Date: October 24 2014 5:33 PM Title: Disorientation
Now that I've had some time to reflect on my initial feelings about the conclusion, I think what it really comes down to is that I kinda expected/assumed the healing process for Lexi and Bridget to get a good chunk of examination and story time, even if Lexi and Bridget separating for a time is necessary (and it is). To me, that's the other side of the coin that's just as integral to the story being complete as the Wrongful Punishment and the Innocence Revealed. It was shown how Bridget and Lexi's relationship was broken by this event, by Lexi being punished by Bridget for a crime she didn't commit, but we don't get to see, really, how those pieces are picked up and put back together (even though it will never be as it was before; the pieces can fit, but the crack lines will always show, so to speak).
Lexi and Bridget confronting one another would be the climax of said healing process, no matter whether it ended happily, sadly, or bittersweet. Even if Lexi just couldn't ever face Bridget again, and that's how it ended, that's still a conclusion, as sad as it would be. As it is now, we're left with Lexi going off somewhere to somehow heal, and we're told Bridget is off somewhere nondescript also doing some healing, but it's left extremely vague. I guess, to me, there's a ton of potential great story in that healing process and the rift between the two sisters that is left unexplored.
Maybe it's this process that's set to be explored in the next installment teased at by the Alma Warren piece, but...it just feels like, at least to me, that the healing process belongs in this story, not the next, which can focus on other things. Hell, there's so much potential in the "healing" process for story that it could probably even be its own Omega story to follow Inheritance, if need be. To me, Inheritance just won't feel complete without it. At the least, I kinda wanted to see what's going through Bridget's mind once it's all over (after interrogating Nathaniel) and she has time to think and consider, maybe even just her talking with Kayla and Evelyn. And even if it will be explored in the next installment, that won't be for a long, long time, given how Ackbar's too busy to finish Consequences anytime soon.
All that being said, this is still my favorite story on this site, but that's precisely why I feel so strongly about it, why closure/a satisfying ending for it is so important to me, and why I've never written this long a post for any other story on this site. Thanks, Jacksmith, for writing it.
Author's Response:
I see where you're coming from. Adding on to my reply to your other comment, for this particular scenario, I couldn't see Lexi and Bridget being able to face each other just yet. That's not to say they won't be facing each other again, since I do plan to write more in this universe providing I get an OK from Ackbar. To me, the journey of this story was meant to be Lexi and Bridget's friendship facing this challenge and being faced at the end with the question of how to come back, and also seeing a ripple effect from what happened to Corey in Consequences; I think tackling their healing process, if that's what happens, would've started to overload the story and take away from that original goal. Again, thanks for the detailed comments you gave on this story. I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to put thought into your responses.
Date: October 24 2014 4:07 PM Title: Apart
@riczar: Keep in mind that, as biased as Kayla is emotionally toward Abby, she also hasn't made Corey or Howard into Omegas, and Abby and Claire don't even consider that as a remote possibility. With as much as Abby means to her, to not even share that gift with Abby's family, there's likely a concrete reason behind why that forced transformation isn't happening anymore.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 3:15 PM Title: Apart
Excellent story, one of the best on this site! It's almost too bad you wont be coming back to the Omega universe for a while, I really think your writting really shines with subject matter like this—this story is prolly my favorite of yours so far.
And another thing to give praise for is the way you handled the conclusion, its one of the only stories on this site that didn't feel like it was rushed...If I had a complaint about this chapter is that I kinda felt like the Alma stuff took away a bit of time from the Kayla and Alex conversation.
I can't wait for the sequel to this though! Good luck with your gentle story too, I'm a fan of gentle so I'll prolly give it a go!
Author's Response:
Thanks very much for comments on this story; glad you enjoyed it. I can see where you're coming from with the Alma section potentially subtracting from Kayla and Lexi's talk, but it's really meant to be thought of more as an epilogue separate from the main story. I just didn't want to post something so short as its own chapter. And I hope you like the gentle story, which should show up very soon.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 3:02 PM Title: Apart
Of all the things they could have offered I was surprised that she offered a clean slate, and rather happy that the offer was turned down. As painful as it was it was real, and they will all have to live with it.
