Reviewer: stargate1990 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 08 2013 4:59 PM Title: Chapter 1

This story is really great you should really continue it.

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2013 2:36 PM Title: Chapter 2

I don't what everybody else was complaining about. I think this was (and still is) just great as a two-chapter one-shot! Maybe what they truly meant to ask is: might there someday be a sequel?

Reviewer: Frollo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2013 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 1

Incredible story, i really enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing.

We are all looking forward to an other instalment . :)

Reviewer: DrCreep Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2013 8:50 AM Title: Chapter 2

Ok Littletoy. thanks a lot for bringing back and reposting a story that was written over a decade ago...  But my question to you is this and please don't be insulted by it...

Is there ever going to be a chapter 3?  Or is this just redundancy here?

As I for one would like to see a chapter 3.

Dr Creep

Author's Response:

I doubt there will be a chapter 3. I posted it here because I wanted to have my stories all together here. No offense taken. :)

Reviewer: wildcatman Signed [Report This]
Date: August 05 2013 1:38 PM Title: Chapter 1

This is one of the very first GTS story's that I ever read.  WOW!  I thought that I was having a 'flash-back' or something!    This tale was so inspiring to me,  'that', and the fact that, (at the time) I thought that I, was just 'ONE,' out of a very small group of people whom could actually enjoy such a fantastic tale.

I thought that I had discovered gold, when I first read this...

I'm sure, that if not hundreds, it would be thousands of others, that was feeling the same way as I did, (at that time).    This is one of my all time favorites  ;`)

Thanks for re-posting this Littletoy!

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: August 05 2013 6:23 AM Title: Chapter 1

That was a really nice initial chapter, and apart from some gripes with the back story that want to mention I think it will develop into a good story, especially if there is emphasis on the relationship between the characters and is not all fap, fap, fap. The first is that I know everyone wants to get to the shrinking part ASAP but the premise could have been better. If there was a way to shrink don't you think the military would be using it to spy on people already and it's use would be restricted? Especially if a mere student could come up with one after only a few months. I would have thought it far more believable if a professor rather than a student have access to such technology.

A better premise could be that he heard someone at the university had access to such technology and he wants to use it on himself because he likes the idea of being shrunk. Or that there are little people (similar to The Borrowers) living alongside the humans and he wants to become friends with a human, who he hopes will mother/protect him, perhaps because he has no family or simply because he likes humans. Spiders and mice would be terrifying at that size, for example.

Also, rather than shrinking in a random place, albeit a place with "hot babes" as it was put, I felt it would have been better if he had made sure that he'd be found by someone who would take good care of him, perhaps by studying the people around the campus first. It would be equally as likely, at least in my opinion, that someone nasty, a lecturer, or more likely, unappealing, could have found him so it would have added more believable to the story.

As far as the characters go however, I am really enjoying them so far, although I did feel that Nicole got too sexual too soon (the insertion part) as they had barely met; in other words, not enough time for their relationship to blossom. I should repeat that despite this, I did enjoy the chapter. I think it would have been more creative though if he had undone her bra himself and to help him calm down a bit have him explore her body first rather than have her automatically take charge all of the time. 

One thing to note is that I heard somewhere that if there was one thing a human could survive on and eat nothing else it would be breast milk. This would be quite demeaning for Rob I suspect although my guess is that he may like it and would mean the girls don't have to set aside food for him. Being a biology student, he may already be aware of this curious fact of course.

My only real concern is that this may be another story that is written only as long as the author has an interest in it and has no predefined ending point. I am guessing that maybe the story will reach its end when he returns to normal size, if he does.

In addition, I felt that the chapter could have been broken up because it is rather long. Part one would up to the point where is about to go into the second room with the two. It may also be an idea to add a prologue so that the how he gets to become small and/or wants to (or the reason why he is) is explained a bit better and expanded upon.

As far as spelling and grammar go, the chapter was generally good although there were a few errors that I noted. They were only minor and I didn't notice any spelling errors. Such as here:

He was about to give up altogether when he notices one of his mixtures had a most unusual reaction

The story is written in the past tense so you should changed notices to noticed. And here:

Ever he had been a kid he had a secret fetish.

You mean: ever since

Also, you don't always remember to add the on the end of 'blond'.

Here: 

and could just glimpse the suggestive bulge of breast before she was hid from view by the bed. 

You mean it because breasts don't have a gender.

Here:

We'll switch you between rooms so no one get suspicious about just this room

You mean gets.

Here:

He could also feel the others' touches

The apostrophe here represents multiple ownership. I don't feel that it is needed in this case.

Here:

even thought he was in his opinion, a studly guy

You mean though.

Here:

Nicole was nowhere to be seen she must have left while he was whirling about in Kelly's clutches. 

After seen you need either the word "so", a hyphen or a semi-colon.

Here:

Kelly blew a quick kiss down to the figure on the bed, turned and knocked on the bathroom door".

There's an extra speech mark that isn't needed. This sentence should also be on a separate line to the speech prior to it.

Here:

When she saw he was the short giantess with the short blond hair and sparkling green eyes smiled across the room at him. 

This sentence needs rewording. It doesn't make much sense.

Here:

"Comfy", she asked sweetly.

You need a question mark. And here too:

"That better", she asked.

It does seem strange that you would put the commas outside of the speech marks. Normally they are put inside the speech marks, as are other forms of punctuation at the end of a character speaking.

Here there seems to be a random one:

1Nicole wasn't through with him yet though. 

Here:

or the one between his legs, which begged to be allowed to dive into her soft flesh, regardless of how much of her there was.  Told him that it was inevitable that one or all of the four young women

After was I think there should be a comma and then a "that" so it should go:

was, that told him

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 04 2013 10:15 PM Title: Chapter 1

First chapter was amazing, but please format the second one! As it is now its practically unreadable.

Author's Response:

Sorry about that. I deleted it and will re-format. I should have checked.