[Report This]Date: July 16 2014 10:14 PM Title: Chapter VIII: Escape the Prison to have a Volcanic Showdown
It's a good story idea but I really do think you need to put a bit more thought In to the details of it. I understand you wrote it on your phone which is pretty impressive knowing how hard it can be to type anything longer then a few sentences lol. Just think you need to try set the scene more explane the characters a bit more ect.
I also saw loads of Spelling mistakes there nothing drastic so it's not to bad but I would recommend proof reading it just to make sure before posting :). But other then that it was a pretty fun story.
-frankie x
Date: July 16 2014 12:38 PM Title: Prologue - How did it all begin?
Don't take the bad reviews too much to heart. Good for you for writing, enjoy getting something out there in the world.
Date: July 15 2014 3:45 PM Title: Prologue - How did it all begin?
*FYI: I changed all the weird spells into a little less weird chants.
*Reminder: Lay off of the hatred either write something nice or don't write anything at all. Also I only got one nice review from sickpuppies in The Adventures of PA McFalls ‘The New Indiana Jones’ I: PA's First Adventure and one nice review from Samius in Planet Tiny I: The Origin, so that makes two nice reviews total. So please write something nice.
Thank you.
[Report This]Date: July 08 2014 9:49 PM Title: Prologue - How did it all begin?
I’ve been seeing this on the Most Recent page a lot these days, (its hard to miss with a title that long) but from the description, it didn’t seem like something I would like. Then I looked at the comments, and all the pure hatred that is raining down on this story, and decided to give it a try.
For some reason, and even I’m not sure why, I love this writing. Its wonky, the wording could use some work, you barely describe anything in detail, I still have no idea who any of the characters are, and most of the time I have no idea what happening, but damn is it a fun read. Most of the time I have an idea of what is going on, and the story so far, all be it completely insane and unrealistic, is pretty enthralling.
One of the biggest up sides to the story is that it is funny. Like, really funny. I don’t realy know if that’s intentional or not, and I’m not trying to be mean when I say it, but its how I feel. For example, “She almost stepped on me, but luckily instead she stepped right over me. “Huh I guess that's why they call them your step mother,” So lame its awesome! And the name, Amanda McEvil. That is just pure gold.
Just one more thing, then I will shut up. If you could get away from the The Lego Movie rip offs, that would just be super. For me, when you take an entire scene straight from the film, it just takes you out of the story.
Author's Response:
Wow you are the first one that had given me a good review, but the reason it's so short is because I write my stories on my phone like I say in the Story Notes and I only have a short time to write them because I sometimes update a story once in the morning and another or the same one in the afternoon. Although all my stories will be Action/Adventure stories, but thanks.
[Report This]Date: June 30 2014 8:55 PM Title: Prologue - How did it all begin?
Ferrari California T Maranello unleashes their newest masterpiece, a brand name new drop-top, the California T. tag heuer watch bands replacement replicatag heuer watch bands replacement replica The convertible will be powered by a turbocharged 3 .9L V8 that pushes out 560 hp and 557 lb-ft of torque. Everything Italian muscle mass will get you from 0-62 in 3.6 seconds and may hit a leading speed of 196 mph. Other features include a retractable hard-top roof that folds down in fourteen seconds tag heuer microtimer replica tag heuer microtimer replica , Ferrari's most current F1-Trac traction management method, and improvements to the carbon-ceramic braking procedure with new composite discs and pads. >Posted on Feb 12, 2014
Okay, but it's not that kind of ferrari. The Ferrari I'm talking about is a real person most characters I have in my story are real people, For example Dylan McFalls/PA McFalls is me and Emma is my sister we are biological and Ferrari is her best friend. Mainly the only ones I make up is villians except on the stories that come after Planet Tiny I: The Origin in that story I made up Bet, Jet, Lord Osiris, Lady Universe, William Big Sr, and William Big Jr. In this story so far I made up Amanda McEvil. Mainly the good guys or hero are real unless the story is based on a movie like my story Planet Tiny III: Wake Me Up (Guest Starring Characters from ‘The Lego Movie’). Anyway my point is Ferrari and most of the other characters in my story are real.
Author's Response:
Date: June 30 2014 1:26 PM Title: Chapter II: The Adventure Begins
Are you trolling with this story?
Author's Response:
No. I used to make stories as a boy and they all had things to do with a giantess and that's why I joined http://www.giantessworld.net. Anyway the point is they were mainly ideas like this.