On the tease for the next story, it was interesting but the way Ackbar is updating it might not be up till next year. :p
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! Lexi, and maybe even more so Bridget, do indeed have to live with what happened.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 2:56 PM Title: Apart
So I was wrong. Whatever. I don't feel like a fool....(sniff... kicks at the ground)
Besides the obvious cliffhanger I like the ambiguous ending. There are many conflicting feelings and emotions to be sorted out that would be hard to achieve in one chapter. I don't know how I feel about Kayla Everett (did I spell that right?). I don't typically like god characters by nature and I know I don't like her even offering some B.S. memory wipe solution, but she's once again she's too hard for me to read. On one point she really crapped the bed on this one and does owe Lexi, and Bridget, and all alphas everyewhere at all times forever, yet what else can she do? Sometimes I wonder if she even knows what she's doing.
Anyway I'm with team Lexi. Here's hoping she finds peace and maybe even her sister again...,someday. (Looks off toward the sunset)
There's a breakout happening right under you nose! C'mon Kayla WAKE UP!
a
Author's Response:
(claps your shoulder) Keep on goin' kid, there are more fish in the sea.
As mighty as Kayla is, it's important to remember that she's just a person who ended up with a lot of power. For one thing, she's not omniscient, which is how things like prison breaks can still happen if she's not otherwise alerted to them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the end.
Date: October 24 2014 11:45 AM Title: Apart
This series continues to keep me interested. I'm not sure what I expected from Kayla. I just assumed someone of her power could offer so much more then a mind wipe or a limitless debit card. Maybe something fantastic, like an offer to become an Omega? Now before anyone says that Kayla doesn't choose the Omegas, let us remember that Claire's mom was selected by Kayla and wouldn't have achieved that status otherwise. I anticipate that with Alma's release that Lexi is in for some more tough times.
Author's Response:
Interesting point. Ackbar basically answered this one for me in an above comment, since this was more of an observation about the whole series you made. Thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 10:12 AM Title: Apart
Damn, I was expecting Alma to be in the apartment instead. Well crafted and much like the conclusion to Julia and what happened to Carly I will add this to my list of things to hopefully be alive to see you resolve. ;)
Great work.
Author's Response:
I swear before all potential gods of the multiverse that Julia will be finished and Blackmail 5 will appear one day. Thanks for all your comments, and for reading.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 9:56 AM Title: Apart
This ending was absolutely abysmal. Not a SINGLE word of it verified my theory that they were able to frame Alexandra via unknown evil twin. Useless!!
Author's Response:
Now that would've been quite the twist.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2014 9:18 AM Title: Disorientation
I have to say, as much as I have loved this series, I am really disappointed Bridget and Lexi never really interacted after the truth came out, even if it was an epilogue of some sort taking place after they have had their time apart. That feels to me like the only piece missing from an otherwise nearly perfect story, but it's a pretty big piece. I know Kayla was meant to be an inbetween for them and for us because they NEED some time apart, but still.
Author's Response:
Well, sorry you didn't like the end. I know some readers wanted to see Lexi and Bridget get back together, but as you pointed out, they need time apart. I just had to go with what was truer for the characters. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
[Report This]Date: October 23 2014 9:00 AM Title: Irrefutable
I feel a bit stupid speculating about the story knowing that the next chapters are already written - not to mention, it's wasted time I could spend actually reading them :)
Up to now this story is... well, it's Ackbar-quality, and I'm not sure which one of you I'm congratulating.
Author's Response:
Could've sworn I answered this review already. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you like the rest of the story.
Date: October 20 2014 4:49 PM Title: Disorientation
@applecore666
I have to thank you for that explination of Nathaniels behavior. That was a perfect description and I finally see how that could have made sense in his mind.
i also want to mention for the record, that I find it ironic that Nathaniel, the antagonist who started this whole mess, is getting all of the rights Lexi was denied. Was this done on purpose?
