Date: February 25 2014 10:45 PM Title: Chapter 1: Life of the Party
Another great entry in this story my friend. I was wondering if there was any plans to include maggies friends in on the fun in the next installment. What ever happend to ella btw?? (on a side note do you have any current plans for an epilouge to Family Reunion, definitely one of my favorite stories of yours) keep it up man!
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! I do plan to bring Maggie's friends in soon. Ella is trying to put some distance between herself and Scott after what he did in this story, and I'll make sure I address that in the next one. No immediate plans for a Family Reunion epilogue, but I've recently heard from a number of people who want one, so that is definitely on my mind at least.
Date: February 20 2014 1:10 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
I've been debating posting this review for the past several days simply because I was unsure if I should, given that the actual content of this story/series is not really meant for me at all. I figured I may as well at least get it off my chest, though, because I'm tired of thinking about it. This is more narrative and character analysis, and I fully admit that I'm probably looking a bit too much into my own tastes with it, but oh well.
I'll preface the rest with just one quick statement: None of the below is meant to absolve Scott of his culpability whatsoever. He fucked up bad, and he obviously has to eventually make that right.
But ultimately, he's not the only person in that house with that culpability. Judy is not blameless for what happened, and her physical and emotional abuse of her son over the course of his formative years lead directly to his lifestyle and what happened to that woman. A hallmark of abused people is that they tend to hugely fuck up later as a result of it, and that's basically what I see at play here. Narratively, I find it sickening that Scott has actually been sentenced to suffer at the hands of the person who is ultimately just as guilty of the crime as he is, for no other reason than the fact that his mother essentially made her abuses legal in the eyes of the law. It's essentially her manipulations coming full circle: She broke her son through her own sociopathic hedonism to the point where not only did he lose his escape from her abuse, but he lost it through something that society at large will pin solely on him because rarely do people look beyond the surface of why some people act the way they do.
It's why I got such a pit in my stomach over the falling out with Kyle: He and Scott are, in my eyes, the only two people in that house who actually care about that woman and her child. Yes, Scott massively fucked up in that talk, but I really hope that as time goes by, Kyle starts to see that his older brother is sorry for what he did and that the two people having their way with him don't care about the woman, they care about the opportunity Scott gave them.
On Maggie...
Well, I honestly snarled in disgust when she mentioned that woman and her baby to Scott because, as more or less stated above, no part of me believes that she cares. Judy's done a good job of raising a girl she can live vicariously through. It has always struck me that Judy doesn't seem to demand of Maggie what she liked in Ella during the first story: That despite enjoying the domination, she loved Scott as a person. But I get the feeling some things about Judy have changed since.
But, on the other hand, and this may be me looking for what I hope to be there:
I think Scott's apology did more than he may think it did. Maggie, ultimately, is not Judy. She is incredibly opportunistic, but I don't believe she has ever shown the sheer manipulativeness that Judy has, even in Boot Camp. That ability to always leave you guessing as to what she's really thinking. Maggie is honest, if not in words, then in actions and mannerisms. Most of Scott's fuckups with her come from bad decisions where he either refuses to read or react to her very unsubtle personality. But for just a moment there, her little persona broke, and I think (and hope) that moment might be genuine. In the short term, I don't expect it to do anything for him. But it might be a seed he can cultivate as time passes by simply taking any opportunity he can to behave a like a brother to her, whether it be potentially helping her with homework or just being the only person there for her to talk to if something happens in her personal life outside of the house.
Boy that was a lot of words about a fetish story.
That certainly was quite a few words about a fetish story! I appreciate the thought you've given your opinion on this, especially since, as you say, the content itself isn't to your tastes (I believe I remember you saying you lean more towards gentle content). Your take on Judy's culpability is pretty spot-on, and is definitely something I want readers to take into account when they see how much a winner she comes out of this whole thing. Even outside of fetish stories, it always interests me to consider the blame of outside factors when an individual commits a heinous act, either intentionally or not. Kyle is certainly the only member of the family solely focused on the actual victims, and as these stories go on he will come to be a little more in Scott's corner. As for Maggie, you're quite correct that she is not completely her mother's daughter. Judy is a power-hungry matriarch, and while Maggie does relish having control over Scott, her desires come out of a deeper hurt and adolescent emotion as opposed to Judy's purely dominating instincts; so, it is fair to say that not all hope is lost for Scott in convincing her to come around to his side as well. Thanks again for your thoughts on this!
