[Report This]Date: July 31 2015 7:04 AM Title: Bios
This is a really great story! I like the character development and how the story has come out so far. I wonder if any of Wendy's friends will take Alvin though. Or if Alvin will forgive any of Wendy's friends, since they were tools used by Wendy in his past torture. Also, something tells me she is actually changing, for the good at least. Great story!
Author's Response:
Thanks, I was just reading yours when I decided to check mine.
Yeah I'm hoping Wendy's friends will take him because there isn't anyone else she knows who could do that for them. If Alvin can forgive Wendy, I think her friends ought to be easier. It's also nice to see someone who believes Wendy is sincere about her change.
Date: July 30 2015 9:40 PM Title: Bios
Sorry if I made it confusing, I meant to say that in the chapter, it's shown as "Wendy" not "Patricia" but shouldn't it be Patricia? I changed it in my first review to reflect that but that made it seem like it was okay to begin with.
“You can come out from behind the couch; I’m still hungry,” Wendy said from the corner of her mouth.
“Look, she’s your daughter,” Alvin stepped in as he heard the slamming of a door. He swallowed, unable to imagine what Wendy had to be going through.
“ She wasn’t behaving like one. I’ll give you...” Wendy took her phone out from the back of her shorts and glanced at the digital clock face.
Author's Response:
Oh ok, I see what you mean! Sorry, I'll go correct it now.
Date: July 30 2015 2:45 PM Title: The Boot
Yeah, i knew my opinion wasnt gonna be a popular one...
Author's Response:
Its okay, I see where you're coming from.
Date: July 30 2015 2:00 PM Title: Bios
I also disagree with gadgetwambo. Because she is so uninterested in her children for years. She therefor doesn't deserve to respond like that. If she was a good mother, she has a right to be angry. But she is terrible for so many years, that she must shut up and be a good parent for a change. Selfish mother.
"She’s hardly spoken to Alvin, other than to make sure he keeps the house spotless and that the cooking is done properly, she feels little to no obligation to go beyond this. It hasn’t come back to bite her in any way so why change something if it ain’t broken?"
@nostory
I can understand your point of view and that some adult might not believe you or brush it off as something light. I can understand Alvin's actions not to tell. But in this setting of events, Alvin should leave Wendy and Patricia.
Wendy and Patricia deserve eachother.
Author's Response:
Your assessment is pretty spot on , she is pretty apathetic with regards to her children.
I will have to disagree with Alvin leaving both of them, he does deserve a reformed Wendy at this point and if he chooses to stand up for by leaving Patricia, then Wendy is good enough for him.
Date: July 30 2015 12:31 PM Title: The Boot
I have to disagree with gadgetwambo.
I've seen workaholic control freak mothers, before. The type who feel needlessly guilty about taking even the most well-earned of 5-minute rest breaks...unless she's too exhausted to enjoy it. And, even then, once she gets her second wind, she gets up and starts looking around for more stuff to do! Even if she's legitimately caught up on _all_ her chores!! And, what's worse? Whatever idea she comes up with next, she feels has to implement it right away. And, everyone else should instantly--and literally--drop whatever they might be doing to help her!!!
Patricia might be an extreme version of that. But, she's definitely not an implausible (or excusable) one.
Author's Response:
Not quite , she is jobless for now but she still has a lot of her past weighing on her.
[Report This]Date: July 30 2015 12:22 PM Title: The Boot
:-O
:-O
:-O
:-O
:-O
Author's Response:
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
[Report This]Date: July 30 2015 8:35 AM Title: The Boot
This is one of the most fucked up stories I have ever read. I love it. Great chapter, definitely continue!
Author's Response:
Thanks...I guess. I thought there would be more fucked up stories though,this one is mild in comparison to them.
Date: July 30 2015 4:43 AM Title: The Boot
I think here you should change "Wendy" to "Patricia":
“You can come out from behind the couch; I’m still hungry,” Patricia said from the corner of her mouth.
“Look, she’s your daughter,” Alvin stepped in as he heard the slamming of a door. He swallowed, unable to imagine what Wendy had to be going through.“ She wasn’t behaving like one. I’ll give you...” Patricia took her phone out from the back of her shorts and glanced at the digital clock face.
