[Report This]Date: June 04 2014 9:13 PM Title: Chapter 6
I have enjoyed this story so much, and your ending here was just about perfect. Very few stories have touched on the feminist perspective inherent in an empowered giant woman, and you have done so masterfully here. It's been fascinating watching your story title gradually become more and more true as Lauren descended deeper into madness. You really did a great job making her a three dimensional human, to the point that you can almost sympathize with her monstrous actions. Very well done, thank you for a great story.
Date: June 02 2014 8:09 AM Title: Chapter 6
This has to be one of the hottest stories ive read in a while. The details you used to decribe things were amazing! I think the part that really stands out to me was when she rubbed her fingers together crushing the shrunken girl between them. Every last detail of what was happening to her was incredible.
It seems as though you may have left this open for a possible sequel?
That would be great if you did!
[Report This]Date: May 22 2014 4:30 PM Title: Chapter 4
Love this. Your descriptions of Laurel's unhinged thoughts strike all of the right notes, mirroring perfectly her increasingly desperate actions that lead to her shrinking her fiancé. He was also spot on, sealing his fate with his fantastically dark phone call. Please, please continue.
[Report This]Date: May 22 2014 2:13 PM Title: Chapter 4
Now thats what im talking about!
Laurel and a shrunk Ryan! Now this story is interesting again.
By the way, it would help if you rename the chapter titles in the future.
Anyway, I cant wait for the next chapter. Good work!
[Report This]Date: May 20 2014 12:55 AM Title: Chapter 3
Wow. I really enjoy the way that you explored her motivations, painting a picture of a woman pushed beyond her limits by the cumulative stresses and indignities in her life. I had attempted to write a similarly unhinged giantess who felt like the best way for her to rebalance her unfair and unjust life was to abuse someone tiny. However the very well rounded, if tragically flawed, woman that you're portraying here puts my character to shame. Really look forward to seeing how her fiancé reacts to her actions and future plans.
FYI, you referred to Ryan as Jake about four fifths of the way down.
Author's Response: Dammit, I literally forgot his name every time I had to refer to him. In my first draft I think he ended up with four different names. I'll fix that and tear the limbs off my editing assistant.
Far more than that, though, thank you for the kind and insightful words about Laurel herself. I'm sort of strangely attached to this character by now, even though she's quite different from anyone I know I feel like I understand her and share some of her emotional state from working with it for so long.
There's a few more chapters to come. I hope you'll enjoy them at least as much as you seem to have enjoyed what I've done so far.
~K
[Report This]Date: May 19 2014 3:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think this needs a better explanation as to why shes so bloodthirsty...I dont think 'the world fucked me over' is sufficient if she was a half-decent person before this. Of course, her just being a terrible person all along works well too.
Gotta say despite some gripes I have with this its Im surprised by how much I like this, being a violent story and all.
Date: May 19 2014 6:47 AM Title: Chapter 2
It's a little bit of a stretch to see Laurel going after her family and friends in this moment, but I feel like it's still believable to a point. She's been shattered, having everything in her personal and professional life taken from her in a single moment and is on her way to becoming a fugitive for perhaps the rest of her life. The one bright spot in this metaphorical dark hole she finds herself in is the utterly exhilirating power she experienced when she had a tiny, helpless man at her feet.
Laurel has experienced a life of powerlessness, taught to do her best and try hard and things would work out. I imagined and tried to portray her family as idealistic upper-middle class suburbanites, and for Laurel, who wants to feel good in the only way she knows how right now, they are both the most available and vulnerable people to her as well as the people that she can most easily blame for filling her with hope and sunshine in a world where reality is cold and dark and cruel.
I may not have expressed this as clearly as I wanted to in the story, but hopefully you can see my intentions as you continue to read. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as I post the remaining segments, and thank you for reading!
~K
[Report This]Date: May 17 2014 6:48 PM Title: Chapter 2
Liking the new chapter, but I'm hoping that you'll reveal that her mom and brother (and others that she contacted) actually deserved it. Otherwise it's kind of an unrealistic character progression, suddenly just going nutso on everyone.
Date: May 17 2014 6:00 PM Title: Chapter 1
I was on laurels side but now she just wants excuses to use the device and squish people. Killing an attempted rapist is one thing but the mom and brother seemed like reasonable people to me and she just shunk them outta the blue. Shes obviously gone off the deep end here. Even if she doesnt kill anyone else, shrinking people to kidnap them isnt exactly that much better.
[Report This]Date: May 14 2014 9:24 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is amazing! I honestly hoped that Laurel would've kept and tortured her boss instead of killing him.
Great writing by the way. Its an attention grabber!
Author's Response:
A lot of people suggested that, but the whole idea of Laurel and Fitch was something I just sort of came up on my own and wanted more for narrative purposes so she could get on to other more elaborate things in the future. Brutally smashing him seemed more in line with her emotional state at the time; I don't think she really had reached the mindset where she could consciously decide to sadistically abuse the man at that point.
[Report This]Date: May 14 2014 7:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is excellent, and not only as fetish fiction. Great descriptions, fantastic pacing, just really solid writing. Thank you for sharing. :-) Can't wait to read more of your work.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm going to be posting the rest of the story pretty regularly, so hopefully you'll enjoy the rest as you seem to have appreciated the first part.