[Report This]Date: June 26 2014 10:23 AM Title: The Games Begin
Apologize for the late review. RL has been stressful, plus I was involved in that little squabble in the chatbox.
As for the story. I'd have to say the use of a boardgame is a nice touch. Ashley now must fight, or rather play for her own survival.
It'll be fun to see how this works out.
Also, I'm super excited for Emma's interactions with Ashley. Nothing would be more destructive to Ashley's already crushed spirit than to be used by Emma, her former best friend.
Brutal and Beautiful as usual Doll, I'll see you next chapter.
Author's Response:
Heyas, Sorry i didn't respond to this sooner, my stupid Outlook didn't give the notice email...
I didn't realise there had been a squabble in the chat box, i think i've only used that thing like... 3 times? Too many ego's and contradictory characters knocking about half the time for my taste. I just like having fun writing hehe =P Hope your RL has calmed down for you though ^_^
You've got the "play to live" thing right, after-all, what good is a shrinker that doesn't keep you entertained, too much hassle! Emma will get her turn, the others just need to get her a little more used to the idea that it's essentially what Ashley is for now ;)
Thanks for reading ^_^ Next chapter is up soon! (Been really wrestling over what chapter to do next, Goldilocks, or this, but i think i've chosen this for the next update! )
Date: June 19 2014 5:28 PM Title: The Games Begin
This is like brutal mario party, I dont know how else to describe it. I wonder if there will be brutal mini games?
Author's Response:
lol, i like the idea of it being a brutal mario party :P Leanne and Chrissy definately have some games in mind for Ash, not sure you could call it 'fun for all the family' however hehe Hope you enjoy ^_^
[Report This]Date: June 19 2014 6:57 AM Title: The Games Begin
i like this alot. very fun stuff.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much for taking the time to leave an all-too-rare rating/comment, its people like you that keep the site alive :)
Also, pleased you are enjoying this as its been fun to write, plenty more to come for poor lil' Ashley hehe ^_^
[Report This]Date: June 17 2014 7:52 PM Title: The Games Begin
That breast scene was awesome, I don't think I have ever scene it explained that way, the pure torment that would actually be felt if someone were really subjected to that. Fantastic job!
Love the overall helplessness you have conveyed of Ash, to be regulated to a game piece, she's completey at their mercy. Can't wait to see what fun they have with her next!
Author's Response:
I do like bringing new light to previously poorly-thought-out situations lol :P Benefit of being female and writing about females i guess, we know how much we 'move' lol!
Seems like i'm only writing this for about 3 or 4 people now, no-one else seems to enjoy it, but i guess they can go fuk themselves, i enjoy writing for my friends anyway ;)
[Report This]Date: June 04 2014 8:48 PM Title: Friend or Foe
That was not boring! Excellent descriptions as usual, you always make the reader feel like he is in the tinies place. Love how easily over powered she was by her friends toe and how you described the breast flesh constantly smothering her as it thwarts her efforts to get air.
Was checking back here ever day for this, so glad to have a new chapter to read, thank you!
Date: June 04 2014 1:43 PM Title: Friend or Foe
Chapter 3 is a lot of fun, I really enjoyed Emma's conflict.
Author's Response:
Thanks ^_^ I'm happy you enjoyed it, peer pressure is a wonderful thing ;)
Date: June 04 2014 7:16 AM Title: Friend or Foe
I'm liking this. I admit I didn't have time to do much more than skim and will probably need to come back and reread it, but the foot action was fun and I enjoyed the darkly humorous interactions of the girls as they rapidly began to see their former friend as a toy. I'm surprised you say you thought the chapter was boring, as there was still quite a lot going on even though it was mostly just conversation. I'll definitely be checking back in.
Author's Response:
Heyas, thanks for commenting ^_^ I was more-so bored of the time it took me to get the chapter finished really, i got about 3 pages of it out in one night, then the last page of it was a painful hack through the final parts before i finally reached a natural stopping point for the chapter... i think i was more-so bored of the slight writers block i was going through rather than the story, i just didn't see that at the time.
