[Report This]Date: May 12 2022 7:38 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
This story was a lot of fun. Despite the large cast of characters introduced in such a short time, I ended up invested in all of their lives and they way they were entwined. Dave in particular was particularly interesting; his story was so tragic and I was really hoping things would get better for him eventually.
I know this story is very, very dead and I'm probably typing into the void, but in case you ever read this, great story!
Date: March 15 2017 2:04 AM Title: Chapter 1: Arrangement
I hope Dave gets a happy reunification with his daughter
Also I hope Barbara gets karmatic retribution... maybe with a certain daughter growing distant and even saying with a snide remark "I think iv'e outgrown you"
And what will happen If the daughter (who's name now alludes me) catches whiff in an enlarged form of the man that "tore her family to pieces"
Date: June 30 2014 10:13 AM Title: Bios
Gah the dreaded bio chapter ah well it's a nice drawing at least.
Date: June 30 2014 6:23 AM Title: Chapter 1: Arrangement
Jump the shark? More like being inspired by TinyDann who is no longer on this site and so will Titan. It don't consider it jumping the shark but then I do use a bios page too.
Author's Response:
Yeah I didn't plan on one but with so many characters I can see why this story might need one.
[Report This]Date: June 30 2014 1:02 AM Title: Bios
You know, maybe the story was better without the character sheets. It kinda makes the story jump the shark. Zero stars!
(But seriously, thanks for going with my suggestion. Like super thanks. There are a lot of characters in the story and this will seriously help me follow everyone correctly. Also, your artwork is pretty good for such a short notice thing.)
Author's Response:
Jumped the shark like the Fonz! That's funny. Character sheets will continue just because I like doing them now. Just don't know if I should upload more roughs or wait to fix them. Hope you find it useful and thanks for the compliment it's a bit enbarrasing uploading art for the world to see.
[Report This]Date: May 10 2014 11:48 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Favorite relationship: Rain and Tyler, and not just because of their names. :)
Second favorite is Ramona, but I’m not a huge fan of Greg for some reason.
I kind of agree with @chrlorez. After I finish reading a chapter, I’m sad because I don’t get to see those characters again for a while. I kind of want a spinoff with just Rain and Tyler (and his family).
Author's Response:
I like Rain annd Tyler too.
Poor Greg he's trying his best.
A Rain and Tyler spin off? Hrmmm?
[Report This]Date: May 10 2014 10:49 AM Title: Chapter 8: Elevation
I like Raine! How tall did she get?
Author's Response:
Just enough for Tyler to look up at her, but if Ramona's any indication Rain could be in for a growth spurt down the line.
[Report This]Date: May 10 2014 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 3: The View from Below
Emily is a bit mean but I still like her. She’s realistic. Very sweet that she would let Mary (you misspelled that) live with her.
I find it strange however that normals are in the minority. I feel like it would be better if they were still the majority in terms of number. Just an opinion.
Author's Response:
It's a transition period right now there are still lots of normal but we're focusing on specific normal people who have many elevated around them. Rain is the first to elevate in her family and Dave lives in a primarly normal nieghborhood. Unfortunately elevation is inherited genetically so kids born after thier parents elevate are born elevated. Greg's parents are trying right now wish them luck!
[Report This]Date: May 10 2014 10:00 AM Title: Chapter 2: New
Wow, how did I miss this story? How do people get elevated? The first chapter was a bit suspicious. Anytime I read something like:
'She knew in an instant. She was in love.'
I raise an eyebrow...seems contrived, too fast. Then again, I've been guilty of that.
However I loved the second chapter. I really hope to see more of Ramona!
Author's Response:
I going to adress how elevation happens in a side story, here's a hint Sammy took a field trip in this story to a very interesting place. She's less in love with him and more with what he can give her. Liana is not a good person, she did kill a guy.
Date: April 27 2014 11:23 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Hey, heck of a chapter. All of the tangents are coming together in an impressive fashion.
There were plenty of times where I had to take a moment to remember who a particular character was, but it never took long. They each have a unique situation and outlook that it always clicked in after a second.
