[Report This]Date: September 14 2013 9:29 AM Title: Lunchbox
What a DELIGHTFULLY dark twist and finish. I was certainly engaged with this piece. Excellent work.
Author's Response:
Awesomes ^_^ Had great fun writing this so its great to see so many enjoying it :)
[Report This]Date: September 13 2013 8:25 PM Title: Lunchbox
You never disappoint! Wasn't expecting this, different type of story from you but excellent all the same. Conveyed the little girls confusion very well and thought the "Tear Here" was a nice touch and how she misunderstood it's meaning. Also thought the description of how the girl went about twisting her head was great.
Very well done!
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed :) I like to try new things now and then, keeps the violence fresh lol!
[Report This]Date: September 13 2013 6:08 PM Title: Lunchbox
I like it! Definitely wasn't what I was expecting it to turn out to be when I started reading. I did feel a little confused on Teah just assuming what her name and identity were from the tag, but that's really just a nitpick. The story is well-written and kind of chilling. Well done.
Author's Response:
Heyas, glad you enjoyed ^_^
I was hoping to get across her complete loss of identity and reason for being with the whole assumption of the food label being a name tag, kind of like it was the only thing she could potentiall get some for of being from, but i think perhaps i didnt put enough emotional description in to bring that immeadiately across :/
At least i kept the ending the 'Twist' i wanted it to be hehe :P
Thanks for commenting :)
[Report This]Date: September 13 2013 4:38 PM Title: Lunchbox
Pretty cool and unique. I got.a giant vampire race vibe from this.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much ^_^ Yeah thas essentially what i was hinting at, but obviously with it only being a short story i didn't want to waste my word limit going into their whole society history and stuff lol :P
Thanks for taking the time to comment :)