what the hell is up with the giant action?

Damn poor snail almost got crushed by a male, snails don't deserve that.

This was entertaining! It strays away from my usual box, but has been humorous and clever along the way. The casual narration style works perfectly for setting the mood. I think I was most impressed by the phenomenal sentence structure you seem to have a gift for. The overall structure and transitions are surprisingly well organized considering the nature of the story. Though as semantics go, there are bound to be a few details that could be optimized, but that's hardly relevant for casual-fun writing!

I think the weakest point would be the minor characters-- I tend to look for strong characters in stories. It can be a hinderance when dialogue is limited given Nick's circumstances as well as managing the balance between developing characters and advancing the story, but honestly with as little time you spent on each minor character you did an excellent job creating their image as Nick moved from setting to setting. Either introducing reoccurring characters or reintroducing and further developing previous minor characters I think would help fill that gap.

Pardon the long review (sort of looks more like a critique now that I think about it), but I do very much admire your writing skills! I'll look forward to future content!

Hopefully he comes out the other end.  Most takes on the digestive system (and I've seen a few) cop out and have the subject being burped up or something.  That's no fun at all.

Just saw this story. Interesting ideas! Wonder if he's really taking the whole tour through her body haha

Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment, and yes he will get to see everything! At least the fun stuff.

I have read quite a few tranformation stories and most normally lack the detail to make the scenario interesting. Your story is a little weirder since it is an animal tranformation which again is something you don't see much of.

I must say though that your story idea is well executed details are good the story is good and the things happening to our little fly are so well described that I will admit it has managed to exite me.

It is good different but good

-Chloe

Totally in love with the plot :') I still hope youll could do an unfortunate ending, I know you said you didnt want to. Maybe you can do two endings, one "happy ending" and one not? Maybe one where he ends as bird poop haha :x I also had another idea for the fly. Maybe there could be a chapter with a police horse patrole, and him ending near one of the horses rear ends when it's lift its tail, could also be en ending idea, where one of the two horses says there is a pesky fly around his rear really bothering him and lifting its tail doesnt swish it away, and he asks his horse friend to deal with it, which does so in using his mouth to snap/lick for it and swallowing the fly. The irony would be, that the fly would end as horse manure.

I really liked the changing room seen, a bit more description would be even better. I feel this would be a whole lot better if you stuck to interactions with giant women instead of birds, but it's your story, so it's your choice. Boobs/butt and maybe giant articles of clothing are my favorite. :) Good story concept nonetheless.

WHAT! you finished it! this story has so much potential! do you need ideas? because i can give you some and I know there are tons of other reviewers who have requests too.

This chapter was cool because what voyeur doesnt like a changing room scene. I was surprised he he survived ashleys boot so easily but i guess Carlys stomp made up for it.

Another very funny chapter.  The only thing that doesn't make sense is the title.  Did this chapter used to contain something else, or do I just have a very different opinion of what constitutes a "changing room"?