---------------------
Anyway as for the chapter. Now I understand that Wendy now wants to stick up for Alvin and whatnot. And Patricia isn't exactly the nicest person around, but I understand why she behaved like that...It sucks being the parent sometimes, especially after losing a job like she did.
And then to come home and see your kids acting like everything is fine in the world while you suffer, and then to have them talk back to you like that...It must have hurt. And it's not like she was calling Alvin names or hitting him, she just demanded a meal in a clear manner, which is completely reasonable in my opinion.
I don't know, Patricia doesn't seem that bad, I actually am taking her side in this one. Wendy and Alvin should be more concious of what their mother is going through. Honestly, Wendy behaved like a spoiled brat, regardless of how pure her intentions might have been. Alvin at least was willing to be obedient, but left for his sisters sake.
Good chapter, I'm eager to see where things go from here...
Author's Response:
No that is supposed to be Patricia, not Wendy.
Remember Patricia is jobless at this point and that Wendy feels guilty over what she did so she is compensating for that by making sure he doesn't have to do such things ever again.
Thanks for the review, I'll see if I can push out 2 more chapters before I put this on the backburner for the sake of school.
[Report This]Date: July 24 2015 10:13 AM Title: Bios
@Vgiv: in case your wondering? The slang term "snafu" goes back to World War II. At which time, it was an acronym (a word formed by initials) used sarcastically in certain radio communiques. Commissioned officers claim it stood for "Situation Normal: All Fouled Up." While enlisted men had another translation! ;-)
Today, American armed forces prefer to use the acronym "fubar" ("Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition").
Author's Response:
Oh thanks for clearing up that Cary and it looks like I got a new word to use! Thanks for that too!
Date: July 22 2015 5:12 PM Title: Bios
@Nostory.
"I'd just add that Wendy is not that cruel, she wouldn't intentionally do something that would kill Alvin or hurt him seriously. Even at her worst she was able to control her blows to the point that Alvin would not be hospitalised."
Isn't that because else her mother would find out what she was doing to Alvin al that time? She is sneaky too.
What do you think what she would have done if Cassie posted those photos of him and mentally break him. Would you think Wendy would mind that she totally destroyed his life? The answer is no.
And the manner how she tries to apologize to Cassie in chapter 13. That arrogant tone and how she is setting the terms of how that discussion must take place. Al her sentences make you cringe with disgust. Here we have a few.
Wendy:
“Point taken, now can we talk in a more private place? My personal life isn’t supposed to be broadcasted to the entire school,” Cassie relaxed her grip which gave Wendy an idea.
“No matter how much you think it, I’m a not monster. At least, I didn’t start out as one, no ever becomes one just like that,” Wendy snapped her finger.
“ Thank you Cassie, it’s the first nice thing you’ve done for me,”
“ I’d like to continue, if that’s fine with you,”
I don't mind. I like those discussions and different views. I'm also interested in the view the writer has.
Author's Response:
That and the laws covering the abuse of a smaller size leave you with no room to breathe once you get caught.
If Cassie had done that, Wendy wouldn't have been bothered at all, she'd just go right in and laugh at him.
You're probably going to ask, why doesn't Alvin report Wendy to the police then? Or any adult to get rid of her?
As a victim of bullying, I tell you its not that easy and even after I did , the adult either didn't do enough or brushed it off as teasing and told me to be less sensitive. After a while you just learn to put up with it, that's it.
It was supposed to be in a more sympathetic light, the first part especially of the quotes you brought up but it could be due to my subpar description of the scene that led you to believe otherwise. the third line too. In fact all of these are supposed to be from a girl trying to be polite.
I've always wanted to write a story that got the readers into discussions with either each other or the writers involved.
Date: July 22 2015 8:10 AM Title: Bios
@vgiv. I too am an only child. I hold friendships and family in high regard. But check out how short that period was where she supposedly loved him and how long that time was when she tortured him. When his father died, there was no love for him in that house.
That last act of her was nasty. She knew that would destroy him. She didn't even worry when he didn't came home and probably would have liked it when Cassie would had gone trough with her plan for Alvin. She would'nt have cared if died.
When he comes home. See the way she talks to him. Not satisfied because Cassie didn't mentally destroyed him with is not far away from killing someone. Sounds pretty sadistic to me.
