Date: December 11 2015 8:21 PM Title: Love is Blind
This is . . . intriguing, actually. I don't know why I hadn't read this already.
Personally, I find the possibility of one of them having uncompromising ethics really interesting, so that Melanie could get increasingly angry and sadistic with them trying to get them to break for her. Given that, outside PCKR, I haven't really done infinitely-recurring tinies, I have had to shelve the concept . . . but I think you might do it better.
[Report This]Date: August 26 2013 12:53 PM Title: Love is Blind
Haha, didn't expect to get a chapter named after me -- thanks for the shoutout!
And nicely done with your solution. You addressed some of the more bizarre implications of the box's properties without getting bogged down in the details. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response:
It's the least I could do for someone that took the time to give such an elaborate response. I love new concepts, and I have many of them... I hate the idea of regurgitating the same scenario over and over again. For example, my other story on here, Thornton Chronicles is ultimately about a shrunken man orchestrating the demise of the giantesses that think they have him beat.
This story is more about the raw aspects of the fantasy, moulded into what I hope is an exciting read with a concept that can take hold of a person's imagination and run wild. Only problem is that I think people are reading the summary and avoiding it because they think there's going to be a giant man somewhere down the line.
Anywho, thanks for the review. Thornton Chronicles could do with one. (Hint, Hint)
[Report This]Date: August 24 2013 5:34 PM Title: Love is Blind
Thornton, this is an amazing start. I clicked on the link for the tags, but I'm gonna stay for the story. The situation you've set up is creative and captivating, as many have already noted. There's a lot of different directions to go with this, and it certainly helps that the main character, Melanie, seems pretty interesting in her own right. If you're able to keep the other girlfriends similarly unique and fleshed-out, you'll have quite the interesting dynamic going on -- I guess a sort of temporal hierarchy based on who was the most recent girlfriend. Another twist I envision would be having Melanie desperate for James and her to remain dating later on in the story, and for her to have her comeuppance in the box when the other girls get at her. Really, there's so many places to go with this, and I'm excited to see where you take it. It doesn't hurt that you're a very strong writer from a technical standpoint, either.
However, one issue that I have with the story also happens to be exactly what I really like about the story: the premise of the box. The idea that ex-girlfriends of James would end up the box is really cool for all of the reasons I mentioned above and more, but it's also problematic logistically. For instance, if the ex-girlfriends disappear into the box, wouldn't that mean that James is a prime suspect for a series of murders? He can't just go around having every woman he dates disappear for no reason, even if he is completely innocent. And let's say he decides to backslide (breaks up with the girl, but it's not clean so he decides to call her up and rekindle the fire). What happens then? There are other issues that can arise, but I won't belabor the point. All I'll say is that if you're going to make the premise believable even within its own fantastical framework, you'll have to at least be consistent, otherwise it'll be tougher and tougher for us to suspend our disbelief. But I'm betting you'll be able to pull it off just fine.
Again, great start with the story. I'm definitely hoping for some violence, retribution, cruelty, etc., especially with feet! Keep up the good work.
Date: August 23 2013 3:01 PM Title: Love is Blind
Wow this is a great start! I wonder if the box can shrink anyone or anything somehow? And im a crush fan it seems there could be some foot related stuff later, possibly some cat and mouse?
Author's Response:
Cat and Mouse? Crush?
Potentially Chapter five, maybe four. I didn't intend on it, but now that you asked... I'll throw it in.
Thornton
[Report This]Date: August 22 2013 6:02 PM Title: Love is Blind
Awesome start
Author's Response:
Anything in particular you'd like to happen?
Forgot to mention, ex-girlfriend names are stil up for grabs.
Thornton
[Report This]Date: August 22 2013 5:19 PM Title: Love is Blind
I liked this story and I could see myself reading more. I'm just not a fan of giant men.
aaron
Author's Response:
James never interacts with the tinies, he never finds out about them.
Melanie however is going to interrogate all the little bitches to find out exactly how the box works. Her methods are... violent. ;)