Think about it, what was really dispicable about what happened to Lexi was not that she was punished for a crime she did not commit, that unfortunatly happens, but that she had no trial, didn't know why she was being arrested, didn't know who accused her and was punished without the chance to level a defense.
Yet here is Nathaniel being given pretty much all of those rights. They keep giving him chances to tell his side of the story even when he's practically spitting in their faces but didn't give Lexi one single chance! (I don't count Bridgets little talk) Even when trying to correct an injustice aeigis shows its bias. irony. Aeigis deserves whatever it gets. their goals are laudable but their methods defeat their very purpose.
Author's Response:
Nathaniel's not necessarily getting more rights than Lexi. He was almost certainly grabbed up in similar fashion to Lexi, having determined his guilt. He does get his chance to tell the story, but it's more so they can understand his motivation, much like Lexi. It's not a spotless justice system, but that's just the way this world is being run.
[Report This]Date: October 20 2014 11:09 AM Title: Pieces
Once again you've made me feel sympathy for Nathaniel. His fear is a pretty reasonable thing to have, though once again he went overboard in his actions.
Alexandra is not as broken as I thought she'd be. She's still generally functional, though if she needs to run away, then she clearly has some issues to sort out (as she should).
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing. I had hoped that readers could, if not condone Nathaniel's actions, see where he's coming from. Lexi's in a state now where she just needs plenty of time to be alone.
Date: October 20 2014 8:06 AM Title: Disorientation
I was a bit sad to not see the double chapter Ending but it's still awesome chaps! My guess for alpha mystery woman is Alexandra's mom too. let's see!
Author's Response:
The last chapter will be here soon!
Date: October 19 2014 9:59 PM Title: Disorientation
@Kusanagi
Again, I see where you're coming from--how does attacking a system and a person that supports Betas supposedly help Betas? I'm not supporting Nathaniel here, but I think he can be understood as a character. There's two parts to Nathaniel on this--the rational part, and the emotional part.
For the rational part, in Nathaniel's mind, the Omega's system has failed. Sure, it might have saved some lives, but not nearly as many as he thinks it could--with so many Alphas continuing to abuse Betas in the shadows, as Lexi's mother had been for years, and would've continued to do under the Omegas' noses if it hadn't been for Lexi turning her own mother in.
Because of this, he tried to take matters into his own hands and essentially send a message to Alphas that Betas can fight back, but also, if the Omega's system is fallible one way, it can be fallible in other ways, too (and if Omegas were going to realize how fallible they are when it comes to protecting Betas, they would've done it already).
Furthermore, the only way things could get worse, to him, is if Omegas disappear, and that isn't happening anytime soon, so either this helps the cause of Betas, or things remain as shit as they currently are, so he might as well take his shot.
However, the emotional part is what ruins the impact of the plan. It was absolutely a mistake to target Lexi; she was the last person he should've targeted, objectively speaking, not just because she's the Alpha that all Betas wish all Alphas were like, but due to his personal history with her, too. However, he can't help himself because he harbors bitter resentment--he can't touch the person who actually killed his parents, but he can target her daughter, and furthermore, he probably hated how happy Lexi ended up after the ordeal, when he himself was clearly severely traumatized and probably not helped nearly as much by AEGIS, even though he was more of a victim than Lexi was. There were probably an endless number of better targets for such a scheme, but he chose Lexi, and not for any rational reason.
Again, this isn't to say that I support Nathaniel or think he's right--I'm just explaining what I gather is his point of view. Even if you don't agree with it, you can understand it.
