[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 2:02 AM Title: Revelation
Well done.
Author's Response:
Spanks.
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 12:50 AM Title: Revelation
As I've said, as hard a job as it is you are certainly capable of being a published writer. I shall await the next installments with great anticipation. In the meantime, take care of yourself and be well.
~Johnny
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 12:47 AM Title: Introduction
I think your story is coming along incredibly well. As I've said before each chapter (even the happier ones) leaves me on edge, ever and forever wanting to know what will happen next. You are a writer of unbelievably high magnitude and don’t ever try to convince yourself otherwise. You certainly have what it takes to be a published writer as well, of that I am sure. I’ll be looking forward to your next installments very much so.
~Johnny
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I've tried to make each chapter long enough so that something actually changes, whether it's moving the plot forward, or learning something about one of the characters, or even just a bit of exposition so you know how people are feeling. It can be hard to find convenient places to break from the story, as it's not designed to flow as a load of chapters, I'm trying to write it as if 'real' even though, obviously, I have control over it and no the other way round (oh yeah, I forgot)!
Deffo don't have what it takes to be a published writer! One word - deadlines! But thank you, it's high praise; I like to think I'm good at what I'm trying to do with this. If I ever get the opportunity to do anything that realises this type of story in film or animation, or whatever, I will carry over this approach into it and try and do it justice, just as I have done with every other bit of giantess content I've produced.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 11:30 PM Title: Revelation
This chapter has hit me in the feels so hard. The fact that he was one happy and had a lot of friends only to lose it all was really depressing. Because of his parents stupid choice Jack has lived through a terrible school life. It hurts to know that even if Jack gets the girl his situation doesn't get any better.
Don't get me wrong, this is an amazing story but I don't remember ever being effected this much by just a few paragraphs in a story. I guess that's just a testament of how powerful the writing is.
I don't see what Jack has to offer Penny other than Nostalgia but hopefully they will both be happy.
ICan't wait for this story to continue one day.
Author's Response:
I love finding out what people think about my work, it's super flattering and a complete privilege. I do not write this for the feedback (there are much more cathartic reasons), but I adore getting it, and even though I know I'm really lucky to get a good number of reviews already I always crave MOAR, a bit like you guys would like MOAR of this story, and regrettably I can rarely provide it.
But yeah, this review, I saw it last night at silly 'o' clock and it made my heart swell with pride. I'm not gonna get all corny about it and say that this makes the effort I put into the story worthwhile, and all that sort of mush, but honestly, getting a review where someone has made a connection with something you've written and really 'got' what you were trying to get across - it's an awesome feeling.
As a more direct response to what you've put, lancealot501, it's entirely a matter of opinion whether his parents made a stupid choice, or a moral one done for the right reasons at the time. His folks are Betas, they appear to be relatively happy, why shouldn't their son be too? Perhaps it's a case of the world having moved on since they were young, and they were naive about how readily a Beta boy would be accepted in a country where nowadays almost everyone young is going to become an Alpha.
Also, Jack and Penny are not an item or anything. She's doing the right thing because she's a good person. He's a bit of a passenger at the moment, relying on Delon and two Alpha girls he barely knows to help him out of a horrible situation. He clearly has feelings for her, because she's the first Alpha to be so kind to him and it's overwhelming for him emotionally, but her feelings are harder to read.
Date: May 19 2016 8:11 PM Title: Introduction
I'm sad you're taking a break but I understand, given you did upload at least 4 chapters during this past week or so.
I didn't expect Penny to be Poppy from Jack's childhood, that was a twist out of nowhere! Its cool to see that she knew him and they got reunited years later. I guess that explains how uncomfortable she was in his house, it reminded her of it.
Surprised she was keen to give more credit to Alex although I worry for her now because Caitlin will beat her. Be back soon!
Author's Response:
I'm super thrilled that you remembered the uncomfortableness from Chapter 3, I put in that seed SO early on, knowing that eventually it would make sense.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 7:05 PM Title: Revelation
Double-whoa!!!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks x2 !
Seriously though, if you do have more feedback I'd love to hear it. The story's taken a big step.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 6:50 PM Title: Introduction
Take all the time you need, it's a great point to stop on and it's not a cliiffhanger (that probably would've irked some readers). This last chapter added a lot more context to why Penny is so nice to Jack (of course in general she's been made to be a much more compassionate character).
Now there's a whole lot of interest in the future to how Caitlin is going to react to Jack's departure. More importantly when she'll realize the huge part Alex played in orchestrating it.
Speaking of Alex she's really soaring as one of my favorite characters, mainly since I like seeing heel-face turns in story-telling. Even if she overall is very indifferent and apathetic to betas the fact that she has the strongest moral compass in Caitlin's possee really sets her apart from being another one of her 'stooges' as Jack put it. It speaks hugely when even she was appauled at the levels of cruelty Jack was being subjected to and knew he likely wouldn't escape on his own. I'm guessing she'll try to keep her front of indifference to keep suspicion off of her.
