave me ideas for the story. So I'm making you co author ok?
Date: December 19 2014 9:41 AM Title: Chapter 1
As someone who wrote a story about a blind giamntess , I found the idea very intersting.
Just follow sick puppies' advice, and I'm sure you'll have the potential to write some pretty great stuff!
Date: December 18 2014 11:39 PM Title: Chapter 1
Alright, where do I began?
So, interesting concept, good actual story, but the execution was… lacking? Is that a strong enough word? What I’m trying to say, and I mean this nicely, is that you need to work on your writing style a lot.
Now to some specifics. I realize this is your first writing (or at least the first on this site), so it is expected for your writing style to be less refined. Just practice a lot more. Focus on your timing. Everything happened so quickly! What you have in your first 500 words, most authors would write out over a few chapters. Add details! Add descriptions! Add dialog and character development! You mentioned how his fart smelled bad. Don’t just say it smelled bad, tell me exactly what it smelled like! Rotting garbage? Decaying corpses left out in the sun for too long? Something else that isn’t so comical? I want to know damn it!
So there you go, my review. Great story idea, would love to read more of it, but work on your writing style.