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: January 23 2014 5:45 AM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
Resolve...I wonder how long that will last. Cannot wait for the next installment, I want to see Maggie take Scott to practice. I also hope scot does something to really piss off Judy and Maggie both so that there real sides come out. As for grammar and such I found nothing. You have smoothe writing and excllent ideas as usual. I love reading your stories. I hope you keep writing for a long time.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing/reading! I know I frequently tease the idea of Maggie wearing Scott to soccer practice, and I do intend to pay off that implication someday. You can probably expect to see Maggie and Judy being a little truer to themselves in future installments now that Scott is legally theirs to abuse. I'll keep on going with these stories as long as people enjoy them.
[Report This]Date: January 22 2014 9:06 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
Really great suspense throughout this... I kept wondering when Maggie was going to squish em' heh, heh...
Look forward to more of the Stevens family, and Scott ;`)
Great work Jack!
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! I definitely wasn't going to end this installment without letting Maggie stand on him a little.
Date: January 22 2014 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
Wow. A great ending! Hope you release part six soon.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much. I've got a few other stories I'll be working on before part 6, but these are fun to write, so it's in the back of my mind.
Date: January 21 2014 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
So hey, between these last two chapters I binged through Rise of a Princess which I had somehow missed.
I mean the following statement to be taken in an extremely favorable manner as it encompassed my thougts of going from Maggie to Caroline then back to Maggie in this chapter:
How the hell?
Author's Response:
Hehe, what can I say, I like a little drastic variety in my fetish stories. Glad to hear Rise of a Princess is still occasionally getting some use.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 3:31 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison
A millisecond after her proposal to apologize he would have said "I will" rather than just doing it... but I guess she didn't give him the time to think about it, which is good, because knowing he's unlikely to improve his position makes his apologies more sincere I guess (or at least that's how my mind works).
More seriously, I think I've written a few times how good you are at surprising us in a way that's just so OBVIOUS after you read it, so I won't repeat it here: my only criticism is that this one time it worked only 90% as good as usual, because it wasn't very clear that/how much he'd been a jerk to her from the rest of the series.
You know, I had to write that, because (again: seriously) you have no idea how difficult it is to find something to criticize in your stories ;p
Can't wait for episode 6, let's hope it will be in 2014!
Author's Response:
Thanks for all your reviews on this story. I see what you're saying about the apologies he gives. That was intentional; he's not really "practicing" it like she suggested, but rather just kind of stewing in his own bitterness at himself and the situation. I realize I haven't given a ton of background on the characters to suggest Scott really was so terrible to Maggie in the years before; however, it's probably safe to assume Scott is just trying to make himself sound worse than he actually was in order to be forgiven more quickly. And I fully intend for the 6th one to be posted in 2014, though I'm sure someone will call me on it if it's not.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 9:56 AM Title: Chapter 16: For All the World to See
Love this chapter. Love to see Maggie breaking out in her own way. Hope to see more of her and her "gentle" play. Even thought this story is almost finished, I still see a bad time for Scott ahead. Love this series. On critisim I just wished I saw more play from Maggie. Like foot/ass torture or other types of mean behavior. I hope you write on that behaviour in the future. For grammar/spelling I couldn't see mistakes. I see another classic in your future.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading/reviewing! Scott does indeed have some rough times ahead. As I told another reviewer, this story has mostly been a set-up for Scott's house arrest, which will continue in however-many-more-of-these-I-make; now that it's firmly established, the 6th story will get a bit raunchier, including more footplay and probably some butt interaction as well.
Date: January 19 2014 7:26 AM Title: Chapter 16: For All the World to See
If it were me, I'd probably be on the verge of insanity. Or suicide. Or something... if he had ever been thinking of changing his mind and going to jail, he's just lost that option -- and that's just one of many, many consequences that came into my mind (after just a couple of days!), picked basically at random.
Luckily for us, I'm not him :)
PS
I've probably already written this, but given that I feared that there wouldn't be a fifth installment, your reply to dudeduderson2000's comment is greaaaaaat news!
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. As dark a notion as it is, those ideas of Scott's mental state have crossed my mind too, but rest assured he'll have a new lease on life before this story is up. And there definitely will be a 6th part, though when it comes out is anyone's guess (including mine).
[Report This]Date: January 19 2014 4:48 AM Title: Chapter 16: For All the World to See
Scott finally getting it might save his sanity...not his humanity mind you but it will make his days a bit easier.
Author's Response:
It just might, providing he can learn to do what he's told. Thanks for reading!
Date: January 18 2014 10:48 AM Title: Chapter 1: Life of the Party
Huh, I guess that answers the bemused thought I had of "What If Judy had been Jack and Carly's mother and found him."
Just wanted to pop in and comment on how good your writing continues to be both in prose and character development, and that you continue to be my go-to source for a pit in my stomach.