Those eight years of torture just because of a few words Alvin said?
Maybe you see something in Wendy that makes it worth it to give her a chance. But I wouldn't if I were in Alvin's shoes. That boat sailed away a long time ago. Just leaving them isn't even an evil act compared to the eight years of torture and lack of love.
Author's Response:
I'd just add that Wendy is not that cruel, she wouldn't intentionally do something that would kill Alvin or hurt him seriously. Even at her worst she was able to control her blows to the point that Alvin would not be hospitalised. Bullying Alvin is a drug for her, she feels powerful doing it and it masks her insecurities.
I'm not against what you feel about Wendy since I was trying to get people to hate her when I wrote it and not believing her turnaround is expected. I totally respect your point of view, you and everyone have good reason to be skeptical of her.
[Report This]Date: July 21 2015 2:54 PM Title: Bios
@Barrowman true enough on the first part, I did miss that as I have not read the first chapter in a while, but when you consider that Wendy and Alvin did have a rather happy relationship before she began harrassing him, as Nostory at one point mentioned that when she hugged him after they made up it was the first real hug she had given him in a while, meaning that they cared for each other. I may be an only child, but I know that a brother and sister bond, or any bond among siblings is something hard to forget.
If Alvin does leave the house, good for him, he'll never know his sister again. Leaving both Wendy and Patricia is the equivalent of hatred. By all means, Wendy has a few good reasons to love Alvin dearly. Her miserable life growing up without Daniel and Alvin changed for the better when he showed up.
Speaking of which, another possible explanation for Wendy's behavior was that she was bullied as a kid, for being un-Amazonian, and people who are bullied often become bullies themsleves. Wendy began bullying Alvin after a joke he made about her appearence, so Wendy bullied Alvin, the way an the son of a abusive father bullies his peers. While it is still cruelty, it is not because Wendy has a sadistic heart, as you imply, it is because she is also a victim. She at least deserves a chance from Alvin.
@Nostory I only speak English, sorry, but I know a few people who speak German, and some that speak Spanish.
Author's Response:
Could those people help with Spanish translations? Not keen to use Google translate with its too literal translations.
Plus have you read the email I sent? Sorry but I really need a reply on it, I'll also explain the scenes that require Spanish.
Date: July 21 2015 1:20 PM Title: Bios
@vgiv,
"as they did have a civilised conversation in Alvin's car in Chapter 1 I think"
Wendy:" I don’t get why Mom always asks you more questions. Am I that uninteresting?”
Alvin: "I don’t know. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why she gets so quiet every time I say the word scholarship?"
Wendy: "Alvin,"
Alvin: "Yes sister dear?"
Wendy:"Try not to make it too easy for my friends I to push you around. We like a challenge"
That was the conversation in the car. A civilised promise of a massive beating like she had done so many times before. Impressing her friends has nothing to do with it, because she is the leader of the group. You can clearly see from the behaviour of her friends that they don't care about beating Alvin up or not. They already respected her and she already stands out.
That guy cooks for her and doesn't look for trouble. But eight years long, abuse inside the house and at school non-stop. She is either cruel or stupid or both or something in between. That behaviour would have continued if Cassy hadn't befriend him and treathened her multiple times.
If he leaves the house, he is finally rid of Wendy and her mother. No more stress and a good life ahead. No need to hate them either, just erase them completely from your life. Don't give them your phone-number, don't tell them where you live. Move as far way as possible. Wendy and Patricia deserve eachother.
Author's Response:
Damn I forgot about that line...
Might have made Wendy a lot creepier than I intended there.
Date: July 21 2015 2:37 AM Title: Bios
@Barrowman to be fair, Wendy never seemed to be completley malevolent to Alvin, not exactly cruel or sadistic, as they did have a civilised conversation in Alvin's car in Chapter 1 I think, Wendy only got cruel in the prescence of her friends, and admittedly, we all do act harsher or differently when around friends. Either to impress them, stand out, or because we are human we feel more comfortable and lax around others naturally, so your sense of decorum and judgement are impaired.
@Nostory I will check my inbox but for some reason my notifactions don't work anymore. So I don't know when I have been emailed.