Author's Response:
Penny's a very wholesome character, in fact, it's hard not to see her as almost artificially kind, like something's being covered up, or not quite right. I don't like one-dimensional characters, though it's not like I'd want Penny to be in any way cruel or mean just to avoid being too 'nice', so from the very beginning I tried to plant the seeds of her having a difficult history that explained how timid and shy, and kind, she was. In the 'revelation', you begin to see that she was quite a bold, headstrong child, but her experiences due to GH-X2 actually undid all of that, turning her into a cautious, conscientious, introspective character - which I think is a realistic and sympathetic way to explain why she has such a kind soul. Jack as well, through his flashbacks, can be seen as someone with quite a strong moral compass, and a running sequence of injustices running through his life ever since GH relegated him to the second tier of society. It's not about having, or not having the treatment - Penny would perhaps have been happier without it, Jack would perhaps have been happier with it, but it's now what they make of their situation that counts.
The decision to make Alex into a bit of an antihero(ine) was actually a kind of forced-hand thing that to happen simply to get rid of the stalemate at Caitlin's house. It never came out of the blue, however; I'd toyed with an early plotline where she would take pity on Jack because he could not get in touch with Penny yet, before the kidnapping plotline was implemented. I agree that it's a very interested development, she's an inside woman, and when the story returns to that side of things in due course, a fuller picture will emerge of what Alex has had to do.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 5:38 PM Title: Revelation
Wow, these past two chapters have seriously spiced up this story! I'm so glad that Jack is finally out of there, I almost wish we had a chapter JUST to see the expression on Caitlin's face! And this bit of backstory is great, I'm glad there's something more to Penny and Jack's relationship. Great stuff, it really sucks that's you're going into hiatus, I'm gonna miss this story!
Author's Response:
Thank you! I did feel like I was stringing things along with the Caitlin narrative a little bit (but that's actually what would happen, and I'm a slave to realism); it was just waiting for the opportunity to shake things up, and I wanted to do it as a kind of twist. The 'revelation' in the last chapter too, was hopefully an unexpected surprise, as there were only a couple of hints, if that, in the story that anything like that would happen.
The story is written from Jack's perspective entirely, so I'm sorry, you will not get to be a fly on the wall for Caitlin's reaction! Take it from me, though, she's not a happy camper.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 4:06 PM Title: Revelation
How can a backstory be so detailed?!! That was amazing! It just made their relationship so much deeper.
Karma is awesome. Jack saved Penny and now Penny saved Jack.
What a good note to take a break on. Well deserved.
I hope you come back soon. Enjoy your break!
Author's Response:
Thank you for your kind words!
Just for the sake of interest - the backstory is super detailed due to the way this story came to life; it evolved from a number of half-formed ideas I'd had for years and years, I just needed to refine these ideas down to one narrative that encapsulated everything I'd been thinking about. My first draft of GH-X2 actually had the revelation much much earlier, when Penny was walking Jack home, but I realised immediately how preposterous that was, for her to suddenly blurt it out like that unprovoked. As a writer, I just wanted that emotional hit to come straight in, as I felt like it was a really strong twist, but I knew that if I pushed it back to much later, and could take the story somewhere first, that it would have a more resonant impact. Ultimately, I ended up conceiving the kidnapping, and had to spend a long time figuring out how to make that fantasy scenario of being trapped around a dominant, but incredibly sexy girl work - writing erotic stuff well is actually much harder for me than working on the 'plot'... In the end, the stuff with Caitlin has ended up being the main body of this story, and that's cool with me - it's a major turn-on and, as I say, kind of wish-fulfillment, fantasy scenario stuff, but now the story has opened up again, it gives breathing room for a lot of the ideas I had at the start, but now with added drama and anticipation.
I've written short stories of debatable quality since my teenage years, some exploring the Penny role, and some exploring the Caitlin role, but this is the first time I've actually tried to make both sides work as part of a bigger narrative. It's because it's based on giantess, and real life musings I had back then, that this story is about 17-year-olds, and the drama revolves around that kind of not-adult, not-independent, but scared, confused, emotional, no-longer-innocent time in your life, that everyone claims is amazing, but I found quite daunting. I felt very insecure, especially with girls, and this just builds on that feeling, in a giantess NWO setting. This is what I would have written then, but never did.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 10:01 AM Title: Anticipation
AT LAST! The cavalry has arrived.
If I could give you eleven points, I most definitely would. Bravo!
Author's Response:
50 points to Gryffindor!!!
Date: May 19 2016 3:40 AM Title: Introduction
Not I'm unhappy but I didn't expect Penny's return. However, Jack suffered enough to avoid more damages cause a grandpa's poem loll.