Hope you do get a chance to give it a proper read (hope you like it too lol!) :)
Date: April 21 2014 10:36 AM Title: A Harrowing Journey
great start
Author's Response:
Thanks :) Hope you enjoy the rest!
[Report This]Date: April 17 2014 8:27 PM Title: A Harrowing Journey
You are truly a master of descriptive writing. Your stories keep bringing me back over and over again.
My god, see what you've done! you've made me an addict.
Author's Response:
Mwahaha :P Thats how its done, give them a taste, then ramp up the game ;)
Dont worry, not too long until the next chapter, i'm just getting my head round how to convincingly reduce the girl's tiny friend into the girl's favourite new toy hehe
[Report This]Date: April 14 2014 8:02 PM Title: A Harrowing Journey
Couldn't have said it any better then wordsmith, great review for the start of another great tale, you truly are a master story teller.
Author's Response:
awww hehe thanks hun, the secret to my writing is that i actually put tiny humans through the horrors i write about in my stories, and film it. Then i can play them back and make sure i get all the right details, action and emotion into the stories.....
(I WISH!! LOL!)
[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 8:45 AM Title: A Terrifying Experience
You were right to delete that review. What kind of idiot doesn't know what converses are?
As for the story...
Your mastery of explaining how pathetic the tinies are never ceases to amaze. Lets not forget about the use of fear either. You can make a simple girl seem like a world destrying monster with just a few words (it takes me two paragraphs).
"A few tears stung at her eyes as she truly registered how pathetic she had become, reduced to running scared and naked beneath her own table to avoid being stepped on by a pair of dirty, sandalled feet."
The above sentence deserves extra praise for capturing everything I've mentioned.
Author's Response:
ha, i never know how to respond to awesome reveiws without sounding like some jibbering pleb lol :P
Really glad you're feeling the atmosphere of the story :) Hoping to continue on the same veign with the coming updates! Giving a sense of epic disproportion and helplessness >:)
Date: March 31 2014 3:29 PM Title: A Terrifying Experience
For those who may have wondered, I had to delete a review from someone who decided to give a 2-star rating just because apparently he couldn't work out what Converse were.
For those interested, the review literally read:
"whats a converse?
Part of a shoe?"
That was it... then gave a 2-star.
If the review explained anything, or seemed in any way fair, or even if it didn't just seem incredibly lazy, then i would have kept it here.
There were many ways to avoid giving such feedback. By using some part of your intellect to work out that the description of the shoes, mentioning the coverse had insoles and describing the fact that they were kicked off of a character's feet you might realise they are a shoe. You could also simply take 5 seconds to google the word "converse". So yes, i dont think it was appropriate to leave such 'feedback', and i've had it suggested a few times that for whatever reason the rating was personal, so I removed it.
Shame really :/ All feedback, positive or CONSTRUCTIVELY critical is welcome.
[Report This]Date: March 27 2014 7:31 PM Title: A Terrifying Experience
Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh! A story by Harlequin! Nothing makes me happier then seeing a story by you ;)
True to form, great as always. Love the set up, description, easy for the reader to feel like he is in Ash' place.
This is going to be one fun story, I can tell, thanks for sharing it!
[Report This]Date: March 27 2014 7:02 AM Title: A Terrifying Experience
Can put a divider (extra carriage return or *** or something) in there when switching perspectives, e.g., before:
"As Emma, Leanne and Chrissy"
As for the level of detail, I believe you nailed it. As a reader, I was able to experience Ash’s predicament in real time. The sounds, smells, etc. Very nice.
Author's Response:
Heyas, thanks for the rate/review ^_^
I'll edit to better separate the perspective switch. Its something i forgot to consider when proofreading because obviously i was expecting the switch :P Hope you continue to enjoy the coming chapters :)