Reviewer: angeloflife Signed [Report This]
Date: April 26 2014 12:22 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Question,  why did they say if he doesn't get the injection he be dead within minutes? What would have killed him?

Author's Response:

His immune system can't cope with the bacteria on Home so they had to inject him with a chemical that helped boost his immune system. I'll explain it in the story soon don't worry.

Author's Response:

His immune system can't cope with the bacteria on Home so they had to inject him with a chemical that helped boost his immune system. I'll explain it in the story soon don't worry.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 6: All The Way To Doloria

Those in Jessica's society seem to have the same culture (almost) to those in English speaking Western countries. What do I mean by this? For a start they seem to have the same sorts of words regarded as "swear" words. You also mention that Jessica has a high Intelligence Quotient even though that test is a human invention. Since the society Jessica lives in is far more advanced one should think (assume) they have come up with a much better way of testing intelligence.

Here: 

"I wasn’t expected that. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

You mean: expecting

 

Finally, I find it odd that you would suddenly switch the perspective of the story and immediately give away what's going to happen in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Remember that everything is translated immediately so any swear word can still be understood. It may not directly be that word but it would still be a word that's an offensive term. Don't worry not everything is revealed for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 1:52 PM Title: Chapter 4: First Mission

You seem to really dislike commas for some reason. Your story is good otherwiese though. I won't point out too many errors this time though. Just this one which, if it had a comma would change the meaning of the setence:

 “Maybe I don’t know yet.”

Without a comma after maybe, it makes it seem like the person is saying that maybe they don't know yet, or in other words, they are not sure if they don't know. That's what it seems to me. I would suggest this:

 “Maybe - I don’t know yet.”

Author's Response:

Thanks again for pointing it out and I've made the change for you. Please can you tell me what you think of the plot so far, I know that you're enjoying the story but I just want to know if the gneeral plot is any good

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2014 3:18 PM Title: Chapter 3: Test And Training

I feel scared for Tucket even though I know I shouldn't. I'm sure everything under control but I have that feeling in the back of my mind.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 11:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I do enjoy reading this story. I believe I mentioned that in the initial paragraph of review.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 2: Girl's Night Out

There's probably things I've missed in my commentary, but oh well. The spacing between the paragraphs seems off. You ought to look at that since there doesn't appear to be any spacing between the paragraphs. I really like this story so the amount of discrepancies I found are a shame. You seem miss out commas in places. 

Here:

“Nonsense you’ll be the talk of the town.” 

I feel it should be either:

“Nonsense! You’ll be the talk of the town.”

OR:

“Nonsense; you’ll be the talk of the town.” 

Here:

and she stagger through the door.

I think you mean:

Staggered

Here:

In my case I’m not just tall I’m a full blown giant, even if I didn’t wear my heels the average person would still be around my ankles. 

I feel the setence might work better as:

In my case I’m not just tall, I’m a full blown giant. Even if I didn’t wear my heels, the average person would still be around my ankles.

Here:

“Fuck me you have flying cars?” asked 

He's not asking to be literally "fucked" I'm sure so, a comma after ME is required. Here's an example:

I love cooking my family and pets.

Should be:

I love cooking, my family and pets.

Since the person does not want to cook their family or their pets (I would assume they don't).

Here:

 “Sure we’ve had them for centuries,” 

I think you mean:

 “Sure, we’ve had them for centuries,” 

I'm not sure why but it seems to feel better with the extra comma.

Here:

look down at her incredibly tiny friend. 

You mean: looking

There way you worded this:

The woman behind the bar was the tallest woman that Tucker had ever seen in his life, well before he met Jessica that was. 

To me, it made it seem like Tucker had met the woman behind the bar before meeting Jessica.

Here:

“Sure as you already know Jenny is very small and Jessica is very big.”

I feel it would make sense to have a "." after sure.

Here:

I know what I’m doing besides a few more mes isn’t so bad.

I feel it would be better as:

I know what I’m doing, besides, a few more of me isn’t so bad. 

Here:

Jessica could see and hear her clearly

You appear to be missing a "." after clearly.

You then go on to talk about how Jessica has been avoiding accidents with cars. This seems a bit irrelevant given the circumstances.

I'm a bit confused by this sentence:

She quietly waved goodbye to her friends before Jessica moved on.

Who quietly waved goodbye? The only character mentioned by name before that sentence in that paragraph is Jessica.

Author's Response:

Thanks for pointing those out. I will try and improve in the future. I try to proof read chapers before I post them but I always miss a few. It's normal when you're reading your own work, that's why it's best to have someone else read it first because they will most likely spot mistakes. BTW are you enjoying what you're reading so far?

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 20 2014 5:16 AM Title: Chapter 2: Girl's Night Out

Amazing,  I must say.  This...will be my first time reading. So, to everyone that's already read it; Ha-haaa! ;) 

I'm really liking this so far....great stuff Doc!

-also, I'm glad you'll be posting everyday.

Author's Response:

Only until I've uploaded all the chapters I've written. After that the story will be updated at least once or twice a week.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 3:30 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I saw this story on Giantess City and was enjoying it so I'm really happy to see it here! I wanted to comment on it but I don't think the forum system is appropriate for reading stroes. It's nice to see that you're rewriting bit because when I read it the first time I did noticde a few mistakes (but not many). Reason I didn't comment is because the forum is annoying for commenting on stories in my opinion.

Reviewer: Truegamr5 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 8:51 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I loved this Story on writing.com, good to see someone's rewriting it here. :D

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 7:18 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Well you did it! Let me be the first to review it and say that this is just an amazing story! So far it seems to be geared towards something very different from the old one but I am getting ahead of myself since those chapters haven't been uploaded here yet.

Author's Response:

Thank you I already have 17 chapers completed with an additional 1-2 completed each week. I will upload them once a day until all completed chapers are online.

Author's Response:

Thank you I already have 17 chapers completed with an additional 1-2 completed each week. I will upload them once a day until all completed chapers are online.