[Report This]Date: December 19 2015 3:26 PM Title: Two Timer
A three-way battle of wits. I loved it! Although, part of me wishes Alvin had countered the Batman crack with "WHY... SO....SERIOUS?"
;-)
Author's Response:
Aw...I wish I had thought of that line when I was writing it.
Date: December 19 2015 10:25 AM Title: Two Timer
Not much happening in this chapter. But the story it self was enjoyable. The slice of life with size difference in it, is always interesting.
Author's Response:
Yeah I thought you might like seeing how businesses in this world function, how it has changed from ours. Thanks for the review!
Date: November 16 2015 9:17 PM Title: Birthday Plans
Yeeeeeeeeesss so glad you got the time to write again I love this story :)
Author's Response:
Thank you but you'll have to wait about 3-4 weeks for my next update. Hope its not too long!
Date: November 10 2015 7:18 AM Title: Bios
I think I misread it. It's actually Alvin's sister who is talking, like you just pointed out. Thank you for clarifying that. I will send you an e-mail with the next chapter so far and the limtied bios I have. I needed a bit of practise before I went ahead with the story about Tobias and Fluer, so I went ahead and did a few simple renders of a short story inspired by a link (to a comic) someone posted on Giantess City, which I can also send you for being a valued reader.
Author's Response:
No problem, I'll make sure to make things clearer in the future.
I would love to see the renders, excitedly waiting for your email :D
Date: November 10 2015 1:53 AM Title: Birthday Plans
To calrify this is what I read:
Very sure. When his dad, my stepdad , was still around he had it every year for his birthday.
The way the sentence is worded make it seem like, at least to me, that Cassie's step-dad is his dad. Also extra space by that comma which isn't needed.
I want Wayne to have a bio, but I'm not sure if I have the hair for an image. I have bios for Sidney, Althea and the Angels. Other characters I didn't consider important enough.
Author's Response:
Okay, I see what you mean, I've altered it to make it less confusing. If one person is confused then its a sign I've made the wordings clear enough so its been altered to this:
“Very sure. When his dad, my stepdad , was still around he had it every year for his birthday. The look on his face, you’d think the prettiest girl in school had kissed him,” Wendy answered.
As for Gems of the Sky stuff, I think that should be enough since these bios should be reserved for important characters. Anything that is remotely spoilerly, just email me :) Its been a while since we talked.
Date: November 09 2015 4:52 PM Title: Birthday Plans
Not much I have to say. Well, nothing meaningful anyway. Except Cassie's step-dad is Alivn's dad? Did I read that correctly?
I've done my own profiles now, though I could add one more character, finally but I have two conundrums which are causing me to be reluctant to share them: 1. Not surehow accurately they reprisent the descriptions I gave if them. And 2. How I'd lay them out on Giantess World. I could just link to a download I suppose.
Author's Response:
I may have put that in wrongly, Cassie has no stepfather, only Alvin has step-parents here. I'll go re-read it.
Well for those profiles you should give something basic, not too detailed but with enough to give the readers a rough guide of how the characters should be. You could make it a chapter on its own , easier for people to read them. Email me if you want to discuss this further.
[Report This]Date: November 08 2015 11:31 PM Title: Birthday Plans
Interesting points about Cassie. I don't think that Alvin would have report Cassie for the abuse. If she sent that picture and let him go right after that, he very likaly would have commit suicide.
But all seems well now.
Author's Response:
Yeah he'd keep it to himself but I don't think he'd kill himself over that. Thanks for the review, and to all who have commented, good to know people still care about it!
Date: November 08 2015 7:11 PM Title: Birthday Plans
Ooooh, good chapter. I agree with gadgetmawombo about the anger issues thing and Cassie. Hopefully she never takes it out on Alvin (again).
Great update, and I would like to see some intimacy at the dance, if you know what I mean. ^.^
Author's Response:
I know what you mean, you'll see whether it happens or not. Thanks for the review!
[Report This]Date: November 08 2015 3:39 PM Title: Birthday Plans
Great chapter! I'm glad you updated this, I was starting to worry about this story a little bit. I'm glad Cassie hasn't gotten in trouble for what she did, honestly this girl has anger issues or something and doesn't really think about consequences until it's too late. We all remember that she forcefully abducted Alvin and mentally/physically tortured him at her house for several hours effectively breaking him! I'm sure if Alvin would have reported that, she would be in deep shit too.
Anyway I'm looking forward to the their prom, I wonder how they are supposed to dance together? Is Alvin gonna be pressed onto her breast while she dances or something? Is she gonna hold Alvin's limbs with her fingertips while he dances in midair and she dances? I'm eager for the next one!
Author's Response:
I've got it all planned out and you'll see this story finished before 2016 comes around. That's when things get fun :)
I think Cassie won't be venting on Alvin again, it was a mistake she won't be repeating. You're right in that Alvin would have landed her in a lot of trouble had he bothered to report her.
You'll see how they even dance, Alvin might get second base or he might not...
