[Report This]Date: September 23 2014 3:00 AM Title: Chapter 6: MEET BUTLER ONE
And, of course, one of the devices is probably a shrinking gun. Ann is going to get in all sorts of trouble if she's not careful. Maybe she can grow Wendell to normal size. It does disturb me a bit that Wendell wasn't mentioned in chapter 1. That means he may have met an untimely demise. That's a bit sad. I hope we have a chance to learn more about him before that happens. He hasn't really interacted or spoken much as of yet.
Author's Response:
Rest assured, no untimely demise in Chapter 1. Wendell will be around in the whole 1950s storyline, which ends at chapter 76. The last few chapters after that will be set in 1996.
But there'll be no size changing device. Wendell's size will remain small (like all Earth-T citizens) for the whole story. As Wendell is stuck on Ann's earth, we won't learn more about him. However, some detailed chapters about Earth-T in general can be found scattered throughout the prequel "Captain Miniature and the Red Moll Conundrum" with other Earth-T characters, not Wendell. The worst you'll have to face is 1996 widowed Ann reminding her 1996 shrunken volunteer that she'll eat him, but this only occurs about every 8 chapters or so, and very briefly. So the kind of stuff you like will prevail in most of the story.
It's great to have picked up a new regular reviewer following this piece.
[Report This]Date: September 22 2014 6:13 AM Title: Chapter 5: NO PLACE FOR LOST PROPERTY
Whoa, what? The strangest story ever? Perhaps. I feel like I'm walking through a classic 1990's game like XCOM. Or that the robot is Floyd in Planetfall.
Author's Response:
more like the robot was Mo in Space Sentinels
[Report This]Date: September 21 2014 6:30 AM Title: Chapter 4: THE NIGHT BRINGS ADVENTURE
I like your style of writing, the way you construct your sentences. I've never seen anything quite like it. It reminds me of reading an old book, perhaps one written before 1950. I like Ann more and more. At first, I was utterly mystified by her. In chapter 2, she simply picked up Wendell from behind a flower as if it were the most natural thing in the world. No surprise at the existance of such a tiny human. She seemed unbelieveable. But now I see her personality is one of calm calculation, objective analysis of the situation, and she proceeds through life with a sense of unshakable logic mixed with controlled curiosity. I feel she is a genius with a dramatically reduced capacity to express emotion. Perhaps she opens up a bit more later in the story.
Author's Response:
And you have quite an intuitive analysis of the character. Yes, I was trying to emulate older writing styles, and particularly the expressions used by teenage cartoon super heroes in the 1960s, although the bulk of the story is set in 1953. Her emotions will show at times too. Talking to a tiny guy and a robot for most of the dialog makes for an interesting dynamic.
[Report This]Date: September 19 2014 5:24 PM Title: Chapter 2: THE BASEBALL & THE BOY FROM BEYOND
Wow, this is pretty good. Ann is awesome! But I'm lost...how did she become so evil? The vorophilic Ann in chapter 1 seems nothing like the sweet, considerate Ann of chapter 2.
As far as the writing style, I like when you switch to non-exposition, i.e., showing instead of telling. For example the dialog between Ann and Wendell, dropping small bits of food, etc. More of that please. :)
Of course if she ends up eating or hurting Wendell later on her path to becoming the Ann of chapter 1, I'll probably cry, so don't do that.
Author's Response:
Well, not to ignore your requests, but I've already written the entire 80 chapters. So I can't alter the method of delivery. I'm just posting one a day so as not to overload the readers. However, I can tell you that you've got 76 more chapters to enjoy with nobody at all being eaten. As for the vorophile, she did ask his position and went about it politely. Also the Ann in the 1950s flashback narrative is a teenager. The Ann in 1996 is in her 50s.
I actually started with the vore idea, and thought it would (as you so wonderfully put it) be surreal indeed to have her tell the little guy in great detail of the life she had, before going on to eat him.
I'm not into homicidal or suicidal vore. As a Christian, I'd find that wrong, and my own fantasy would be to teleport out of the girl's tummy and survive, avoiding being digested. I'm glad you're enjoying this though. As it turns out you'll mostly see what you want in your requests, except for the very last two chapters in 76 days' time. You could just tune out when they get posted eventually.
[Report This]Date: September 17 2014 2:53 AM Title: Chapter 1: ORPHANS ... AND OTHER ORIGINS
Wow. So surreal. Will the entire story have the underlying tension that Ann is going to eat Martin at the end? How cruel! I realize he agreed to it, but still. She seems like a sensible woman. Maybe she's going to regurgitate him. I certainly hope so. Otherwise, why would Martin agree to such a thing? He doesn't appear depressed in his speech here.
Let's just hope her story is a long one. Let's hope Martin changes his mind before we reach the end. And finally, let's hope she shows him mercy.
Author's Response:
I'm flattered that this got reviewed before chapter 124 of the prequel story actually. It must have really caught people's attention.
Well "Yes" to the first question, and I was originally going to make it even more of a vore piece by having the whole story carry the underlying tension that she would eat him without his agreement. Imagine him hearing her happy life story knowing that.
I just realised it wouldn't be consistent with the Ann O'Malley of "Captain Miniature and the Red Moll Conundrum" chapter 1 onwards.
The only thing to do was to make him a voraphile such as myself, who would be looking forward to it, or it least, willing to do it as an act of love for her. But yes, their surreal dialogue will respond to her 1953 flashback narrative at various points throughout, although not that frequently, until his big scene in 1996 at the end. (However, that's 79 chapters away).