I am really loving this story. Having it be first person perspective really adds a lot to it.

no its a story on this website look in gentale catogory

SpookyTaco, this story is an absolute joy to read. You're clearly a very talented, perhaps pro-level writer. I think both the setting and the narrator are presented amazingly well; you say so much in so few words. I have to echo everybody else and say that Alani is an extremely cool character: her innocence and earnestness in the face of her tormentors draws the reader in immediately, and her goodness of spirit is infectious. While you maintain the story won't have any X-rated material, I believe this is one of the few stories on the site that will be eagerly followed in spite of that.

If I had to contribute one piece of criticism, it would be that Alani's intelligence is certainly a big question mark. As you are definitely aware, first-person narratives can be tricky because every single word reveals something about the character. Thus far, Alani's inner monologue leads us to believe that she's not mentally diminished by any means and instead very innocent, as another reviewer mentioned. (A fine first-person narrative of a cognitively impaired character is Benji in "The Sound and the Fury" by Faulkner.") So if she is simply innocent, it's tough to reconcile some of her insightful observations with her blind loyalty to villains like Carl. That being said, I think that this isn't a minor structural flaw so much as me having not read the whole story; I imagine that you have a clever plot device waiting in the wings that will not only sweep all of this initial speculation away, but make the story that much richer.

Great story so far. I'll be following closely as this story progresses, smut or no!

This is so beautiful and lovely. Please more :)

Golden. Original. Well written. Great character development. 

Seems Alani doesn't know how beautiful she really is but when you've got people like Carl who call her names and put down her looks and being looked at with great disgust then it's no surprise. Those who noticed she has a child like innocence are right, she assumes that Carl is always truthful even he isn't and assumed he was watching her carry rocks when we all know he was looking at Alani's chest. 

  It would seem that nudity is no issue to Fyths and they are really thought of poorly by humans, if Carl and Brandon are anything to go by and her own thoughts seem to echo it. She has really low self esteem but Kenji might be able to raise it.

  I am starting to like Kenji, the way he handled Carl was awesome and I had thought you would have this subplot with Kenji being led on by Carl that Alani was a bad worker but you had Kenji see right through it with ease, well done! 

 However the smile Carl had as he left is unsettling, he'll be back to cause trouble for sure. I can see it easily. 

 Lyric is a bundle of joy as always and somewhere underneath that hard exterior of Kenji is a far softer side of him that needs some loving, I just get this feel about him. That 25 minute swim is going to be a lot longer now. 

  Did you get this idea about doing the reverse of Titan?

As an old friend of mine would say, whirrrrou!

Loving the story, and (knowing your style), waiting for what form of inevitable comeuppance Carl will receive. Hopefully something utterly humiliating. 

Alani has a similar thought-wording to quite a few child characters, which implies that she isn't inherently stupid, just uneducated- in fact, I'd say her ability to adapt so well to change and forgive easily shows that she has the potential to be extremely intelligent. In fact, I hope she begins learning to read or something. (Don't mind this paragraph, just me being pointlessly speculative).

All in all, a great read, and I can't wait for Chapter 3.

These first two chapters hit me right in the feels.....Stop doing that.

Heartwarming, I rather enjoyed it!

Interesting opener! Although, I have to confess: the title reminds me of a joke my father once told me.

As in: "The best way to celebrate the Fourth of July...is to buy a Fyth on the Third."

Author's Response:

Lol. Yeh, alien species names can be tricky to pick. I urban-dictionary everything nowadays, just so I don't make an embarassing mistake. Of course, FYTH was defined there but it's definition seemed so obscure, I doubted its validity. As for a fifth of a gallon, that seems more plausible. And who knows, maybe Alani comes from a race of heavy drinkers. :)