[Report This]Date: November 08 2015 2:36 PM Title: Birthday Plans
An excellent way to make up for lost time! I can't help wondering, though, if Alvin and Cassie will prove as good at dancing as the prom-goers in SHE'S ALL THAT.
Author's Response:
Thanks, it was tough finding time to write. Sadly you'll have to wait until December to find out if they are the good at dancing or how Titans do prom dances with smaller sizes.
Date: October 28 2015 12:09 PM Title: Bios
@Nostory: Didn't you say you'd possibly have another multi sized world story after downtrodden?
Plus, Is the third story by that other author in the "Incorperated/Downtrodden universe" ever going to get written?
Author's Response:
Oh its not a possibility, it is definitely happening and it is in my personal opinion, a very complex story for me as a writer to attempt. It'll feature a protaganist that's different from the ones currently in my stories, she(Or he, the character I'll focus on may be different in the final version.) However be prepared to wait as I want to write some other stories before it happens.
He'a currently MIA :/ ,I'll get back to you on it when there's news.
[Report This]Date: September 30 2015 4:52 AM Title: Spilling The Beans
Hello Nostory :3
First thing : You've got to know that I am very honored to review one of your stories, since the job you make.. Is simply awesome.
Before beginning, just know that I am French (I think you're already aware of this : I don't know if you remember but I'm the one you met once or twice on eGiantess' chat) and, considering this, I may not be able to really descript all my thoughts, feelings, etc... So excuse me in advance.
That being said, I'll tell you what I have thought of Dowtrodden so far : It really is an awesome piece of art ! The major characters have been really well thought, it is obvious, and you have taken the time to develop and explain their stories, which is really the best thing in your story. Though, I also find this is what the thing that bothered me the most in the same time, paradoxal isn't it ?
Let me explain, it is really simple : While I was enjoying the story at the best, at two or three times, you made flashbacks to explain or demonstrate the past of your charachters (I am thinking of Alvin and Cassie), and I've seen it more as decelerators than things making your story more alive. I am sorry if I seem a bit rude (and I don't want to be !), but each time it happened I felt like I was being stopped in the middle of something so wonderful ! Strange enough, because the true genius about your story is in itself the past of each of your characters ! But it felt like I didn't want to discover more about themselves and I just wanted to enjoy their interactions in the present. That is a reason why I prefered very much Wendy's story, because it wasn't presented in flashbacks but straight to Cassie, all the more interesting to me.
However, even if it "hurts" to admit it, these choices you made were the right ones. Their wondrous stories were the fuel of the fire I felt when reading each of your sentences.
Maybe, one of the reason I love so much Alvin's story, it's because I've succeded to see myself a bit through him. And the fact that it was so realistic is really a proof of the beauty of your work, I don't know if you lived what one of them lived, but really it seems like you've been experiencing what they did.
Cassie is really an awesome character, nearly as perfect as you try to let her seem. In the beginning when she told about her "hiddens demons", I was expecting her tormentor to be her father, but not at all... You reserved this scenario for Wendy.
And this leads me to my most prefered character, who is indeed Wendy. As most of your other readers I think, I really hated this girl, not understanding why she was doing all of this shit on Alvin's back, and I believe I hated her more than her stepbrother himself. But then, when her story has been revealed, it was like... All of Alvin's life seemed suddenly way more easier than Wendy's... I was hurt to discover her childhood, and... Yeah, if I had to wish good luck to one member of the trio it would definitly be to Wendy. Seems a bit like she's alone against her demons, and even if Cassie is trying her best to help her, this will never be the same help she can give to Alvin, first because they are nearly a couple. Anyway, just to say that I find Wendy very strong to stand by herself, she's really courageous.. :3 Plus I think I prefer
Amazons sizes than Titans ones, maybe does this matter to my point of vue ? x)
There is just one thing I "regret" in this story, it comes from the very beginning of your story, when Alvin is "followed" by Wendy's gang and then he eventually get caughy against a wall, you said he was aroused and he was trying his best to hide that. Obviously, the girls used that fact to humiliate him all the more, but a sad thing is that you didn't played with that later.. It would have been, to my point of vue, a really interesting fact to develop..
Anyway, I'm hopping you perfectly understand than the few "critiques" I'm giving you don't alter the message I want to send, this being that your story is only a pure piece of art, a masterpiece man. I just can't believe we are already nearing the end of Downtrodden, and I'm dreading to discover what you've planned for us..
Honestly, your story was amazing on many many details, and if you remember when we talked about happiest_in_shaddows being a true artist, then let me tell you that I consider you as one of them from now on. Really, maybe your writting might seem less scientific (considering that what he does is scientific, with all the data he uses and everything, about materials and others, it really seems "scientific"), but your work is way more realistic, I mean it is much less fictive and then I think it is as hard to make something look as realistic as possible as building a whole universe where you are the ruler of everything. Anyway, just know that you are a very talentful author, and I'll make sure to enjoy all of your other stories.
It was a really wonderful experience for me, thank you very very much Nostory :)
PS: Being an athlete in an athletic club from Toulouse, I particularly enjoyed your work on the lactic acid and everything else, it was pure delight. Seems like there are some knowings in sciences there, it really is great. Thanks again.