Author's Response:
Thanks. I knew there would be a lot of characters based soley on the nature of the story. Aware of this I tried to limit the amount of charaters in each chapter making sure that chapter focused mostly on them. Until this point at think "Runt of the Litter" had the most characters in it at one time and that was because we were focusing on Tyler and his family. Sadly it still seems people are confused so I'll be trying to remedy that soon.
[Report This]Date: April 27 2014 7:33 AM Title: Chapter 1: Arrangement
I'm really enjoying the story, but i have to agree with a lot of people that it's becoming rather difficult to remember all the characters.
Anyway, i'm curious to see what's gonna happen with René. I hope she gets her life back together.
Also, what's the average size of a class 3 elevated? It seems to be more varying than class 2. For example, i'm not sure how tall René, Barbara and that secretary are, but it could range from 6 feet to 30 feet or so.
Like someone below me said, maybe you could make a character sheet, including the most important characteristics and properties.
Author's Response:
Okay I have something planned I was going to reveal it after the story was over and done with but I guess I'll start it now. The only problem is it will push back the actual story so I can work on it. Expect a non story related update soon.....remember you people asked for this.
[Report This]Date: April 27 2014 4:53 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Love the chapter, but I have one HUUUUUUGGGGGEEE problem with the story. I lost track of all the characters. I think you've made over 20 characters who are all major players. And I love "A Song of Ice and Fire", but at least there are identifiable factions in the story to help me figure out who is who.
What I'm saying is that you should make a character sheet with relations to other characters. Cause I keep getting lost.
Author's Response:
Uuuuuuum sure? and don't worry no more new characters at least not important ones.
[Report This]Date: April 27 2014 1:10 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Very interesting and informative chapter. Seems like things might be about to escalate a bit, especially with Mary there since I can't imagine Ramona won't contact her about what happened to Greg.
Random thoughts:
Sammy is a good girl. That said, you have her age listed as 5 over in Runt of the Litter, but in a response you said she was 8.
Can't help but wonder what happened between Ramona and Greg at graduation. I can't help but think that Ramona made expressed not just her power, but that she could easily upgrade from Greg if she so chose.
Fuck Barbara. Forever and always.
Didn't see Sheila and Amy becoming friends. That should be interesting.
Even more interesting is that Sheila is apparently on good terms with Tyler's family. I wonder how much longer that will last, though, when she shows up at his party, potentially causing Rain to let his family know what she's been doing at school.
If Ramona finds out about Lauren's involvement in stealing from Greg, I can only hope she's able to do something to make it right in Ramona's eyes. Cause uhhhh damn.
A part of me wonders if Ramona's anger might lead her to asking Walter if he knows anyone who might have been involved in the mugging.
Liana's story was surprisingly cute despite the...cruelty to it. It's nice to see that she really does have some manner of attachment to Jack.
So really, another good chapter. Will continue to eagerly wait for more.
Author's Response:
OF COURSE SHE'S FIVE DAMMIT ...MORE EXPLETIVES.... that's part of the reason I'm breaking for a bit burnout and to really plan these next chapter's (stories almost over folks) I will however be reading and correcting all my dumb mistakes: double words to/too swaps stuff like that
Yeah that's probably going to br a side story......let's just say they had a break.
HAHAHAHAH.....HA!...heh...she's a bitch
Yeah makes you wonder what will happen at that party between Rain and Sheila who are both invited she'll most likely be there too
And then they'll all step on her...oh wait she's a giant too.....they'll lecture her with stern words and become......DISSAPOINTED!!
This could end a lot of ways the Walter siblings don't know Ramona like they knoe Mary and Lauren does see Rene as kind of a sister we know what the Walter sisters do to people who threaten their smaller siblings
.....dammit.....sigh....I don't know why I even try sometimes.........dammit
Yeah attachments a good word.
Thanks for the comment.
y
[Report This]Date: April 26 2014 5:53 PM Title: Chapter 1: Arrangement
I have a feeling things are going to hit the fan at Tyler's party and/or the upcoming wedding. I too see that these stories just might be converging. A very good chapter. Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Quiet!...You're giving the plot away.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2014 5:01 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Wow you don’t really realize just how many characters/connections there are till they’re all laid out like this. Still despite the enormity of viewpoints I thought it flowed very well. Though I will say Giant Jogger Mary left me confused was that a different Mary? Was it Lauren and just a name slip (she did say Tyler was her brother). If it’s Lauren that’s even funnier really.