Author's Response:
It was meant to be a bit of a surprise, I think a lot of people expected him to get destroyed by Amber - tried to do a bit of a curveball there!
Date: May 19 2016 12:33 AM Title: Anticipation
OH MY GOD SHE'S BACK! Also, you're frequent updates are a godsend. I like the detail of the house, the half-steps meant for Betas, shows her family actually cares about Betas or perhaps there is a Beta member. Either way, it shows the difference.
Author's Response:
My frequent updates will now dry up for quite a while I'm afraid, but it was good while it lasted! The story has moved on and developed quite a bit over the last 5 chapters, and there will be more to come in future, when I have time.
The stairs detail is something I've been saving up; I think this is actually the first staircase mentioned in the story so far, as Jack lives in an Beta-sized bungalow, and Caitlin in an Alpha-sized one.
[Report This]Date: May 18 2016 7:40 PM Title: Anticipation
He was expecting to go to hell, but instead he found heaven.
Author's Response:
Very nicely put!
Date: May 18 2016 11:33 AM Title: Conniption
Ooo! Conflict! You seem to have found a decent balance of chapters for tone, sexy stuff and conflict here.
Gotta say, I was sad to leave Nice Caitlin for Nasty Caitlin, as it was very endearing to see her so comforting for once - but then, I probably wouldn't be reading if that was all there was to the character!
Author's Response:
Nasty Caitlin isn't 100% nasty... otherwise Jack's head would probably be facing the wrong way. Amber, on the other hand, now there's something scary... Nice Caitlin was thought extinct for many years - it's highly unlikely anyone else has even seen so much as a fleeting glance of this rare, majestic animal.
In all seriousness, Caitlin has enormous issues (geddit...) but she is still a human female, and she has needs, be they sexual ones, recreational ones, or emotional ones.
Date: May 17 2016 7:20 PM Title: Conniption
Interesting to see Caitlin in a temporary state of weakness. She still comes off as a stone cold bitch in general, but not such a cardboard cutout type of villain now. I'm sure the next chapter is going to be hell on earth for Jack.
Kind of wondering for how long Jack is going to end up in captivity. This basically has to end at some point for him. Either he dies in Caitlin's clutches, is released, escapes (unlikely I know), or maybe becomes brainwashed into staying Caitlin's boytoy forever. Those seem the most logical conclusions to his conundrum, but maybe you have something altogether different planned.
Also wondering if Penny might make an appearance soon in coming chapters. Her sympathetic nature serves as a nice counterweight to Caitlin's malice. It would kind of be a shame for her to simply be out of the story altogether. That being said, the story is intriguing in its own way (if a bit sadistic at times). Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Deffo stone cold. It's not her fault though, it's the just way she's... written (Jessica Rabbit style).
The answers to your questions may well have been answered in the next chapters, suffice it to say, your thoughts are/were very much along the right track.
[Report This]Date: May 17 2016 5:08 PM Title: Conniption
Yep, Jack triggered something. He made her she'd a tear and reveal that she had some concern for him.
In other words, Jack outplayed Caitlin. Big Time. I mean, she had a loss of words and Jack took advantage of it.
Having been defeated once finally, Caitlin feels embarrassed. She decides that this can never happen again and she establishes dominance again.
Jack's little victory doesn't last long as Caitlin ties him up and leaves him trapped waiting for Amber.
Will Amber show up before Caitlin? Of course, and I believe Amber will break Jack. And if Jack thought him being sexually assaulted by Caitlin was bad, then these next few chapters will make that feel like nothing.
I think Jack can maybe tip over the laundry basket. If something heavy is at the top, it actually helps because the weight can bring the basket down.
Well, Jack is in for a rough meeting with Amber. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
A small victory in a war he looks like losing, or something more significant? It took forever, but the longer he was able to withstand Caitlin, the more she let him in, without intending to.
Date: May 17 2016 3:36 PM Title: Conniption
Really Caitlin? "Teach him his place in the world" is the reason for all this? That seems WAY too simple a reason for doing all these things, you'd think a simple pounding would suffice, no?
Author's Response:
Perhaps she's trying to teach his place in the world, is underneath a giant woman? But yeah, you're damn right, that can't be the only reason... I get the feeling she's a big liar!
