Reviews For The Teleporter
Reviewer: R1111 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 02 2014 10:34 AM Title: Chapter 1
Date: February 02 2014 10:34 AM Title: Chapter 1
Loving this story so far!
Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: January 30 2014 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 1
Date: January 30 2014 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 1
Gadgetmawombo is right. The narrative text and the character dialogue require A LOT MORE SEPARATION. Otherwise, these are probably the three kindest reviews you are going to get on these first two chapters!
Reviewer: shrinkchicken Signed [Report This]
Date: January 29 2014 4:11 PM Title: Chapter 1
Date: January 29 2014 4:11 PM Title: Chapter 1
It's a nice start. The footplay was entertaining and I feel that this story has a lot more to give. Please continue writing it.
Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: January 28 2014 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
Date: January 28 2014 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good start to your first story! My advice:
Break up the huge paragraphs into smaller chunks! People get intimidated by word walls! I save my review score for after this gets a few more chapters, its hard to rate this right now!