[Report This]Date: April 06 2015 5:21 PM Title: Chapter 1
Kaneda, I'm so happy you're writing again! You continue to amaze with your exquisitely vivid prose, and I can't deny that I get extremely worked up reading the wonderfully sensual foot scenes that you create. I've never encountered a story that made feet seem so... magnificent. Like a rare flower or gem. Plus the characters (Lucy especially) spring larger than life from the... err... screen.
I don't need to belabor the point, so I'll just talk about the one thing that's been bugging me these last few chapters. While I'm going to come off as a hypocrite for saying this, I'll go ahead and shoot myself in the foot by complaining about all of the super sexy foot scenes. Yes, I undoubtedly enjoy them and yes I'd be perfectly content if you continued writing foot scene after foot scene in this fashion (your writing is that good). However, I have to say that I'm left wondering why the plot hasn't advanced. You had built up a decent amount of momentum in the first few chapters with some interesting reveals (pokeballs capturing humans, the Shauna Situation, etc.), however from there the story slows down considerably and has taken a more domestic turn (the day-to-day life of Chloe and her foot slaves -- not a bad story either!).
I guess my point is this: this story is great -- but it could be fantastic (or whatever superlative you prefer). All you need to do is figure out how to advance the plot while also feeding all the greedy foot-lovers like myself out there. That being said, I have to reiterate: I'd be perfectly happy to keep reading all of these wonderful foot scenes. Still, it just feels like a little bit of a shame that you haven't fulfilled the potential of the great setup you've created.
Author's Response:
I felt the need to really let Lucy deal with the fact that she'd just crushed what could arguably be called her best friend beneath her boot. I didn't feel comfortable letting her move on too quickly from that and I wanted to sort of build the idea that Chloe was kind of training her into something special, and I wanted to explore Lucy's emotional situation a bit more before I moved on to the next big part of the narrative.
Her progression from the horrified girl the ball that watched Malva and Chloe from inside a shoe after returning home to the girl who nearly pulverized the grunt's face beneath her heel and made Malva kiss her foot, to the more grounded Lucy that you'll see in the next chapter I'm working on as well was something I wanted to be emotional and exciting yet still relatively believable. The next few chapters will move fairly quickly, and I'm almost sad to say we're somewhat nearing the end.
Thank you for the feedback as always. Insightful commentary on my writing is really the greatest reward I could ask for.
Date: August 30 2014 2:48 PM Title: Chapter 1
I know this might sound whiny, but do you intend on continuing this?
I rather like this story, and would love to see it continue.
Author's Response:
I've gotten rather mired in other projects, but I think about this story all of the time and have much of the remainder planned, it's just a matter of making time to finish it and clearing out my other projects. Count on it being concluded, it just happens to be about fourth on my priority list right now for writing projects. I'm glad you enjoyed what I have so far, though, and I'm sure the concluding chapters will entertain you as well.
[Report This]Date: March 06 2014 7:01 PM Title: Chapter 12
To quote Mac from Super Troopers, "Damn, that's good"
Malva needs to rule them all though.
[Report This]Date: March 03 2014 5:27 PM Title: Chapter 11
I love me some Malva.
[Report This]Date: January 14 2014 2:02 AM Title: Chapter 10
Glad to see this back.
[Report This]Date: November 15 2013 1:46 PM Title: Chapter 1
Kaneda, I wasn't planning on reading your story because it's a Pokemon fanfic, and I didn't want my childhood obsession for raising the very strongest Pokemon to clash with my adulthood fetish for feet/unrealistically-sized women; that being said, I liked the tags and eventually gave it a shot -- and boy am I glad I did! This is such a cool story, I don't even really know where to start. From a writer's standpoint, I admire your technical prowess: your descriptions of Lucy's conflicted feelings in particular put us right in her shoes. However, what's really special is the plot: you have so many cool ideas, and all of them fit seamlessly within the Pokemon world. The story is compelling without being derivative, and the nature of the plot also makes it easy to blend in fetish-type scenarios without having their presence jar the reader out of the storyline. It's extremely difficult to pull off a great plot yet still have the fetish aspect featured so heavily, and I think you've done an incredible job with this.
