Date: March 26 2014 2:57 PM Title: Chapter one
Hey I really like your story:) its short but damn i just love the unaware scenario and the toilet content.
Its a shame there is so little of that kind of story. Pls make more longer stories that are like that. I cant wait to read more stuff from you especialy with much more toilet parts. Excuse my poor english skills i am from germany.
Greetings from germany and thanks for the story
Date: March 23 2014 2:42 PM Title: Chapter one
I love the unaware aspect brother,you just ended his life a little too soon.
Author's Response:
Author's Response: I wrote this late last night and was very tired.Im actually just trying to get more response and constructive criticism and will rewrite them soon.Thanks though.Its approciated.
Author's Response: I wrote this late last night and was very tired.Im actually just trying to get more response and constructive criticism and will rewrite them soon.Thanks though.Its appreciated.
[Report This]Date: March 23 2014 1:43 PM Title: Chapter one
I'am like the story propose,but 2 things,1 - While most writers don't obey this rule,writing in a formal way with paragraphs can incentive reading,2 - I have a challenge called "A Super protective mom" that I think that could go well with what you have written so far,can you add some elements of it to your story please?
Author's Response: I actually just saw that and I will work on the passing and paragraph form but the challenge I might try soon.
Date: March 23 2014 9:46 AM Title: Chapter one
Thanks.I will try to be more attentive to detail and maybe edit these later.
Date: March 23 2014 9:36 AM Title: Chapter one
Again, pacing, paragraphs, and details are all things that you need to work on.