Author's Response:
I don't think I could bring myself to give Jack a mother like Judy when he's already got Carly to deal with. It would be far too unjust a world to exist in.
Thanks very much for the review. I always strive to throw readers into uncomfortable tumult when reading my stuff.
[Report This]Date: January 18 2014 10:42 AM Title: Chapter 1: Life of the Party
Great stuff, as usual. I like Scott's realization of the full measure of Judy's power at this point. Maybe you could have a scene where Judy takes pictures of Scott being forced to kiss and smell her feet (him scrunched under her toes) and either uploads them to Facebook and/or makes him look at them later with her, where she forces him to say how he felt in each scene and what her feet smelled like.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading/reviewing. While the Facebook thing wouldn't quite be Judy's style, I could certainly see her wanting a little more personable attention on her feet in the future.
Date: January 18 2014 10:38 AM Title: Chapter 16: For All the World to See
Only one more chapter!?! He hasn't nearly been underfoot enough yet, hope to see a part 6 someday.
Author's Response:
This story was mostly a set-up for Scott's new life being imprisoned at home, but now that it's almost over, it's probably fair to guess the foot action will be heavier in the 6th part.
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 15: Extreme Makeover, Shrunken Brother Edition
Excellent chapter!! I'm looking forward to more of those "Memories of Nancy/judy bathing him" scenes in future installments.
Speaking of Nancy, her ability to "exploit Scott and sexually degrade him" could have potential as a standalone story. It could be called "Mommy's Time-out(??): Babysitter". Well, one could hope lol
As for Maggie, I hope she becomes more playful/aggressive in a mature way.
Oh, and I know how to "cure" Scott of misbehaving. Just give him to Carly for a week. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! I certainly plan on having more raunchy scenes, particularly in later stories, and you can expect to see Maggie leading the charge in that department. I'd like to have Nancy show up again too if I can figure out a good angle for it. And I'm pretty sure giving anyone to Carly for a week would not only cure them but render them mentally incontinent.
[Report This]Date: January 15 2014 5:19 PM Title: Chapter 15: Extreme Makeover, Shrunken Brother Edition
Maggie keeps the tradition alive.
Author's Response:
She does indeed. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: January 15 2014 5:07 PM Title: Chapter 15: Extreme Makeover, Shrunken Brother Edition
Wtf... I can understand he was in such a situation that the instinct to cover himself didn't kick in, but why on earth didn't he do it when she told him to do it?
Anyway, I totally agree with zephilia: instagram was a neatly idea, and well played -- after the phone I didn't expect anything worse to happen in the last couple of lines, and I guess Scott didn't as well :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing. I know it made logical sense for Scott to do as he was told, but these stories would probably be pretty boring if he was capable of rational thinking. I'd been wanting to use that Instagram idea for a while and realized this was a fitting place, so I'm glad you thought it worked.
[Report This]Date: January 15 2014 3:37 PM Title: Chapter 15: Extreme Makeover, Shrunken Brother Edition
Love the new chapter. I love how Maggies gives Scott choices and when he doesn't act or care shes like fine and then he regrets not making a choice. Secondly I love how she is kind of blackmailing him with the instagram thing. Hope she does even more. I doubt that Maggie will stop at playing dolls. I hope she has a full exploration and a full lis of ideas coming up to humiliate and make Scott her "doll". I just king of wish she was more violent I guess.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. This particular story is beginning to draw to a close, but now that we've pretty firmly established Scott's new relationship with his family, you can probably expect to see things get rougher and raunchier in the next one.
[Report This]Date: January 13 2014 5:10 PM Title: Chapter 14: Prettiest Doll of All
Maggie has thw whole punishment thing down well I'd say.
Author's Response:
She has it down to a science.
Date: January 13 2014 9:31 AM Title: Chapter 14: Prettiest Doll of All
His clothes would have looked larger if he had shrunken smaller :)
Calling her friends is worse than I expected, and about the clothes... well, I hope for Scott's sake she's not so devious to count it as "reasonable"...
Author's Response:
Good catch on that error. And Maggie's parameters of reasonable are very wide indeed.
[Report This]Date: January 13 2014 9:25 AM Title: Chapter 14: Prettiest Doll of All
Love the :niceness" of Maggie. I really hope she starts neing her usual "nice" self when scot is being punished. Also I hope the two friends are just as "nice". I must say I love the work up. You can almost fell her anxiety. I can see her quvering just wanting to call him a toy or doll. It must be frustrating playing it smotthe. I bet Maggie will not hold out long. Her bitchiness WILL break out and when it does..., lets just say I will [slightly] feel sorry for scott. Great chapter to break maggie in.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much! And you can expect to see Maggie's truer self come out in the next couple chapters.