My only criticism would have to do with Malva and Lucy. While I understand how the Flare Ball sort of hypnotizes its prisoners into being obedient, I felt the turnaround was a bit too quick. I fully expected Lucy to have to leave Malva shrunk and to show her who's boss before Malva would ever obey anything. Also, I'm a bit surprised that Lucy, despite being probably one of the greatest trainers in the world (she apparently would beat the Elite Four for practice), is also so malleable. I'm rooting for her, and I hope that you'll have her rediscover her mojo at some point. (On a sidenote, I also love the little callbacks you drop to the game here and there -- the part where Chloe makes fun of how Lucy blacks out every time she loses a fight is gold.)
One last thing: while the part where Chloe murders Lucy's Butterfree is actually amazingly well done and emotionally striking, my hope is that you keep the actual Pokemon in the background. That would just be my preference, because I wouldn't want animals, fictionalized or not, to feature in a fetish story that I read. However, since I know there are a lot of tastes out there, and since I'm part of a deviant minority as it is, I want to diplomatically emphasize that this would just be my preference, and that I definitely don't want to offend anyone. (Also -- moar feet! lol.)
Anyway, thanks for the fantastic story. I can't wait for future installments.
Author's Response:
It's been forever since I first your review and I have to first, before anything else, profoundly thank you for such a thoughtful and inspiring reaction to my work. I really thoroughly enjoy Pokemon myself, if it's not obvious, but I love to get immersed in worlds and imagine how I could create some sort of exciting narrative and character within these truly enjoyable worlds we play our games in.
For your points, I think what I really work for and what excites me most is the characters and their development more than any scenarios or actions. I want everything to have a purpose in developing their natures and relationships, and so far that's kept me driving the story forward organically while also letting me infuse a lot of moments that have their fetishistic appeal. I'm at a moment where I'm uncertain what the next step will be for everyone, but I also agree that the turn for Malva was perhaps a little too swift. I haven't decided if I'll make a change to that or allow it to be an aspect of the narrative for some future purpose. For Lucy, though, I wanted to do something with the idea that the protaganist of the Pokemon games is generally a young adolsecent or older child setting out for their first journey into the world on their own, and despite what talents and personal growth they might accomplish, they are still pretty much kids. A cunning adult with significant resources could certainly take advantage of their naivete, and I'm basically letting the "magic" of Flare Balls kind of fill in the variables of changing mindsets.
Again, I'm tremendously glad you like what I've done so far, and I'm working to continue it. I do have one other scene involving actual Pokemon planned, but I agree that I would like to keep them somewhat relegated to the background when it comes to fetish scenes. Goodness knows there's enough Gardevoir and Diglett porn out there for all of us.
Affectionately,
~K
[Report This]Date: November 14 2013 2:30 AM Title: Chapter 9
Good stuff ma'am.
[Report This]Date: November 11 2013 6:25 PM Title: Chapter 8
WHATATWIST!
Well played ma'am.
[Report This]Date: November 06 2013 9:34 PM Title: Chapter 7
Those two make such a lovely pair.
[Report This]Date: November 03 2013 11:40 PM Title: Chapter 6
I like Malva already.
[Report This]Date: November 02 2013 1:49 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great story so far! After reading the first chapter, I was expecting a simple cruel story involving a sexy Flare Admin but I'm surprised at how much thought you put into the lore. The way you warped Flare's goal in X/Y into a slave/micro story is brilliant. And Chloe is magnificently dominate as per usual with the cruel woman in your stories. Keep up the great work, Kaneda.
Oh and I'm very excited to see what you do with Malva. After defeating her and seeing her personality, I knew someone was going to use her in a cruel macro story.
Author's Response:
I don't know how well I got a feel for Malva's personality, but I just finished the first chapter of her interactions. Like you said, though, I found her kind of impressive when i interacted with her during the game. If anyone has the potential for violence in the game, it's her.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2013 5:04 PM Title: Chapter 4
Chloe is pretty much how this community would've written Sabrina if it could have.
[Report This]Date: October 31 2013 9:52 PM Title: Chapter 3
When does this episode come to tv?
[Report This]Date: October 31 2013 3:06 AM Title: Chapter 1
More! Can't wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: October 30 2013 12:20 AM Title: Chapter 2
I like Chloe and the fact that you're writing here and pie but that's not really relevant here so carry on.
[Report This]Date: October 29 2013 4:14 AM Title: Chapter 1
I'm not a pokehead but love your work.