Author's Response:
Hi Dood and yes I certainly remembered our meetings on egiantess and I enjoyed those chats, I never knew there was even a french community here until meeting you so thank you for introducing me to that part of this fetish. You may have set the record for longest review I've received but I'll reply to every point raised.
I get that a lot and thank you, vgiv and I really planned these characters really well. It having a smaller cast, none of the action of my previous stories so I guess it made dig deep and improve myself in order to deliver.
Hmmm, what you said about the flashbacks tells me those were a mixed bag, some loved it others didn't and I kind of experimented with Wendy simply telling Cassie and Cassie reliving it for us, glad you liked it in the end!
I guess I could have but Alvin was caught up with Cassie so may it would have been hard to bring it up without distracting from the main story? I'll consider all of this for future stories. Hey, don't feel so bad its the end. Consider it a bridge to something more, I will come back to this universe ,vgiv and I have plenty planned fo it.
I am really honoured by that as you know how much I admire happiest_in_shadows as an author, one of my inspirations. Oh I consider myself pretty scientific especially during the world building I did with vgiv but I know readers don't like big chunks of science or exposition at one go so I try to keep it to a minimum,only releasing it when necessary. I appreciate you like the lactic acid part, glad it went down with somene who has a background in athletics.
You're welcome and if you want to do a french translation, just email vgiv and me to notify us. I am open to it, just need to get vgiv's response.
[Report This]Date: September 27 2015 12:39 PM Title: Spilling The Beans
Awesome chapter. Can't wait to see where this goes next.
Author's Response:
Thank you, great to hear from you again! There are about 3-4 chapters left, depending on how the next one goes. Might merge the next two together if Chapter 23 doesn't make the cut. Feels good to be reaching the end , to finally write it!
[Report This]Date: September 26 2015 8:51 PM Title: Spilling The Beans
That went surprisingly better than I thought...or Patricia deserved.
On a lighter note; Cassie was carrying Alvin and Alvin?*
*See first sentence.
Author's Response:
Ah I fixed that already, thank you for pointing it out.
Thanks for the review and yes, Patricia deserves much more than that, she is just lucky Cassie , Alvin and Wendy are good people!
Date: September 26 2015 3:08 PM Title: Spilling The Beans
Thank you Vgiv. Yes, Cassie is not a typical cheerleader but Alvin is not a typical human being. Patricia isn't even his birth mother. I'm not sure I would have handed so much money so easily. The situation reminds me of when the West bailed out its banks.
The banks are thoroughly evil yet governments throw money at them. HSBC didn't collapse though, the lucky bastards. So much Mexican drug cartel money in HSBC accounts...
Author's Response:
He and Wendy have leverage over Patricia, what with the criminal child negligence she's been committing. Plus they do want the house back, can't live with Cassie forever can they?
Date: September 26 2015 1:01 PM Title: Spilling The Beans
Whoa! Cassie makes quick work of people she doesnt like and has no problems getting her hands dirty. I now see why most guys that tried to be with her ended up humiliated or worse, if you are a tiny or amazon you do NOT piss off this girl and expect to get off scott free!
Author's Response:
She only does that to people who are just downright awful , Patricia and a pre-redeemed Wendy included although Alvin was a mistake. This one with Patricia nearly crossed the line though...
Date: September 26 2015 9:12 AM Title: Bios
There is just no hope for people like Patricia. There is no cure. Too bad Cassie couldn't flush her down the toilet without consequenses. Alvin is almost free from that house.
Author's Response:
This isn't that kind of story and I think Cassie is risking a lot already by even threatening that, any further and she'd go to jail for a long time. Alvin doesn't need to be free from it, just redecorate it and give it a regime change.
[Report This]Date: September 13 2015 10:47 PM Title: May I Have This?
I really love this story and can't wait for the next chapter (figuratively seeing I have to wait for you obviously) but keep up the great work I read all the 22 chapters in like 3 hours I was obsessed XD
Author's Response:
Aw thank you!
I'll take obsession as a sign that this is a good story.
Sorry but you'll have to wait, I am a little busy at the moment with college stuff. Bear with me while I get that out of the way and you'll see the next chapter.
Date: September 08 2015 3:16 PM Title: Run Like The Wind!
“Hey fatty don’t forget the race you have to run!”
That's brilliant.
School dance seems rather bothing though. I'd turn it turn even if it was Cassie. There's too much pressure to confirm in society. Still, it's a fun read this story.
Author's Response:
As a former fatty I know what kind of jokes to use :)
We will have to see, school dances can often provide more drama than you think.
Date: September 08 2015 1:46 PM Title: Cash, Money and Heroes
I don't know why I like this story, because I don't like cheerleaders, but I do. I see cheerleading as a symbol of American decadence. Never understood the point of cheerleading - besides it being good exercise. Where I'm from there are hardly any cheeleaders, if any at all. I noted one or two missing pronouns in this chapter but they aren't worth listing.
Author's Response:
Is it because Cassie goes against the cheerleader stereotype ? So its no longer a symbol of American decadence?