I'm working on the next chapter - but I currently feel stuck trying to figure out a couple things. I just.. need to take a break from it, you know...

And I'm not trying to be "a bitch" in the reviews - but rather suggest some problems that I see and how to make the stories better - in my opinion, at least :>

Author's Response:

If you don't like the battle scenes, you don't HAVE to read them, but I seriously appreciate your critiques, they're helping me write much better I think.  

I read the last two chapters.. twice... but I still think Myera is made of formica and cannot see the point of the battles description.

About Myera - while other Amazons seem to be evil because they are evil (but let's assume we haven't seen enough details to understand it better), the gentle one is gentle because she is gentle and doesn't want not to be gentle. That's not a very good reason, but couldn't find anything else in her thoughts and behavior - not to mention the fact that if every other Amazon was evil, then she would have grown up this way as well. I hope You have something planned to explain the world... I wanted to write "more", but I'll settle for "at all". Great descriptions and all, but the world and characters are still empty and shallow after almost 10k words.

When it comes to the battles and armies - it's all cute and everything, but this is not BBC or History Channel. At least I don't think... it's great to have some descriptions to immerse in the world, but come on - there's plenty of such media about such things elsewhere: movies, series, games, books, comics and so on - I fail to see the point. I thought the first chapter was to introduce the setting, say third one could be to give them some hope, but... the whole 6th chapter doesn't contribute to anything - the description of yet another victory doesn't help to build up Pionus character, we hardly know anything about the soldiers and enemies - simply put: why bother?

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!

While I was expecting (and hoping for) a story set in Mycenaean Greece, this mix of the fantastical and historical is equally welcome here. 

Good:
- The cinematic movement of your narrative style.
- The enjoyment you take in writing battle scenes/swinging swords around. You have a tendency to see rather than hear or touch -- and you seem to strive most of all toward a visually brilliant realism (as opposed to investigating the psychology of your characters, or turning your eyes and ears toward the landscape, or smelling/touching/tasting the world around you, etc). These battle scenes have momentum, and this is what you do best.
- The giant "femur" in the desert -- this detail is particularly inspired, and was the only thing in your story that really made my skin tingle. Would have liked more details like this.
- The Amazon society. I can tell you're not interested in this -- but dig in more deeply, and see what you learn. How did their society end up like this (in terms of gender dynamics/hierarchies, etc.)? Are the women polyandrous? Or the men polygamous? Do the men ever fight for their freedom? Do the slaves? etc. etc.

Bad:
- The overuse of adverbs.
- The dialogue. The reader doesn't need to be reminded of your characters' names every other line. & the page is cluttered with dozens of gratuitous "he saids in such and such a way" and "she saids, ditto."
- Characters. And character descriptions: when the narrator describes the Amazons, his voice sounds infatuated, half-besotted. At those moments, I could be reading any giantess story on this site. The details don't stand out because the narrator's eye distinguishes between the Amazons on the basis of -- are they sexually attractive or not (& if so, what color are their eyes, hair, what's their build, etc. etc.). Talk about the scars on their cheeks. The way they smell. The sound of their voices. The thoughts in their head. Anything.
- Absence of details like the femur bone above. gerald, though, (like everyone here, including me,) he probably has his private obsessions and reads and reviews accordingly -- makes a great point about the forest. If you'd shown a bare, bleak, denuded landscape instead of a green, leafy, healthy forest, the reader would pay attention, and wonder about it.

Other things to say too. But keep going. (Also, on a private note, please don't make "Myera" the sort of giantess I'm afraid she will & hope she won't be.)

Just wanted to say you're doing a great job with this story. The fight sequences are done out well, including this one. Keep at the pace and rate you're going, want to say hurry up because of how good it is, but I don't want you to rush the quality of your great work. 

First of all, I wasn't trying to drive You crazy with the previous comment and it was just my ignorant thoughts on the matter - obviously You did more research (or are just more knowledgeable in the history area, so no worries).

It's so refreshing to see an attempt to writing something actually somewhat realistic - and my thoughts aren't really meant as negative criticism, just suggestions (my, personal, probably irrelevant) on how to improve the story. It's clear You've put a lot of thought into it already, just trying to help.

So, with that in mind, we go to the ch2:

The preparation is just the set up for the real meat of the story, but I cannot imagine a forest in the context of giantesses - it takes hundreds of years for trees like that to grow up and even them walking around would likely cause the vegetation growth to be severely restrained (I mean - You did mention they lived there for decades, right?)