Author's Response:
You summed it up pretty well here from Nathaniel's POV, thanks.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 6:24 PM Title: Pieces
This chapter was a heavy info dump, which is usually very bad. But for a story that holds its cards this close to its chest, it was much needed, but it still does not reaffirm nor refute my theory of what really happened the night Alexandra was framed. It's also weird to see how Aegis is reacting to this colossal fuck-up of bureaucratic proportions. Before, it was a very MarySueish organization that was always portrayed as the side that was always good, and all opposing it was terrible. Now, even they are realizing this problem with themselves. It was a good way to deconstruct this entire series' premise.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! Aegis is pretty wounded by this event, to say the least, and its effects are definitely going to be felt in other parts of the Omega stories after this.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 5:50 PM Title: Pieces
Ack, Bridget should have tried to visit her on the roof! She had enough presence of mind to interrogate Nathaniel, she should have been brave enough to visit her best friend too. Would it have been painful? Yes. Would she be rejected again? Probably. But still, c'mon, deal with it Bridget and keep trying to apologize.
Watching Omegas deal with Betas is weird. I mean, does this world have capital punishment? Because it would be ridiculous for an Omega to kill a Beta. The size disparity is too great. An Omega executing a Beta just feels wrong.
Even the interrogation seems out of place. Bridget should not be allowed to handle Nathaniel. She herself noted the brief thought of crushing him between her fingers. There's no way that should be allowed if Omega's are capable of having such thoughts. It seems simple enought to allow the Betas to serve as judge and jury for themselves. One day, an Omega is going to squeeze too hard and kill a Beta (or several Betas with a misstep) and this 'mixed zone' nonsense is going to be questioned. Omegas and Betas shouldn't be allowed within a mile of each other.
Anyway, great chapter!
Author's Response:
It isn't that Bridget didn't want to try to apologize, but after what happened, she's been implanted with a sizeable fear of doing anything to hurt her friend ever again, so even going near her in the aftermath of all this makes her too scared. The fact that Bridget was allowed to handle Nathaniel goes back to the fact that Omegas simply cannot conceive of one of their own doing something so drastic, even someone so wronged by the offending Beta. That flash in Bridget's mind is something that only could've come from the sheer amount of hurt inflicted by these events. The concern about an Omega accidentally crushing a Beta does seem like a fair one, but there are considerable measures in place through their training to prevent this, and there hasn't been such an accident before. Thanks for reading!
Date: October 19 2014 5:05 PM Title: Pieces
Wow, the wait for this is truely agonizing when your so close to the end. Please can you get this last chapter out before you update the time-out story, we're so close!
Anyway, I agree with people when they said they don't understand Nateaniels motivations. I mean I could understand revenge and i understand being angry at Agies for pushing their agenda on everyone the way they do, but I don't see how his plan helped anything. How does getting Alex tortured for a few weeks help beta kind? I'm really confused on that point.
Finally, If that woman is Kayla, I am hoping for a lot of sarcasm and bitter contempt. Seriously, i would really really hate if this story ended with roses after all thats happened. i want some justifiable anger here! Personally i think ageis are a bunch of hypocrites, using their size to bully people into not using their size to bully so i would love to see them get some comeupance.
Author's Response:
Nathaniel hurting Lexi like he did was intended as a statement to Alphas, who he fears may think the Omegas no longer have power over them. It was to show that Betas are not going to be oppressed again. His actions aren't necessarily meant to be defended by readers, but they are what they are.
Whoever it is, I can say there will be a fair amount of bitterness in the upcoming interaction.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 4:16 PM Title: Pieces
It's her mom.That's my guess...It might not make any sense or maybe it makes all the sense in the world I don't know I'm not the writer.
Author's Response:
We'll find out soon!
Date: October 19 2014 3:47 PM Title: Disorientation
@applecore666
I respectfully disagree, because I can't see how attacking a person who supports Beta rights, and making an organization that promotes Beta rights look stupid, helps Beta rights at all.
If anything Nathaniel's hurt Beta's rights because he's given the Alpha's a martyr. Alphas can say, 'hey of Alexandra was innocent who else have Omegas unjustly punished?', also it can raise hatred against betas. A beta actively scheming and punishing innocent Alphas isn't going to stop Alphas from committing violence against Betas, if anything it might increase it!
Date: October 19 2014 2:53 PM Title: Pieces
Excellent chapter man. I can't wait to see how it all ends.
Author's Response:
Thanks!