Date: May 31 2022 7:13 PM Title: Chapter 9
Shame this is dead
Date: November 02 2014 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 8
I hate giving you flak (maybe it's constructive criticism, though?) but I really feel like you should have gone with your first draft. It's not just my preference for darkness, either. Logically, someone who has gone into a state of psychosis and is fully prepared to go through with the rape of another person IS NOT going to be talked down from it just because of the soon-to-be rape victim's "sad fantasy". They're gone enough (or twisted enough) to go through with it regardless of what their victim tells them. That's the thing. Rape is about violence. The rapist doesn't care that they're hurting the other person. The rapist doesn't care that the other person is in pain. For all intents and purposes, as sick as it is, Sarah SHOULD have gone through with it.
Author's Response:
I'm entirely aware of that much. More than I'd care to admit.
All things said and done, though, I do have a legitimate antagonist in the wings, and Sarah pulling off something to that extent would soften the other's impact a bit.
Realistically speaking, most of the events in this story would have gone differently. Mary would not have taken something along those lines so lightly, Jennifer would have done far more (especially considering her intoxicated state), Lauren would have continued her attempts to hit on Jennifer . . .
I have been making decisions from a literary standpoint, not one of realism.
Date: October 22 2014 11:08 AM Title: Chapter 6
I really enjoyed this chapter. Mary & Jennifer have developed a neat dynamic (friends but Jennifer has no problem stuffing her down her shirt), and I'm enjoying Mary's learning experience about what a crappy friend she was.
One question, Mary seems convinced that she's going to be returned to full size. Maybe I lost track of this plot, but have they been searching for the potion?
Author's Response:
Why, thank you. I do try to develop my plots and characters to a likable point.
Oh, you just ain't seen nothin' yet regarding Mary learning things about herself. I have a plan (again) regarding his whole endeavor.
I knew there was something I forgot to explain.
Okay, here it is: Jennifer's birthday took place on a Saturday. That means chapters 4, 5,and 6 are on Sunday. Due to the fact that (as I explained) it's the post office that distributes the re-growth serum, the fact that the post office is closed on Sundays means that she's stuck waiting until Monday at the earliest to requisition a new one, the assumption being that they simply forgot to add it in.
So, they've pretty much gven up on searching for it, and are waiting until Monday rolls around in-universe. That solve your problem?
[Report This]Date: October 07 2014 12:44 PM Title: Chapter 5
Hmmm... it seems Construct Mary is getting a little attached to Jennifer in more than a pet/owner or even a friend way. A side effect of the chemical imprinting OR feelings she didn't know she harbored? I wonder...
Author's Response:
Oh, quite a devilish question indeed.
Not one I'm answering quite yet, but devilish and good.
[Report This]Date: May 03 2014 7:44 AM Title: Chapter 3
Mary wants another go at that tongue,OR some breast smothering.
Author's Response:
I . . . I . . . I'll do both!
That way, I waste less of my plot notes. I'll have to add a tag.
[Report This]Date: April 27 2014 9:56 AM Title: Chapter 2
THAT WAS SO CUTE!
Author's Response:
Thank . . . you . . . I suppose.
I'm not sure how to react, honestly, but hey, if you liked it, I'm happy.
Date: April 24 2014 9:51 AM Title: Chapter 1
Cool, I look forward to seeing where this goes.
[Report This]Date: April 24 2014 6:55 AM Title: Chapter 1
Well, I enjoyed it. Regardless of whether it was meant to be comical or not, I smiled at Mary's cherry obsession and finger-fucking frenzy (with Jennifer's middle finger, how appropriate). The idea of needing to grow a Construct intrigues me. Wouldn't that mess with the world, having duplicates running around all over the place? Is the ability to be grown in case the "original" dies yet wants to continue living (not bringing the possibility of a human soul into the question)? Or is it just in case the owner of the Construct wants to have "normal" relations with it (including sex) if they don't see the "original" often (if ever)? Can the Constructs be re-shrunk after growth or is it permanent? Do they die? What happens if you make a copy of a copy? I'm sorry for bombarding you with so many questions, this is what happens when my curiousity gets piqued.
Author's Response:
Thank you!
That part was meant to have a good degree of comedy- a running gag, if you will.
Ah. Well, here is how the whole Construct thing is viewed in-universe:
Anyone can register to be part of a Construct program, and as such you can have a duplicate of just about anybody. Your file goes on record, and anyone can order a copy of you. If you order copies of yourself, it's immensely cheaper (the going rate for a Construct of yourself is about $300 plus S&H, of someone else is $725 plus S&H), and you get a small amount of compensation ($50) whenever someone wants a copy of you. The Construct has all the memories of the person from when they scanned themselves (this is important), as well as any errata from that time (for example, if you get your Construct made while your arm is broken, all Constructs of yourself have a broken arm).
The shrinking was actually a shipping thing. The only people with shrinking technology (at least in this universe) is the post office, who will shrink down large objects to make them cheaper to ship, but slightly more fragile. Technically, if someone broke into the post office and stole the shrinking serum, they'd be able to shrink anything (I don't plan to explore that, but I'll write it if it's requested).
If a Construct were to be scanned, the original would be contacted, to see if they wanted their Construct profile to be overwritten- they'd still receive any profits from others copying them, though.
Regarding whether someone wanted touse Constructs for immortality, that's physically impossible. Even if you were to repeatedly transfer your brain from body to body, the telomeres in your brain cells would eventually become too small to divide and the new body would be brain-dead. Not exactly pretty.
The owner of the Construct is permitted to do anything they want with their Construct, up to and including killing it.
Hope that answered everything. No probelm regarding the questions- I appreciate you taking the time to think about the implications.
[Report This]Date: April 24 2014 5:25 AM Title: Chapter 1
The theme of this story seems very similar to Jack Smith's YouPet, with the shrunken clone.
It seems promising though, keep it up. =)
Author's Response:
That is partially where I draw my inspiration from with this project, actually. I felt it could have gone on much longer, and explored much more ground.
Hence, the new scenario.