Reviewer: Asukafan2001 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 14 2013 6:36 PM Title: Prologue

Really enjoying the methodical pacing of this story. It has a nice slice of life feel to it as most of the activities revolve around things that jessica would normally do. It's not the usual glorified fetish fanfare of lick my feet or ass, etc. 

looking forward to chapter six. 

Reviewer: wildcatman Signed [Report This]
Date: July 14 2013 7:48 AM Title: Chapter 5

Drew has got to be the un-luckiest dude in the world,...or maybe the Luckiest!  I loved the ride inside of her tight shorts pocket, and the casual way that Jess 'washed' him at the sink.  Watching Ms Bloom eating was so wonderfully described that I felt like I was sitting on her food tray!  ( I could almost smell the crispy bacon ) 

This is a fantastic work of novelist quality.  Your way of writing is quite dramatical, and very detailed and well developed in process.  I look forward to watching this play out...

P.S. Even the 'giant-men', in chapter 2 was tastefully done, and did make this seem alot more realistic....

Great Stuff Dude,  I'm Hooked on it!

 

Reviewer: Sizescribe Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11 2013 9:02 PM Title: Prologue

 

"Even the few people he had met that were into video games and table top gaming weren't looking for a new DM. The few friends he had made kept trying to get him to try out dumb systems like Vampire or Shadowrun. Drew just wasn't interested in that dumb shit. He wanted Paladins slaying Dragons, and Wizards exploding Orcs with fireballs.

Drew wanted what he was used to."

 

You know, it is not every writer that can convey the turmoil of a major life change, through exploding orcs, well done. look forward to digging into this story with a fork and a knife, because it seems prime so far.

Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed [Report This]
Date: July 09 2013 6:48 PM Title: Prologue

I'm enjoying this story, with a few reservations. These, above all:

1) Your character prides himself on his uniqueness/intelligence/quirkiness, but is clearly no different, at bottom, from the jocks (& while we're at it, why is it always the jocks?) who bullied him in high school. There's no doubt in my mind that if he had the power, he'd use it in exactly the same way as those who beat him up and humiliated him. So he comes off as nasty, woman-hating & self-deluding. Also: "Salinger and Hemingway!" 

2) I think you're a writer who's competent (and insightful?) enough to understand that a girl's first reaction on seeing -- and not only spotting, but recognizing -- a shrunken man, in nature, would include feels of deep and profound shock. If she's human, she would be unsettled. In your story, she reacts in the regular storybook way, still: she's mildly surprised, and then rolls him up in her sock. Typical. And she does this because he was a snaily, perverted little stringy, scrawny-armed teenager-tutor when she knew him at his normal size. The suspension of disbelief here, for me, is two miles high. 

You're probably capable enough to take this story to a higher level. In any case, I think it's your best one -- though I think your range is too limited, and you're over-specializing in the old high school & college scenarios. For your next story, maybe choose something a little out of the way (you're probably a guy in his early or mid-twenties, so it makes sense that you're fantasizing about the world you just left or are living, but whatever, just my 2 cents).

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 09 2013 6:48 AM Title: Prologue

I love it !

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: July 06 2013 9:23 AM Title: Chapter 3

OK! So he survived to this chapter. I bet he still buys it in the next one.

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: July 06 2013 9:08 AM Title: Chapter 1

Intriguing start! I read the first two chapters in one sitting. I'm now off to chapter three.