[Report This]Date: August 27 2015 11:27 PM Title: Opportunity
please finish this story!!!
Date: February 24 2015 1:00 PM Title: Stage 01 Part II
Very good set up so far. Looking forward to Ms Hayes. Will there be any other giantess? Is this a product that will be used by the public? Maybe without their knowledge.
Thanks,
Diesel
Date: October 24 2014 3:37 PM Title: Stage 01 Part II
nice story
Date: October 22 2014 5:06 PM Title: Stage 01 Part II
Some thoughts then:
They're shrinking six inches per night, then. Either it's a slow acting drug, or their food is getting spiked. At this rate, they'll be less than a foot in eight to nine days.
If Cosmolex has done this before successfully, then what are they testing now? That's probably something that'll be revealed in later chapters.
Could you add the heights and date to previous chapters? It's actually quite helpful.
Author's Response:
*Snicker* >:3 Which isn't going to be very fun for either of them, I imagine.
Oh yes, indeed! All shall be revealed in time, I am sure. Though the only thing you're off on is that they've actually shrunk 10 inches per night, which does raise a few questions. (Certainly for them at least.)
Absolutely! In fact, done and done!
Date: October 22 2014 3:21 PM Title: Stage 01 Part II
So is this the day after the last chapter, or has more time passed?
Author's Response:
Its actually meant to be directly after they return to their rooms. (As they'd been asked to do so in the last chapter.)
HOWEVER! I accidentally screwed up by adding in the wrong in-story date and heights for the characters. I had been thinking about the next chapter after the one I posted today because it was already finished. So I'm going to have to edit that. XD My apologies.
[Report This]Date: September 13 2014 7:35 PM Title: Stage 01 Part I
Welcome back. Ominous things are happening at Cosmolex, and I get a strong impression that those two are up to no good.
Date: September 13 2014 3:11 PM Title: Opportunity
I think I know where this is going but it would be really cool if you swerved and left me shocked. I like where you're setting this up and really hope Sarah doesn't become a victim even though it looks like she will.
Date: April 18 2014 3:21 PM Title: Signing Up
What's interesting here:
The girl sighs lightly as she flips
Is that you refer to Sarah as "the girl". We already know who she is so you can refer to her as "she" or even Sarah. Also note the present tense. Your spelling is good though you need to work on tenses. You should pick a tense and stick with throughout the whole chapter.
Author's Response:
Well, certainly. But I don't always feel that saying 'she' or 'Sarah' is appropriate for the sort of flow I'm looking for in the story. It doesn't always feel right to write that, you know? I don't feel as though saying 'The girl' damages the readability of the story, however. As everyone is still aware of who's being spoken of.
Present tenses are used for all character actions and thoughts in the current time. Past tenses are only used for narrative purposes that can't be described in the present as they're not happening in the present.
I hope that helps to clear things up!
Thanks for the review!
Date: April 18 2014 3:07 PM Title: Opportunity
What you've got isn't bad, however I hve noticed that you tend t switch between past and present tense words. Also, the summary just one long sentence. I feel the summary you've got currently isn't good enough for the story you have. Not only that, you mention the name of the company before having actually introduced it. When looking at the summary I don't think readers care about the finer details. It's there to give people an idea of what they're getting themselves into, or in other words, sum up the story.
Author's Response:
HMM! Well, I find it to be appropriate to switch between past and present tense words for purposes of narration in certain circumstances.
Is it? My apologies, I never was to good at writing summaries. I'll actually have to look into editing that. Though, I do feel it gives people a decent idea of what they're getting into or at least the initial points of the story.
As for the mentioning of the company, I perhaps wrongly assumed most people following up on this story would have already been following my first posted story 'Trouble in the Disco,' which is based within the same universe and usually updated in similar timing.
At any rate, I appreciate and thank you for your review!
[Report This]Date: April 18 2014 10:52 AM Title: The Beginning
I like how you haven't told us what the drug is. One would assume that it's a shrinking drug, but what if it's something different? Soon, though, we're going to find out.
Author's Response:
All in due time, my friend! All in due time! :D
Thanks for an awesome review! Hoping to get up another chapter of TitD today as well.
[Report This]Date: April 16 2014 9:31 PM Title: Orientation
Feels like a really solid start on this. I just read it all, up to this, and the set-up is very well described, Sarah's already becoming common place, (excellent development) and the scentific research sounds very realistic, too.
Great start! I'll be keeping up with this one.
Author's Response:
Thanks, Midnight! I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the story so far and even more glad to hear you'll be keeping up with it. I hope I don't disappoint!
Thanks for the great review!
[Report This]Date: April 16 2014 7:28 AM Title: Orientation
Looks like Sarah's found a buddy in Tyler. Let's see what kind of a relationship they have once things get going.
Hope you enjoy! I know the pick up to kink is a little slow thus far, but once its starts I'm hoping you'll all enjoy. ^^ I prefer good literature, so take all the time you need to develop the plot and characters. I used to go straight to the smut, but now I prefer sex scenes that come naturally out of a solid story.
Being as she was a tad shy at times. "Being as" doesn't add anything to the sentence, so there's not much point. I just got some books on writing, and they're making me think about these things.
Author's Response:
Indeed!
I'm glad to hear that, my friend! I've been concerned people might be uninterested by the plot or development and just simply want the smut. So its nice to see that someone out there appreciates the development in the story as well.
HMM! Very fair, I'll try to keep that in mind. Thanks for the tip! Books on writing, eh? That sounds pretty interesting. I can't say I've ever even taking a class on writing. Though I was thinking of doing some college studies on it soon.
As always, thanks for a most excellent review!
[Report This]Date: April 15 2014 1:13 PM Title: Signing Up
If I hadn't read Trouble in the Disco, I'd think that Brenda is a very nice person. She seemed very friendly to Sarah.
Author's Response:
Hehe, I'd say that its always wise to be wary in my stories. ;)
Thanks for le review!
Date: April 15 2014 11:35 AM Title: Signing Up
Very well written, this scenario is really enticiing and I'm looking forward to the action.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I appreciate that, and I'm glad you're enjoying it as well.
Likewise, I'm hoping the action will come soon! But I want to have a slight build up to it to help also get the proper atmosphere out there. :3
Thanks for the review!
[Report This]Date: April 14 2014 5:30 PM Title: Opportunity
We already know that Cosmolex is a scary organization, and Trapped suggests that she's in for a world of trouble. Your reply, however, makes it sound like she could become a powerful member of the organization. Keep writing so that we can find out.
Author's Response:
>:3
I certainly shall! In fact, I'm already up to chapter 6. But I want to release it one chapter at a time so that I can have greater time to write and edit future chapters. Though, I'm considering releasing chapter 2 tonight.
At any rate, I'm glad to hear that the story is perking your interests! I wouldn't want to reveal what direction it might take, but I'm hoping I don't disappoint!
Thanks as always for the review! Your reviews are always entertaining to read and reply to.
Date: April 14 2014 2:44 PM Title: Opportunity
it's off to a good start. after reading that last sentence I think everyone but Sarah knows nothing good can come from that decision. or who knows maybe some good can come out of it?
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it!
Lmao, oh yes, I would say all of us on the outside would agree its likely not a good idea. >_>''
But who knows! I wouldn't want to reveal anything. Maybe it will turn out fantastically for her.
Thanks for the review!
Date: April 14 2014 10:50 AM Title: Opportunity
You've got my attention, looking forward to seeing where it goes.
Author's Response:
Glad to hear it and thanks for the review! :D