Date: March 07 2014 11:55 AM Title: John's Death
Good start - give fresh to characters on the next part and we are all set!!
Date: March 05 2014 7:26 PM Title: John's Death
I would like to offer some constructive criticism as requested in your chapter notes.
1) In my opinion you should make future chapters longer. Although 500 words is technically the minimum it really isn't much to read and will generally leave the reader disappointed. You know, wanting more.
2) I would also recommend dividing your text into paragraphs. This will make your story much easier to read, especially given this sites format.
This story has promise. keep on writing friend.
Date: March 05 2014 10:42 AM Title: John's Death
Very good start. Can't wait for next!!!
[Report This]Date: March 05 2014 2:58 AM Title: John's Death
Tags are there for a reason, and not for mixing all of them together. Also 500words is way too short for one chapter. Try not to publish under 3000words please.
Author's Response: If you are patient then you will see that the tags are used in later chapters and 500 words for the first chapter is only there to grab people's attention and give them a sample of what will happen through out the story. All other chapters are much longer than 500 words as they will include more of the story plot.
Date: March 04 2014 11:32 PM Title: John's Death
This could be an interesting story, but the fatal ending is kind of turning me off. I suppose there are alot of folks here that are into that kind of thing. I might consider continuing to read this if chapter one was just a tease and there's a nonfatal ending coming at the actual end of the story.
[Report This]Date: March 04 2014 9:35 PM Title: John's Death
I do like the start of this it is very good (;. Like Wizard pointed out the started at the end aspect is interesting. The writing is actually very good and you are doing a wonderful job.
I figured I will point this out but I recommend using paragraphs rather than a single block of text it just makes the story easier to read. Overall it is a very good start (: you are doing a great job.
Just remember write what you find fun to write makes the story that much better. Okay I am done with my rant (;.
Love
-Chloe
[Report This]Date: March 04 2014 6:27 PM Title: John's Death
I'm definitely curious.
Date: March 04 2014 6:13 PM Title: John's Death
Great story so far!! Can't wait for more!!! Also love buttcrush .., and I hoping for longer chapters if possible. Keep it up!
Date: March 04 2014 4:59 PM Title: John's Death
Cool start. I have not seen many stories that start in the future and then rewind to the beginning.
Looking foward to where this goes. If you could throw some insertion in here that would be great ;-D