Author's Response:
I've had that before.Perhaps you could try checking your inbox at the start of the day and once more at the end, bound to have stuff. This does explain why you didn't respond to the last two emails at all. By the way, are you fluent in any language besides English? I could use a translator for some of my stories. I'll explain it in an email when you reply to mine.
We've all been guilty of behaving like that at some point, caving in to peer pressure and I am sure Wendy plays it up when she has to, for fear of being questioned by her friends on why she hasn't been doing that. Its still her fault since she started the whole thing but its a trap many people fall in to. At home she at the very least ignores him unless he has done something to warrant a beating. In school her friends admitted to following her when going after Alvin, they'd have done nothing if she had stopped so its all peer pressure and not wanting to be the odd one out.
You got 27 reviews to go in your quest, I'll be sure to congratulate you if you become the 200th reviewer. Should it happen.
Date: July 20 2015 11:09 PM Title: Bios
@Nostory. You have point. And it's not unrealistic either, but she is still creepy. Acting so nice after many years of complete opposite behaviour. That character can't be gone. She good easely fall back to being rotten again if Cassie was gone. It's best if Alvin moved out of that house as soon as possible, just to be sure. He can go live with Cassie and leave al his troubles behind.
Author's Response:
All of what you mentioned are valid concerns and it is up to Alvin to trust Wendy, he and Wendy had good times before the bad so Alvin has to put his faith in that Wendy still has good in her.
There's still 9 chapters to see if Alvin chose poorly and the story ends with him in a ditch, body mangled from Wendy's fatal beating. She is an Amazon and while they don't have the strength a Titan has, it wouldn't be too hard for them to a man or normal woman with their fists.
[Report This]Date: July 20 2015 3:41 PM Title: Run Like The Wind!
I don't know why, but I imagined Alvin falling during his run, or at least tripping slightly. Was than in a previous draft or am I just a pessimist?
What does snafu mean by the way? Jamila and Cassie keep saying it and I have no idea what it means... congrats on 170 reviews by the way. I was the hundreth reviewer on the Aftermath, so I'll go for being 200th reviewer on this.
Author's Response:
An earlier draft involved Alvin tripping, spraining his ankle and then costing him team the final but changes to the final plot made this point irrelevant.
Snafu means: to throw into disorder; muddle.
I might be using it wrongly here but screwing up stuff can be referred to as a snafu.
Thanks, honestly didn't expect this many reviews but I'll take it :)
I look forward to your reviews. Also, did you get my Uptown Girl email?
Date: July 20 2015 3:35 PM Title: Bios
I like how Alvin turns around in the middle of his sprint. Like there is no chance of tripping then getting owned by the concrete.
Wendy is proving to be more of smartmouth yet loving older sister, rather than a younger one which she is. I suppose it is the Amazon blood.
Author's Response:
Oh that would have been painful to watch. Yeah its the Amazon side of her , her size can make Alvin look like her younger brother.
Date: July 20 2015 1:28 PM Title: Bios
@Nostory
I've read it to chapter 18. I find her behaviour patterns very disturbing. ;) First normal treatment when his dad was alive, than super cruel for a long time and than be able to have selfreflection at her friends house and with Cassie and after that acting nice to Alvin. She wasn't only cruel to Alvin, but to others too for years. Wendy left him in a life treathening situation with Titans. That rotten character can't be gone in just a few moments off talk with Cassie.
Author's Response:
Hmm good point but remember she went through quite a few ass kickings from Cassie before their talk so she has the bruises to show for that, her turnaround isn't just because of a few words.
[Report This]Date: July 20 2015 9:34 AM Title: Bios
Fun story of day to day school life in a world full of Titans and Amazons. But I miss a size class between Amazon and Titan. Something around 15 metres to 20 metres.
Wendy is creepy. I don't know what to make of her. Patricia Mathers is a typical bad mother.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing!
vgiv came up with the sizes, I just followed the rules set by him for those. I might do a story set with a 50-60 foot giantess but outside of this series.
Patricia defintiely not Mother of the Year, its obvious but how far have you read? Wendy isn't always creepy.
[Report This]Date: July 19 2015 6:02 PM Title: Run Like The Wind!
Three cheers for Der Alvinator who made such a great come-Bach.
Author's Response:
Hah I was using a Terminator reference in the earlier draft of the chapter before I decided Rocky was better.
Thanks for the review!