Author's Response:
Thay was a typo it's Megan the third sister and closest to Tyler in age. She's the tomboy of the family. She was also the first to elevate in the family and youngest one before Sammy.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2014 4:27 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
Wow, so many people are like one degree separated from each other. Some are in for a rude awakening.
Not sure if Liana's story has the effect she wants, but at least she's trying.
How old is Sammy again? Trying to get an idea of about how much Rain can lift. Actually, how big is the rest of the family? I think we only know Emily's height and that she's the tallest.
I hope Lauren doesn't get caught up in Ramona's vengeance. I wonder if Greg does meet the family and if anyone puts two and two together.
Aww, is Mary going to shoot Emily down? Speaking of Mary, I think you mission titled Megan's part.
Wow Dave's ex is more of a bitch than I thought. The sad part is Barbara is somehow trying to do right by her daughter and is going about it completely wrong.
So Sheila is thinking of going to Tyler's party, with Rain probably being there, and she's making friends with Amy? That going to be good. I need to know more about her history and motivation.
Wonder if Water will be the next one hired to take out Jack? He does need money.
Author's Response:
Wow this is a lot to answer( deep breath) here it goes.
It's the thought that counts she's probably opened up to him more than anyone else
Sammy's 8 and proportionally still a small child. Emily is the tallest at 187 feet but the rest of her family even her father and actually most class 2's not breaking 170 her mother is about 150 and all of her daughters minus Sammy are taller than her.
I hope she doesn't get caught up to but you never know how these things play out.
There gonna take this slow...also....AAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DO I KEEP MAKING THESE MISTAKES! THIS STORY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!.....thanks for spotting that.
She's trying .. and failing
The party should be interesting to sat the least.
Who knows Walter's weird.
Date: April 26 2014 3:56 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World
ooh, this chapter reminds me of a movie i can't remember the name of. Where all the characters start out as seperate stories but eventually you realize their all connected. This is the part of your story that shows once and for all what all the connections are. I like it, even if life is getting increasingly depressing for our four normal protagonists. I hope they get some breaks soon.
Also I think Rene has a major beat down coming her way.
Author's Response:
One hell of a beating at least what Greg got although most of that was an accident ir semi self inflicted.
Date: April 26 2014 3:18 PM Title: Chapter 1: Arrangement
Aww, Liana's not a bad gal. She's wants to protect those she loves, even from herself...I guess I was wrong about her, she CAN place blame on herself.
Killing that guy was harsh but it's not as if she killed him for no reason! It's a weird love of convenience, but I think what she feels for Jack can be called love.
Author's Response:
It's some kind of love I'm not sure about hoe Jaskson feels about being compared to a giant stuffed animal.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2014 10:20 AM Title: Chapter 12: Seriously Dangerous
I kinda of want to see what happens with Greg and Ramona. Quick question, is she powerful enough to be a threat to the whole city if she goes hunting for the people who hurt her man?
As to Liana, someone tried to kill Jack and she just leaves him there after? I would have made a comment like, "well than you need to take better care of your things."
Author's Response:
A threat to the whole city?...maybe if she really lost it and just started murdering random people. I haven't completely fleshed out her abilities but a full power she could probably level a city block.
PPPFFFT! HAHAHA that was a pretty nice dig. XD I left it like that to setup something for the next chapter but maybe it's a little unbelievable. Oh well live and learn I guess.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2014 4:19 AM Title: Chapter 12: Seriously Dangerous
Haven't seen Mary and Emily in a while; I'm curious as to what they're doing since Mary evacuated her apartment. Also, Dave is cool: keep writing about that. Give Greg and Ramona a rest for now; I'm going to be honest, until very recently very little interesting has happened in their lives.
Author's Response:
I'll be touching base with them soon and maybe Greg and Ramona have been a little boring especially Greg who hadn't done anything until his chapter but that was the point of it.