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Reviewer: frankstergirl Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 06 2014 9:43 AM Title: Chapter 2 - The Relaxing Rise

Well you can official add me as a reader :) I love this story so far perfect length and a good ammount of detail :) so much potential to go further

- Frankie

Reviewer: Cyrian Signed [Report This]
Date: June 05 2014 8:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

Love the idea!  I'm a big fan of unaware, especially things relating to unaware butt crushing and unaware vore.  Looking forward to the story.

Reviewer: Missmoony22 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 05 2014 2:20 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

You have my attention



Author's Response:

Thanks! I'll try my best to keep it.

Reviewer: Mr E Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 05 2014 11:22 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

This opening. it wasnt extremely long but it had SO much Potential crammed inside of it!  I love ideas like this and they always start out well but in the end it's how you write and much attention to detail you put in for an unaware story like this.

 

I would love to give you suggestions but I want to see how you start off first and then in future reviews I'll give you a few ideas. The only idea that I can think of now that wont disrupt your natural writing process is maybe theres a bonus round of sorts or an aniversary special where the number is increased from twenty. you could add it in as soon as the twentith person has perished.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!

Yeah, the opening was incredibly short; to be honest, I'm not particularly fond of introducing concepts that way but for this kind of story it's kind of how it needs to be done. I'm definitely going to try and add more detail later on. I noticed as well how limited and shallow my descriptions were. I also like the idea of a bonus round of sorts: it could definitely help to add more content if necessary.

Thanks again!

Reviewer: Chloe13 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 05 2014 6:21 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

I love the idea so you can add me to the list of your readers (:.

 

I won't suggest anything that I would like to see since I don't want't to influence your writing too much. It is always great to see another unaware story they are like candy to me.

 

Anyway good look and I will be reading each update of this so be sure to update.

 

-Chloe.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the feedback!

Hope I can do the idea justice for you.

Reviewer: sithlordnergal Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04 2014 10:21 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

This looks interesting. =D I love unaware stories like this

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: frankstergirl Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04 2014 9:03 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Introduction

Seems like a really good start and I love idea for your story :) I look forward to reading more

Author's Response:

Glad to hear it! Thanks for commenting. :)

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.