Also - there wouldn't be any reason for them to "hide" in a forest: like.. why would they bother? It greatly restricts their sight, makes it impractical to hunt - unless they were living off the forest fruits and such.

I don't know, living in a forest seems impractical - that's all.

The army gathering next to a forest seems a bit silly - why not hide inside and try to sneak the amazons? At least send some scouts to plan ahead. It seems it should be far easier to surprise them with a smaller group of skilled warriors with poisoned arrows - those things can be lethal.

Also - "well proportioned" in the historical context can mean a variety of things - the definition of female beauty changed over the centuries and even decades. I imagine what You may intend to communicate in this, but just a friendly hint for any future descriptions.

When it comes to the fight - even being surprised by a forest fire - I'm not sure if the first thing to do when noticing something on the ground is to.. step on it? Certainly not my experience - and regardless of however angry, annoyed or bored I - or anyone I have known - may have been.

Not to mention the kill - I don't know, it's just that it all seemed.. too easy. "Hey, let's kill a five thousand metric tons, two hundred feet tall monster" - or was she bigger? The head up to the top of the trees suggests an even larger height - "with some sticks and fire". The entire thing sounds too convenient - the spikemen were too confident in my opinion, she even swiftly noticed them (despite the nearby fire - those things tend to be fairly loud) and they managed to rise up just in time. Not to mention that she didn't notice their plan - with a pretty good vintage point, I would imagine her being easily able to spot the holes they dug - and their weapons. I suppose she might have been "stereotypically" "evil" and "careless" about where she walks - but humans (and some other animals) used to look where they put their feet. Well, humans at least before the shoes were developed, it mattered somewhat more back then. I'd also think she would have much harder soles - having adapted to this life in the wilderness. I mean - she wasn't three years old, right? Just random thoughts, and no worries - Your depiction of events is still far better than 95+% of other stories.

But finally, I would imagine that when something falls back - it would push the things away from it. Inertia works this way at such larger scale - hard to picture a burning tree falling onto her chest to pin her down. And especially why struggle - and not just shrug it away? This whole scene looks like she was made of.. I don't know, paper?

All in all, it seems too convenient for me - I understand You wanted to give them an easy victory to put hope in their struggle against antagonists, but.. it made their fight somewhat unrealistic and maybe a bit shallow for me.

But don't worry about the silly old me and keep it coming :>

Author's Response:

I appreciate the comments! I hadn't thought about the whole 'well proportioned' concept, thanks for pointing it out. As for her death, was it incredibely lucky and convenient? Certainly. But the reason her life ended was unconsciousness and then suffocation due to the copious amounts of burning naptha, the tree was just sort of there to provide heat energy for the naptha to  combust. You are right about the fight scene though, It would have been better if she had acted like a sensible human. Maybe she just thought of humans as weak and incapable? I don't know. I'll be sure to incorporate your  advice in chapters to come. Thanks! 

For starters, several historical inaccuracies - I'm not an expert, but I'd think the nobles (as warriors in the feudal system), cavalry (the way how You seem to portray them - especially the armoured ones), "sir" (as in chivalry) and artillery (at least used against infantry rather than solely in siege warfare) - are all "inventions" of the middle ages, rather than features of any classical civilization. I may be wrong though and I also understand this is just fiction, so whatever.

But - titan category? Anything significantly larger than 100 feet will simply massacre any ancient army... With, say, 200ft - the skin would be too thick to be pierced by anything short of a knight in full charge or ballista projectile.

I hope You have something more planned than just mindless rampage - which is quite plentiful around here already...

Author's Response:

Thanks for the reply. A noble warrior class did in fact exist in classical society in Egyptian empire, and especially in Royal Egyptian Mamluks, but for the most part cavalry were trained warriors in the Western world, but Greek Hipparchia wore armour, armoured cavalry is a classical invention, although it became much more prominent in the Medieval era. So your statement has some merit, but it not completely true. As for ancient artilley, Philip II of Macedon made use of large arrow launching mechanisms, and obviously catapaults (although mainly in sieges). Alexander the Great made great use of catapaults on battlefields, as well as sieges. Meaning they were used to attack multiple infantry formations by flinging multiple stones as opposed to the one large stone used in sieges. You are correct in calling someone 'sir' is a Medieval invention, my mistake.