Date: May 17 2016 3:33 PM Title: Introduction
Hmm, see i would have to say that when i use the words "cunt" and "bitch", that i use it for both males and females, not really using it for its "intended" gender. And I am in no way a 'macho male' nor am i 'secure' in myself as it seems you believe, they're just my go-to words for when i'm upset; though i'm not angry per se, I guess i'd describe it as a slight agitation at best. And as for why i use those specific words, it's influenced by where i live, not by my outlook on women (i'm writing this bit due to the "because she's "just" a women" bit). As someone who has been around a lot of women, having also been bullied by women, i must say that regardless of someone's gender, both have the capacity and means to hurt; an example i'll give, is a woman that was shorter than me, smaller frame, though much more ferocity, managed to easily beat me to the ground and proceed to kick me (though for no other reason discernibly, than the fact i do not fight back); so forgive me if i'm sounding a tad defensive, but you seem to have interpretted a lot more from my message than was actually there, and seemed to have assumed a lot about myself from it. I'm from an Australian culture, where everyone uses "cunt" for literally everything, and "bitch" as an adjective towards anything; I don't believe for a second that women are any "lesser" than men, nor do i have the mindset that "if some bitch attacked me i could deal with it" mindset. Though i can see how there may have been things that lead you to believe this about me, and my message being as short and brash as it is, would definitely not give any reason to think of me in a positive light, i must stress that you're looking too much into what isn't there and making too many assumptions about me as a person.
Though you are right that it is very interesting to see how we perceive the difference in impact in comparison to a giantess decimating an entire city, versus this one on one interaction. Though i honestly must say that i don't read often on this site, I cannot handle the very unreaslistic reactions and developments that are rampant in this community, mainly due to how detached i feel from it, nor do i watch much film, so i don't have a built up familiarity with these kinds of gratuitous actions and gruesome developments in terms of story or otherwise.
As for Jack being hard to project into, i'd have to disagree, i find it easy to relate with jack, maybe it's because i've been in a situation where those bigger than me have 'dominated' over me, and i reacted in a similar way. So it's incredibly easy for me at least, to project into this story and be drawn in, though of course, it's not easy to imagine this specific situation.
But yes, that was me saying 'well done', you've definitely made an interesting story, and i think that you've done really, really well in terms of how you've written it out.
Author's Response:
Cheers!
(I wasn't singling you out for criticism or anything, there have been a few reviews along the same lines - I just chose to talk about it in your reply as it had been a while since someone had called Caitlin a bitch directly in their review).
[Report This]Date: May 16 2016 9:38 PM Title: Capitulation
Poor kid! By the time Monday rolls around, she'll probably stuff him back in the teddy bear, bound-and-gagged once again.
Date: May 16 2016 10:22 AM Title: Introduction
This is extremely fucked up, but it possesses such talent. I'm a mixture of emotions, on one hand, well fucking done with writing what you have, it's brilliant, but on the other hand; FUCKING HELL, what a bithc, amber is a cunt, i want them both severely injured.
All i can say is this is fucking amazing, and amazingly fucked.
Author's Response:
Hahaha! Thank you, I think!
It's fascinating for me to read the comments from people who get supremely angry and frustrated at Caitlin's (and Amber's) actions, and don't get me wrong, it's very flattering that the depiction is powerful enough to bring out such a response. It's meant to be hard to put yourself in Jack's shoes; Caitlin's psychotic - the kidnapping, the forced sexual stuff (rape), the casual disregard for his emotional and physical wellbeing - it's brutal. Horrible things like this do happen in real life, with the genders reversed notably. Most horror films, or cinema that has difficult-to-watch torture or rape scenes (I dunno, gangster movies, psychological thrillers etc) will go way beyond this level of discomfort for the viewer. I acutely dislike blood-letting, serious injury and dismemberment, some lines would need to be crossed here for anything like that to occur. I'm also not so sure it's 100% 'fucked up' to depict this; it's an exploration of a reality within a universe where there are a few vulnerable half-size men, and this is something that I predict would happen in that context.
A lot of 'evil' giantess fiction I've read deals with women who destroy cities with buildings full of innocent lives, or torture, crush and eat shrunken tinies who are curiously tolerant of these capital offences for the sake of their fetish. I don't mean this in a disparaging way at all, it's just really interesting that when the giant is big enough, or the tiny small enough, that the psychology and humanity of it isn't as noticeable. That's kinda the crux of this size ratio, and this scenario - Caitlin and Jack are almost at a liveable scale difference (imagine a very tall woman and a real life homunculus or dwarf) so it is quite visceral and 'real' to see prejudices and abuse depicted on someone more 'human' in scale to the person mistreating them.
In terms of the 'karma' you hint at, and the very gender-specific insults you've thrown at Caitlin and Amber - this is very, very easy to do from the position of a full-grown 'macho' male, secure in the knowledge that if some 'bitch' attacked you, you'd be able to teach her a lesson or whatever. This is not the case for Jack, these aren't bitches and cunts who are inferior to him (I hate those words used in this context, but I can appreciate why you're using them), it's almost genderless, he's a tiny animal unable to protect himself from much larger, stronger animal, whether they're female or not. That's the horror, he finds her incredibly attractive, but she's debasing him, does that make it ok, does it even make it LESS ok than if an Alpha man kidnapped him, because she's *just* a woman?
Anyway, just my thoughts on it. Thanks for the comment.